Best Surnames Poems

I worked in an Insurance office and loved my job
But the manager was an idle fat slob
He’d put in expenses sheets for work he hadn’t done
And was out of the door in front of everyone

But I digress…

He asked me to call two people on the...

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Amidst these inlets and islands
Lies a land of a patriot nation
Where clans decree their might
Together in mixed relation

From the Lowlands to the Highlands
Family names of a forgotten past
Deliver us to their present
For these surnames are here to last

Sunrises and sunsets have so greeted
Many a morn...

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Where did all those black people go in Black History such as W.E.B Dubois, 
George Washington Carver, Sojourner Truth,and many more that came before.
      Why have their families disappear?
When you search their genealogy, their surnames are found.
   ...

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What’s in my name? It’s Candler,
A name as old as English tax.
If you’re of English descent, yours may be too.
Let us take a short trip back.

The Magna Carta united Englishmen,
But created a need for government.
Now, that government required some funding,
So, across the land, tax collectors...

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My mama always told me that
"Hicks in the sticks"
was a thing way back when.
Timeless as mortar and bricks.

But who woulda thought
that someday she'd marry one?
Bet she didn't say hick no more,
her name itself was now and pun.

I'd always be jealous of other kids
and their long...

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Last Name, First Name (Nom Prénom)

To address a person by their surname,
Rather than their given shows disrespect,
Attests, this is vulgar and profane
To the individual referenced.

If the intent is to use the latter,
Say Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms. prior,
Be courteous and display good manners;
Refined behaviours will...

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International relations clerk on duty enters
In her hand is a list of nations from Africa
One by one she shouts out their surnames

The assembly monitors gives her feedback
confirming presence or absence that day

Nations present she gives a golden ribbon
The ones absent she paints with red crayon
Punctuated...

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Walter Branham, a retired teacher, and his wife Victoria went to Applebee’s, the chain restaurant, for lunch one day last week. First time they had gone there. Usually they go to an ethnic restaurant but Victoria wanted a salad. Walt as always was obliging.

The restaurant...

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The holders of custom and bearings
The teachers of manners and sayings 
The steerers of the leanings and standings
The givers of surnames and blessings
The fabric that makes priests and kings 
Are fathers in their fatherhood and fathering 

You are both shield and guide
In whom sons and...

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The people who only eat lettuce
and nibble some nuts from a bowl,
are totally, utterly tiresome;
this ‘smugger-than-thou’ rigmarole.

But me? I am rather old fashioned
and faddy foods don’t pass my lips.
I’ll tell you one thing that I fancy,
a juicy great steak – and some chips.

I like a...

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Great traditional bavila priest,
When you hear about the great 
traditional bavila priest called
          " Kasongo Nguni" 
from bahinga clan, 
Who worked for the bavila kingdom 
On the reign  of  King Musabwa 
    ...

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MARRIAGES 

Governor Gerry Brown  marries Amanda Rice
She becomes Amanda Brown-Rice  -  look!   
David Soul and  Marguerita  Cook?  She’s become  a Soul-Cook 
Stephen Fry and Amanda Fish  --  the Fry-Fish  couple  - ...

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This is a poem about surnames,
Surnames we could hear any day.
How their name was derived
From how they survived,
Their occupation will give them away.

ARCHER is the first one,
Shooting his arrows straight and true.
BAKER is the next one.
They make your bread for you.

Let's not forget the BREWER
Beer...

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.
Welcome to Kenya,
Where prisons make criminals more than not.
Where justice is read off papers na sio za constitution.
Where economy is simply taking money from one class to feed another one.
Where,
If the phonetics of our surnames don't click then bullets may,
Where,
Sheria ina mkono mrefu,
Uliza waswahili maanake.
Where,
Imebidi...

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WISE ASS

You know this person!
In middle school his perfect sarcasm
seems funny and bold and  wise to our ears, 
makes adults and institutions seem hopelessly
inept, disingenuous, insecure 
By high school, however, his wise ass
negativity wins lots of first dates but
never real girlfriends, even the bad...

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