Best Sweatpants Poems

The relay race starts with a bang as rain comes pouring down.
The starting runner, Spring, flies by in her bright flower crown.
Baton gets passed to...

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Where'd you go?
oh where did you go
my precious camel toe?

played me like a fiddle
with your bubbly middle
you're such a skanky hoe
but I love you so
camel...

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I'm a mind raper
I'm a fine rapper
You'd better stay out of my way
Cause my nine's always strapped
Even on laundry day
Got my glock tucked in my...

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I am just finishing my morning meditation when I hear my doorbell ring. It actually sounds more like that buzzing sound you hear if you...

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Daylight dies
Blackout the sky
Does anyone care
Is anyone there 
Enjoy this life 
Pop open a Sprite 
Roll over to the right and kiss my wife 
She's...

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The house is burning 
With violent noise 
And red all-over.

I sit in the heat 
With a prayerful heart, 
That he would arrive. 

Superman in his
Spandex...

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on a field trip freshman year
the boy
in special classes walked 
up the muddy trail.
he
walked on the side,
balancing on the dry stones
aligning the path.
he followed some
acquaintances.
an...

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I look a sight!  And covering my skin
are old loose sweatpants I don’t ever wear
outside the house.  That means I’m staying in!
No lipstick....

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I was working out on the elliptical machine in the gym, feeling good and watching 
the "Calories Burnt" number climb higher and higher.

Then, I noticed...

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One particularly memorable critic referred to me as a neckbeard in a conversation with a friend this morning. Both of the twats were skinny, pencil-head...

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I am the flower that lingers in your garden, fighting the ugly, prickly weeds that have choked the life and color from every other bloom.

I...

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Tamera liked to run in the cold, on a whim she stopped by Woolworth and bought a package 
of hot tamale candies to eat after...

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Cartilage Cartridge Carthage

Spread my skin around your city limits

And sow these Dragon Teeth to reap my heart

Apple red lace, apple sweet lips, apple techie, apple...

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Another true tom tale;

Not too long ago
I did really own
A pair of 
Fruit of the Loom briefs,
One detined to make me groan

For sure, it had,
Seen...

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If mama could see me now, I’d say
You’d be jumping for joy
I used to stand tall on the old dusty chair next to the flower...

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Dressed in an old tee and sweatpants
hair unkempt in a careless ponytail
changes nothing but multiple hats
honestly, too many for a day.

Cook, cleaner, driver, gardener, and...

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on confessional summer streets of city
the heat scums in like a churlish treacle
in back of the five and dime bodies drift by
cotton barely captures their...

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after having cut off
everyone s/he loved or
having them made that decision
for him/her,
s/he was alone in 
training for months,
with a minimal diet
reducing
reducing
reducing,
with the workouts from twice...

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stop traffic and cause accidents
dudes try to holla whether I'm in stilettos or chancletas (flip flops)
fresh to def or on some "sweatpants, du- rag" bumish
I...

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Quiet Sunday morning.
Tantrums of birds
In the mystery
Of magic distance.
Backyard patio cigarette
Wafts smoke through
The brisk fresh
Air, and me
Waiting to propel
Through the wooded
Green, like prophets
Hungry for salvation.

My...

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I know you won't see this 
but I must say how I felt the last half of year or so.
I was a coward 
but for...

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I wear your sweaters, while watching the TV,
I wear your sweatpants, when I need you next to me.
I wear your socks, when my feet are...

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Tip toe tip toe
[[creaaaaak]]
tip toe tip toe
little white ankle socks slide up brown wooden stairs
one...two...three...four....five....six....seven...eight...nine...ten...eleven...twelve...
one set of stairs down
tip toe tip toe
light gray sweatpants sweep...

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As we grow up
We learn that even the 1 person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down 
probably will
You will have your heart broken...

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feeling drained
in a good way
don't know how to fill
the voided sore
now that the infected puss
has been spewed from within
and yet there is still
a crater,scar,sore
spot here...

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