Best Snuffle Poems
Upon Awakening
I see you morning,
curling down into
my front yard
like a big golden cat
come to play.
your paws ruffle the trees
but they are only bones
clacking noisily like
.geese squabbling
making your ears twitch.
you snuffle the dried beds
wanting to rub against the lilacs
but they are sleeping within
the grey hard branches
and will not answer you.
ah but there is a rose,
sheltered from rude November
by the cottage in a quiet spot,
one last hurrah as red as berries
you curl around it and purr.
Categories:
snuffle, appreciation, beauty,
Form:
Free verse
THE OLD FART SONG
(sing to the tune of "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys")
Verse one:
Old men ain't easy to love and they're harder to mold,
so train 'em when young, girls, don't wait till their bones have turned cold.
They're slow as molasses, wear cheap reading glasses, they're hearing aids give them away,
they grumble and mumble, they bumble and stumble, what hair they have left turns to gray.
Chorus:
Ladies, don't let your husbands survive to be old men,
Their best parts get limber, their brains turn to timber,
they spend too much time letting farts.
Ladies don't let your husbands survive to be old men,
because when they're home, you will wish you're alone
and they think they have all of the smarts.
Verse two:
Old men like old stuff, ain't that some strange stuff, how antiques will make 'em feel young?
They whistle like thistles, sling advice like missiles and sing like their a**es got stung.
They're always ploying and tinker toying, they usually, always repeat:
What did you say dear? SPEAK UP NOW, DAMMIT! and, When in the hell do we eat?
Repeat Chorus
Verse three:
Old men like talkin' way more than go-walkin', but listening, well, not so much.
Don't try to change him or even "re-range" him, or mess with his habits and such.
Changes upset him, so you better let him, still think he has plenty pizazz,
or he will snuffle, kerfuffle and shuffle, doin' stuff that's a pain in the azz.
repeat chorus
Verse four
They say that old soldiers don't die, that they just fade away,
it's the same with your old man... remember each dog has his day.
Don't nickel and dime him, remember to prime him, be kind as he turns into dust.
Through thick and through thin and through silly and sin, you're together for better or bust.
FInal Chorus
Ladies, don't let your husbands survive to be old men,
let 'em be babies and let 'em be children
and let 'em be heroes again.
Ladies, don't let your husbands survive to be old men,
When they hit bottom, be thankful you got 'em,
'Cause soon enough it will all end.
Categories:
snuffle, age, love, men,
Form:
Light Verse
The piggy's in the truffle bucket
Eating all the truffles
I kick 'im in 'is snuffle-snucket,
I beat 'im with me buckles
But nothing ruffles piggy's knuckles
'e 'as to 'ave them truffles.
I write a lot of horror poems but those aren't what I've been posting at Poetry Soup (the horrors and fantasies appear in magazines and anthologies). Light verse such as "Snuffle" undoubtedly gives people a mistaken impression of what I write most, if this is all they see.
But I have always been especially fond of "Snuffle," originally written in honor of folklore author and Buddhist Darroll Pardoe, who included it in an issue of his letter substitute Pig on the Wall decades anon, and much later included in my collection Lake of the Devil: Poems of Morosity and Jest (Duck's-Foot Tree Productions, 1995) limited to 75 copies.
Categories:
snuffle, animal, earth, farm, food,
Form:
Rhyme
The Country District Nurse
If you listened to the gossip down the street or at the mall,
That someone had been hurt, or had a fall,
You could bet your boots that she was there
With her navy blue bag, and her hat on her hair
Right up the front with those who did care,
Giving attention, and helpful to all.
She had to get her facts right so she could tell it true
How it happened, what was where, and who was who.
Opening her pad she’d begin to write
Of all she had heard and saw at the site
She had to make sure that she recorded it right
For it could mean a lot to you.
She retired; the government said the service now not needed,
But it did not stop her giving to her district, for she heeded
Their calls, when the doctor was far away
In the city, at the clinic every day’,
He personally paid his Nurse to stay
To continue the service, unimpeded.
When she got older and with fading sight
She did not stop caring to turn wrong into right
Whether around the corner or across the park
She knew which dog was worse than its bark,
And if you weren’t home until well after dark,
She would keep her light burning all night.
Her happy cheerful nature is no longer seen in town
When they seek her for advice, she can’t be found.
Her memory remains with the children, now grown,
As if they snuffle along with a cough and a groan,
With no nursing service like the one they had known,
They drive to the clinic; city bound.
©
Categories:
snuffle, caregiving, dedication, devotion, friendship,
Form:
Rhyme
I ache from my nose to my knees;
I sniffle and snuffle and wheeze.
A small tot of rum
might settle my tum,
but what should I take for a sneeze?
~
Categories:
snuffle, funny, recovery from..., sympathy,
Form:
Limerick
My favorite fruit is the onion.
That might sound silly, to you,
But I find it simply astounding
What the humble Allium cepa can do.
I've seen it bring grown men to tears--
Men far to manly to cry.
"It's only the onion," they shamefully claim,
As they sniffle and snuffle, and mop at their eyes.
If someone is giving you trouble;
If they constantly get in your face,
Eat an onion a day; that will keep them away,
And stop their habitual cramping your space.
Now, peaches are peachy, but fuzzy,
And apples delicious, it's true,
But my favorite fruit is the onion--
I'll send a bouquet of green onions to you.
Categories:
snuffle, food, children, funny, fruit,
Form:
MA headline in the red tops,
Tabloid front pages as well,
A story the media vied
To be the first to tell.
A Revolution in medicine,
Really something very big,
The first time a human
Received the heart of a pig.
A little genetic engineering
Was all they would need
And so with care they bred
A pig of a suitable breed.
They took time and effort
So that they could prepare
For a successful procedure
And after surgery care.
He got a new life
His dreams came true
Once again he was able
To do things he used to do.
Only one slight problem,
In trees he would start to snuffle,
And, going down on all fours
He’d start to hunt for truffle.
Categories:
snuffle, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
***Crazy Menagerie***
I definitely bit off more than I could chew,
when I came a-running to my friend's rescue
He said it was no big deal, a real snooze actually
to just please, please look after his cutie menagerie
He said everything was pretty much self-explanatory
just feel at home, and relax...he sure was being sneaky!
I thought the word "menagerie" was just an exaggeration,
but goodness me, I almost fainted when I was greeted by a python!
He just lay there by the foyer, quite snug as a bug on the rug
So I carefully stepped over it, and planned to make tea for my mug
I headed to the kitchen, when I heard something go squeak! squeak!
What was that? I wondered, then I let out a bloodcurdling shriek!
It flew right over my head, yikes, another one got me all panicky
My eyes bugged out as I realized that he had a couple of paniki*!!
I went rushing out the kitchen and ran straight into an aquarium
No cool fishies here, just mousies out of equilibrium
They were jumping up and down now, trying to escape
when I heard a suspicious grunt, it sounded like an ape!!
I was so scared to search for it, but curiosity won out
So I opened doors and cabinets, when I ran smack into a snout!
Ewwwww, I just realized that I just kissed an ugly pig!
I then remembered he kept one to go on truffle digs!
He said he had a cat though? Where were the common pets?
Ah, there it is; here, kitty, kitty, when I saw it was a ferret!
It was doing this weird dance, it hopped then bumped into me
I wigged out, then stepped right on the tail of that poor kitty!!
It lunged at me and I fell back onto aquarium glass
of course it had to teeter totter and I was too late, alas!!
It just hit the marble floor, then I heard that sickening crash
Mousies all over me!!! Shook my head till I got whiplash
The cat was now scratching me, I was screaming 'till my throat was sore,
This was a total nightmare, that snake was blocking that damn door!!
My eyes were like leaking faucets, I had thick tears, I didn't know?
When I wiped off my cheeks, I found out it was icky guano!!
Boohoo, sniffle, snuffle--am I never getting out of here?!?
Dang Chris says he'll be back in a week, will just drown myself in beer.
* paniki=bats
** for Sharon's Pet-sit Panics contest
Categories:
snuffle, adventure, animals, funnycat, me,
Form:
Rhyme
Since morning I’m calling you, no answer!
Who’s the hell that has kept you busy, indifferent?
How could you forget to wish me damn lover?
The roses are drying up waiting for you, nonchalant!
Please pick up the phone, you damn betrayer,
At least you could act of remembering this day, pretender!
Putting on your once gifted gown
I’m watching the clock again and again
You ought to come by this time
I’m bored, feeling fully dejected!
I can still remember, you used to meet me
After office, just at seven without fail
Those days have gone, now we’re married
The love rose dries up without your care
I’m the only part that remained the similar.
Gardening whole day, I make roses bloom
You go to office, I remained home alone
I send you daily lunch box, packed with roses
The thorns daily reddens me, none to care, or notice
At night when you try to make pokerfaced love
I feel pain on my aching, blooded finger.
Have you ever noticed my black circled eyes?
When you are done, you snuffle soundly
My haunted love keeps me awaken
In the morning you’re always at a rush
The whole day passes by waiting….
The dusk moon rises always but you, only at fortnight
While returning home, you stop by at friends’ bar
Ignoring someone is waiting at home, with dinner
At midnight you return home concluding all energy
Bare, emotionless and adopting a robotic panache.
Categories:
snuffle, anniversary, betrayal, change, depression,
Form:
Vaasokht
The Labradoodle
It’s clear that the scamp is a Poodle
By its frolicsome dabble and doodle
But add a big part
Of the Labrador’s heart
And you’ve got the whole kit and caboodle
The Labrador Retriever (Lab)
The Lab a friend gave to his daughter
Had a chronic aversion to water
He’d cling to the shore
Like a rug to the floor
To avoid making waves like he oughter
The Lagotto Romagnolo
It caused quite a local kerfuffle
When he called a potato a truffle*
By the time it was done
A committee of one
Went and cancelled his license to snuffle
(*known for their skill at finding truffles)
The Leonberger
There are dogs that are bigger than these
Like some Mastiffs and Great Pyrenees
But few are more stately
Or admired more greatly
For their grace and perpetual ease
The Lhasa Apso
Just repeat: Lhasa apso not ipso
That’s a facto: I’m sharing this tip so
You don’t make a flub
With the whole Lhasa Club
While they contemplate your membership so
The Maltese
I once knew a Maltese named Tawny
Who was quick and ill-tempered and scrawny
While protecting a crumb
Nearly took off my thumb
Now he sleeps with the fish in the Suwannee
The Mastiff
The Mastiff’s a glorious sight
With a name that exemplifies might
Now imagine this house
The size of a mouse
A “toy mastiff” just doesn’t sound right
The Mutt
A mutt may show up with a rat
Do some terrible things to your hat
But he’s happy for sure
Just to roll in manure
And so grateful that he’s not a cat
The Newfoundland (Newfie)
One day on the nearby horizon
He encountered an ornery bison*
And though it was large
The Newfie took charge
Mattered not what the difference in size in
The Norwegian Elkhound
Look honey, look what I found!
It’s an orphaned Norwegian elkhound!
He’ll be easy to raise
With some love and some praise
And a pasture that serves as a pound
Categories:
snuffle, animal, cute, dog, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Oh, noble beast, you stand before me muscles quivering in fright
wanting nothing more than to flee. Unable to break or jump the
bars, you blow steam from flaring nostrils and paw the ground.
Once you ran free as the wind racing with it through canyons and
climbing high up the steep slopes you rear in pure joy at the top.
Little do you know you have captured a heart, the heart of a man
who desires to own you. That soon he will trap you and enslave you.
Soon you will be ripped from your herd forced to leave your mares
and foals unprotected. No longer free to roam the wild ranges.
Run down until your flanks heaved with exhaustion and the sweat
soaked your skin. Lassoed and dragged to this corral. Now you swing
your hip in warning for none to approach you. The man sits himself
down and quietly waits until curiosity finally wins and cautiously you
draw closer and snuffle his scent snorting as hastily you back away.
Several days pass now you take food from his hand and allow his touch.
Yet still you gaze far off to the valleys and I can see your longing to
be there free again. I take your side against my man pleading with him
that it would be wrong to enslave this fiery spirit of yours. His place is
not here see how he pines for freedom and his herd. Reluctantly her
man agreed and swung wide open the corral gate startled the horse
stared out then bucking he flew out to freedom yet shortly he returned
and put his head on the man's neck as if to say thanks.
He returned to his herd and fought off an intruder who had moved in.
Now you might think this the end of the tale but oh no it is not.
That winter was very harsh new foals found it hard to cope and often
perished. The stallion remembered the man and drove his favourite mare
to his place placing her in his care only just in time as she foaled that
night in the worst blizzard in living memory. The stallion returned to the rest
of his herd and brought them too down near the homestead and so a lasting
friendship was formed with both enjoying their freedom and yet also sharing
with each other.
Categories:
snuffle, friendship, horse,
Form:
Epic
Instead of walking briskly, I often shuffle:
Watching TV I’ll cough, sniffle and snuffle:
This riles my wife and creates a kerfuffle,
Then flipping channels - her feathers I ruffle!
Such are the things that please me now!
Will nap in the chair, till dinner is late:
Or eat peas from my knife: to aggravate.
After jay walking, the motorist I berate!
Will say what I think; tell others straight
What’s on my mind, which makes some irate!
But they’re the things that please me now!
I lecture my children - it’s something they hate:
Bore them with old tales I repeatedly relate,
It drives them to tears, so they often state,
Or makes them angry! I love to infuriate!
It’s more of what pleases me now!
Slurp my coffee and saucer my tea ;
Dunk my biscuits when in company;
Will openly burp and quite often loudly,
Which makes others blush by acting badly,
Just doing a few things that please me now!
When my wife calls: I’m not to be found,
Should she call louder? I hear nary a sound!
Offer unwanted opinions that shock and astound,
Argue for hours, stubbornly standing my ground,
Sure these are things what please me now!
But when day is done: I head off to bed,
Though never admit to things I’ve done or said
As tomorrow might be too late - I could be dead,
Will mumble I’m sorry for the dance she’s been led,
That’s the time for what best pleases me now!
Rhymer November 27th, 2016.
Categories:
snuffle, humorous,
Form:
Narrative
The Flamenco Dancer and The Bull
The acoustics of your snuffle
is an absolution
of a descending staccato
in an E chord.
Behold, my lancing third,
an urgency to trick you
with my jalapeño-colored capote,
to mask the stains of your blood
as it oozes, while I thrust
these Romani banderillas
in your neck.
Tease me with impulsive pretence
of your Berber-like invincibility,
while I magnify
your monotonous habits,
triggering the sequel
with the mutiny of these senses
in a most soulful manner.
Beware, my gitano-inspired estoque,
hidden and within a rhythmic beat cycle
in sync with a Moorish chant,
while my arms obliquely stretched
plunging to your bosom,
as I dare to move my hips
in a sultry fashion, to anchor it
in your Andalusian-unceasing being,
Oh! My Iberian-bred tragedy,
consummating my tableau
with your immortal inexistence.
Categories:
snuffle, conflict,
Form:
Ballad
I divided my tears into section
With each drop, with each snuffle
With each tissue: I thread
I remembering the good times we shared
Yesterday, was your birthday
today: it’s my revelation: I have taken
another course in my life: unlike the blackbird
I once encounter
Who were entangled with kite strings
high in the branch of a tree
his scary beaded eyes, his Okalee frightening sounds
His destiny had lies in the hands that set him free
I remember standing there for a moment
and wondered, what would this bird ever do for me
if I set him free
however, as we all know God blessed heroes
that day I was his hero
Today he is my revelation.
I never thought of that bird until this morning
I suppose he is long gone,
Since, the lifespan of a bird is short
But, I would always remember that little black bird
entangled in the mahogany tree: who taught me
the true meaning of empathy
?? ???
Categories:
snuffle, allegory, assonance, change, character,
Form:
Concrete
The Gentle Giant
I can Breathe
How many time have my black brothers and
Sisters divided theirs tears Into Sections
With each drop, with each snuffle
With each tissue: we thread: as we bled to death
The chanting will echoed, the violent will rise
the barricade will followed: then someone will die.
Black Lives Matters: Black lives matters
Are we really free?
Are we still running from the police?
They is no such thing as equal rights
Those are upright and downright lies:
No justice no peace: said you mama,
So heartless said your sister,
I will killed them said my brothers
As I compose this piece, racism is another kind
Of deadly disease: without a lease, without a cure:
As I stay here and listen to
the helicopter circling the neighborhood
All I can think of is bad actions, deadly reactions
Everybody stay calm, everybody stay down
Life isn’t fair,
chanted the big crowd in Trafalgar Square:
1 Corinthians 15:54, 55:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
Death only uses violence:
An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”
? Mahatma Gandhi
In the beginning
There were Adam and Eve
There was kindness,
and there was peace:
Everyone smiles in the same language
Not everyone hurts the same way:
Goodbye my brother .R.I.P
A time for demonstrating, a time to showed leadership
a time to be happy, a time to be sad,
A time to pull the trigger, a time to seize fire
A time for karma, a time for relaxing while the night calms
Rest in Peace my brother: George Floyd
Racism, George Floyd, riots, injustice, Kindness, Evil
Categories:
snuffle, anger, corruption, courage, environment,
Form:
Dramatic Verse