Best Stunts Poems
Sometimes I just go crazy
Trying to give my kid his medicine
You have to be some kind of genius
You know, like Thomas Edison?
And I've tried almost everything
From the airplane to the train
But he always sees it coming
And the teardrops fall like rain
I try to tell him, "It's good for you"
He just tightens his lips and grunts
Or knocks the spoon out of my hand
Just another of his crazy stunts
Now my kid is only four years old
And when I tell him it will make him better
He says, "Have your people call my people,
And print it in the form of a letter"
And Mary Poppins lied to us all
When she told us what to do
"A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down"
Well, that just simply isn't true
Categories:
stunts, funny
Form:
Rhyme
Of all the mammals living on the land,
the elephant is largest of that kind.
But if I were an elephant, I’d show
the largest also were my heart and mind!
If I could be this beast, here’s what I know:
I’m not some made-up Dumbo that can fly.
I socialize; I grumble, and I need
a jumbo size of tissues when I cry!
My hearing is superb, but did you know
that I can even listen with my feet?
I put my trunk down by my feet and hear
vibrations, and that’s one astounding FEAT.
It’s obvious I’m strong. My trunk alone
has forty-thousand muscles, and guess what?
I’ll wrap my trunk around you, for BIG LOVE
means I’ll be giving great big hugs a LOT.
I cannot see too well. Nor can I jump,
but with my padded feet, I softly walk,
I am so skilled, for peanuts I won’t work!
But first I need to teach myself to talk!
Because if I can talk, I’ll speak out for
my fellow elephants endangered by
the foolishness and cruelty of those
who harm us when we’re in such short supply!
We’re also more than stunts inside a tent.
And though our skin’s as thick as an old shoe,
we have compassion, and we mourn our dead.
As feeling creatures, we should have rights too!
Now even though we elephants are huge,
and probably I weigh at least a ton,
I love to laugh and play! Climb on my back
and take a ride. You’ll see that I am fun.
I hope you see that I’m a lot like you.
So take care with your fat jokes around me
because it’s very true what people say.
I now have got amazing memory!
12/10/16
Categories:
stunts, animal,
Form:
Quatrain
The line of people out the door.
The queue that snaked around the floor.
The building's sleek art deco style.
The carpets' faded plush red pile.
The "Coming Soon" in convex frames.
The "Showing Now" and big star names.
The James Bond pose in poster shots.
The tickets from the kiosk slots.
The heavy doors that often creaked.
The seats on springs that always squeaked.
The fan shaped lights along the side.
The screen that stretched up high and wide.
The smoke that swirled inside the beam.
The shapes and sounds of Pearl And Dean.
The adverts that had overrun.
The trailers for the films to come.
The feature that would come on first.
The sudden pangs of extreme thirst.
The usherette's cool ice cream stint.
The fancy names like Midnight Mint.
The expectations in the place.
The action of the opening chase.
The talking scenes that went nowhere.
The plastic cup beneath my chair.
The glance at watches in poor light.
The stunts and guns and final fight.
The seats that sprung as credits rolled.
The exit doors and night time cold.
Categories:
stunts, childhood, film, memory,
Form:
Rhyme
bonsai trees
despotic rule stunts
liberty
Placed 2nd
Categories:
stunts, tree,
Form:
Haiku
I cannot stop
writing about you my Love.
You are more than prose and poetry,
beyond inked imagery.
Pen and paper cannot capture your creed my Love.
I can't just stop
singing about you my Love;
You are more than moonlight melodies,
and resounding rhapsodies.
Lyrical stunts are not enough to spot your pattern my love.
I cannot stop
thinking about you my Love,
You are inscribed in my whole heart,
as my indelible art;
life's raging flood cannot erase you my Love.
Poetry, O poetry my love!
You make me hear the twilight songs of stars,
and take me beyond the brightest blue...
bear me forever on the wings of words my love!
Categories:
stunts, addiction, beauty, best friend,
Form:
Lyric
And you will know me by the trail of dead,
the whistle of wind in cutthroat pipes,
the jolly japes and spring heeled capers
in the sepia pulp of the Sunday papers
and in all the Jack Tar bilge in your head,
for you will know me by the trail of dead.
And you will know me by the trail of dead
the gory tales of bright crimson stripes.
the intestinal spool of viscera and gutting,
the slashing swipe of steel blades cutting,
and the opening wounds awash with red,
for you will know me by the trail of dead.
And you will know me by the trail of dead,
the love-a-duck and strike-me-blind,
the dear boss letters and cunning stunts,
the hunter or hunted in Whitechapel hunts,
and the feverish sweats in every bed,
for you will know me by the trail of dead.
And you will know me by the trail of dead,
the buckle-my-shoe and daily grind,
the Juwes and gin and pea soup nights,
the whore flesh slaughter and ghastly sights,
and the legends of all I did and said,
for you will know me by the trail of dead.
Categories:
stunts, allegory, death, history, people,
Form:
Verse
I stopped combing my heart
So my feelings could lock up
And I’d be able to speak of real bliss
Then wrap my love around how unlike
The others you drew no boundaries
But still you knew who you want
And I didn’t have to pull any stunts
Or play these games
That we all play when the days
Turn to night and her smile
Shines so bright
I’m enamoured
Losing all my power
But I don’t need this
Lie to steal this kiss
And I don’t have to lie
Or invent moments that
Speak of real bliss
Or wish that she was another
Cause she’s the other
I wished they all were
The games I used to stir
My pot of lies
And tries to be the man
I’m not ready to be
You had the foresight to see
That soon I’ll be the man
Who speaks of real bliss
And wants to give you kids
Living the best life
You’ll ever know
We’ll grow together
Maybe even old
A weathered couple
Reminiscing about that Tuesday night
We had our last first kiss
The night I learned how
To speak of real bliss.
Categories:
stunts, happiness, love, night, games,
Form:
I'm making this brief
to spare you the grief
of having to scroll even once
You see by the title
that this here recital
ain't one of my long-winded stunts
It's not a long poem
there's no need to roam
all over the place for your fix
If rhythm's your need
you'll be happy indeed
that I tossed this one into the mix
Now I'm almost done
and I hope you had fun
with this humorous roadside attraction
So please hurry back
for a quick rhyming snack
and eat to your sweet satisfaction
3/10/19
Categories:
stunts, happy, humor, light,
Form:
Rhyme
Autumn
Autumn greets summer on a gusty breeze
Waves farewell as she spins down the sidewalks
Laughs with delight as northern lights she sees
Finds one final bouquet of the sweet phlox
Waves farewell as she spins down the sidewalks
In the early dusk she tastes the first frost
Finds one final bouquet of the sweet phlox
Weaves her first spell before the hoarfrost
In the early dusk she tastes the first frost
Autumn yawns as early darkness stunts her days
Weaves her magic spell before the hoarfrost
Beneath the amber moon’s song of her praise.
Autumn yawns as early darkness stunts her days
She smiles through misty hues of incensed trees
Beneath the amber moon’s songs of her praise
Wrapped in soft cloak of her finest red leaves
She smiles through misty hues of incensed trees
Laughs with delight as northern lights she sees
Wrapped in a soft cloak of her finest red leaves
Autumn greets summer on a gusty breeze
9-8-22
Contest: Autumn
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
stunts, autumn,
Form:
Pantoum
I sit on the fence
Would like to be eccentric
But don’t quite pull it off
I still cater to way too many people
Yet I’ll never become their puppet
So beware to those who
Try to pull their stunts
I don’t handle well
Being manipulated
Though I’ll applaud it
If well done
I no longer have it in me to be
That lovely little cheerful girl
The naïve type I used to be
Especially when dealing
With people who’ve been known
To try to take advantage of me
I can move on but can’t forget
I’m OK with being an acquired taste
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on July 8, 2019 for contest YOU AND YOURS, LET'S GET PERSONAL sponsored by BRIAN STRAND - RANKED 2nd
Originally posted on December 2, 2018
Categories:
stunts, confidence, courage, identity, introspection,
Form:
Free verse
Follow me to a ledge inside my mind & observe
as I leap
Many are very close to the edge but scared to jump
because they're weak
Being afraid to fall isn't the problem, it's only natural
to fear the crash
When you reach the bottom, you see yourself staring
back from a looking glass
Throw all your caution to the wind & feel the air beneath
your wings
A cage bird is free within its mind & you can hear it
when it sings
There are many things to fear in life, but fear itself is the
only cause
Don't be afraid to grow for that stunts your growth &
amplifies all your flaws
Cause & effect is natures law so it must be treated
with respect
Once I was blind to mothers' rules, but now I see
in retrospect
Have faith in self & take the leap, you just may be
caught before you fall
Once you let go, you'll see the truth, there was nothing
to fear after all
Categories:
stunts, wisdom,
Form:
Rhyme
Autumn Yawns
Autumn yawns – early darkness stunts her days
Eventide wrapped in golden umber tones
Bands of autumn hues swaddle mellow haze
Sunset sundrops sweet serenades intone.
Twilight dozes ‘neath the harvest’s birthstone
Autumn savors new frost in early dusk
Scarlet scents, aphrodisiac cologne,
Festoon icy crystals - autumnal musk.
Vesper rondeaus rustle in dry cornhusks
Scents of spice float in the warm afterglow
Autumn tastes nursery rhymes like sweet rusks
Stars keep watch in astral autumn meadows
She slips into the mellow midnight’s glow
Drowsy barcarolles bid Autumn goodnight
Harvest hectic days through cradle songs slow
Lullabies wait to croon in faded lights
Drowsy barcarolles bid Autumn goodnight
Bands of autumn hues swaddle mellow haze
Lullabies wait to croon in faded lights
Autumn yawns – early darkness stunts her days.
10-219-22
Contest: Autumn Pandoum
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger
Rhymes checked with www.rhymezone
Syllables checked with www.howmany syllables
Categories:
stunts, autumn, song,
Form:
Pantoum
Memories of happiness does have a smell
This smells of dried grass, horse and cow
- With goals
and open soul -
Amazing stunts and pirouettes in free fall
A dangerous game, jumping from the rafters
- Let the game spin
highest jump will win -
Boys and girls on the high loft
Chris kissed Lena`s warm rosy lips
- Young bliss
virgin kiss -
Hidden in the hay, the cat gave birth to three kittens
A memory from the country life
- The fairest
oh, my dearest -
17.12.2016
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Categories:
stunts, childhood, fun, happiness, kiss,
Form:
Rhyme
My Most Embarrassing Moment?
Twice I’ve entered freeways
On the ramps meant just for exits.
Lordy! How embarrassing is that?
Except nobody knew me
And with little difficulty
I remedied those situations fast!
Twice or thrice I walked into
Restrooms meant for men.
But no one saw me, or, once again,
Nobody knew me.
I got off lucky.
But there was one time
I did it at a pool.
Without my contacts in,
I might as well have just been blind.
I think the guy I walked in on was naked then.
But he did not know me (Saved again!)
Another time, at age fourteen,
I hopped around the yard, a silly teen
Sitting on a big fat ball -
Called Hippity Hop. I took a fall
In front of my new boyfriend.
I split my pants; he didn’t even tell me,
But once I learned what I had done,
That ended our romance!
I ‘m sure I pulled more stunts than that
Through all my years of school.
But being such an airhead
I simply have to say,
My most embarrassing moment -
Whatever it may be -
I don’t recall it anyway!
Categories:
stunts, emotions, growing up,
Form:
Rhyme
Prince Charles
I have read my name on a British novel written by John Doe a few times.
It begins with a crude remark which gives reference to an old friend from Dublin, then on the forth page it reads, like a catechumen phrase: "to be or not to be, that's private."
But this is not a fine way to pronounce a prince,
and again, what is private? Is it the whereabouts
of a jewel or the truth about my father's will which was
written by a gardener or the untitled notes of an eunuch who was
dethroned by a Queen?
If you study carefully you will notice a sentence that resembles
a Shakespeare quote as expressed on the third paragraph of the writer's
epilogue-- stating how unreliable my judgment can be with regards to a lady's
need. He has made a mockery of my name and we-- my father and I, Mr. Wilchoff, the writer's son, my niece, and my unrelated cousins from downtown Alabama do not fancy it.
The epilogue had been read as a preamble speech by the Queen's guard before the novel was parceled to my study. It reads with such clarity and boldness-- "Prince Charles."
It sounded weird, yet familiar. It's familiarity was that of the ending of a moral tale,
a doggerel-- like the struggle of a colored man on an Irish farm or an actor who never got an award for his stunts. I heard the sound in many different voices from the past like a dethroned queen in the Victorian age, and from the future like a critic whose intention is to corrupt my integrity...
She took a glance at me as my fingers fidgets carefully
stating how remarkable the speech and novel was, and
how it mattered to her womanhood.
I was startled at the way she pronounced each word,
how she flaunted her blonde hairs backwards and blinked
her brown eyes as my stupidity unveils.
"You have done a vain thing," I whispered.
I smiled at every opportunity I entertained,
winking my fallen brows and making a grin behind
the wrinkles on my white face. She cheered, and said
to me in absolute sincerity as if she had known no sin:
"to be or not to be, isn't private."
Categories:
stunts, humor, integrity,
Form:
Prose Poetry