Hicks In the Sticks

My mama always told me that "Hicks in the sticks" was a thing way back when. Timeless as mortar and bricks. But who woulda thought that someday she'd marry one? Bet she didn't say hick no more, her name itself was now and pun. I'd always be jealous of other kids and their long and extravagant surnames. Mine might as well a cough or a sneeze, p'raps I'll change it if I ever come to fame! Sure ain't no Guadalajara or Lamoureux. Truth be told It'd sound more interesting to just call me Mr. So 'n' So. If you look far enough down the family line you'll find the spelling changes... they ditch the C-K-S. Can you believe that my already minuscule name used to be a whole two letters less? It's a running joke at work that it sounds more appealing to the opposite sex. So if I run into someone I like I'll be like "Call me Mr. Hicks... with an X". But I guess I'm stuck with it 'til the day they put me in the ground. I'll be a "Hicks in the sticks" to you if y' fancy. What's all this fuss about a sound? NOTE: I wanted to write something reminiscent of Jack Ellison's quirky humor.