I'M Your Bar Stool

I see we are open again.
It’s time to welcome old friends.
The homely, the lonely, 
they who want only
to have somewhere to place their rear ends. 

The people I bear are so glad.
The stories I hear are not bad.
Where I smell the beers
and I taste the tears 
of the sad, and they who are driven mad.

So come in, come on, come over - come over and take a seat.
I am here to help you take your mind off your feet.
All day I sit here waiting for everyone who comes.
I am your barroom bar-stool, who welcomes all your bums.

Here comes a raving beauty, this is gunna be fun.
An hour glass figure; tight blue jeans - where do those legs run?
But why has she stopped walking?
Can’t she just stop talking!
Oh no, wait - this bloke’s fat and ugly and he weighs two tonne.
Barroom stools have feelings too.
They just don’t see a pretty face,
although they love to touch the cheeks
that are in some other place -
So come in, come on, come over - come over and take a seat.
I am here to help you take your mind off your feet.
All day I sit here waiting for everyone who comes.
I am your barroom bar-stool, who welcomes all your bums.

Now here comes the girl that I’m looking for.
An hour glass figure and parts to explore.
Her blonde hair’s amazing;
I feel like hell raising,
for bar stools like you also like to score. 

The life of a bar-stool is a life worth living.
Supporting the souls who need forgiving.
I’m hoping each minute the perfect one comes,
‘cause I’m sick of tired of supporting old bums.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Proxenos Avatar
November 27, 2021 at 5:05 AM
Hilarious poem such a caring clever bar stool is destined for better younger, bums. I enjoyed how you personified this stool to make your poem come to life with its human thoughts. Thanks for the laughs Lindsay, Hugs, blessings, Jennifer
Laurie Avatar
December 4, 2021 at 9:21 PM
Hello Jennifer ... if I could only sing, but unfortunately I have a voice for newspapers. I'm pleased you got a laugh out of these lyrics Jennifer - Lindsay
Kalita Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 3:05 AM
An extremely well written juxtaposition, enjoyed from every core, splendid share!
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:31 PM
Hello there Silpika ... thank you for reading and putting up a positive comment. I do appreciate this Silpika - Lindsay
Debole Avatar
November 23, 2021 at 4:06 PM
Very unique idea of a bar stool's view of the world. Enjoyed the humor.
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:29 PM
Hello Gail ... I'm pleased you read this as a light-hearted verse based on fun - thank you Gail - Lindsay
Ball Avatar
November 22, 2021 at 4:59 AM
Too cute Lindsay. Here he is waiting for the pretty girl to sit down and along comes this fat, old, ugly guy. lol This bar stool has a few stories to tell. Good stuff as always. God Bless, JB
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:27 PM
Hello Judy ... yes, sometimes these bar stools must support a heavy load. If only they could talk; or maybe not - thank you Judy - Lindsay
Buhagiar Avatar
November 19, 2021 at 10:35 PM
This is a good idea of a novelette. You can tell individual stories of the people who sit on you. A lovely idea. ~~
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:24 PM
Hello Victor ... and boy, some of those stories would be very interesting indeed. Thanks for your comment Victor - Lindsay
Leffanta Avatar
November 17, 2021 at 9:38 AM
Enjoyed! As you know, old bums don't fall off stools as frequently as young bums! Aloha!
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:21 PM
Hello Rico ... I guess experience does count, so be careful guzzling to dizzy heights - sit tight Rico - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
November 17, 2021 at 12:11 AM
Bet they have many stories to tell Lindsay. Tom
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:19 PM
Hello Tom ... and I'll bet a few have toppled off them too Tom, after a big session - Lindsay
Lane Avatar
November 16, 2021 at 3:47 PM
What great humor, Lindsay!! From the perspective of a barstool I'd say, "Come in, come over, and have a seat on me." How have you been? It's been quite some time since I've been around, but I'm glad you're still posting. This one was a fun read!
Laurie Avatar
November 25, 2021 at 2:16 PM
Hello Lin ... I hadn't seen your name up for a while and it is good to see you back. Pleased you enjoyed this one, and I've been okay. Wish our weather would pick up though - thank you Lin - Lindsay
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