A Few Things That Please Me Now

Instead of walking briskly, I often shuffle: Watching TV I’ll cough, sniffle and snuffle: This riles my wife and creates a kerfuffle, Then flipping channels - her feathers I ruffle! Such are the things that please me now! Will nap in the chair, till dinner is late: Or eat peas from my knife: to aggravate. After jay walking, the motorist I berate! Will say what I think; tell others straight What’s on my mind, which makes some irate! But they’re the things that please me now! I lecture my children - it’s something they hate: Bore them with old tales I repeatedly relate, It drives them to tears, so they often state, Or makes them angry! I love to infuriate! It’s more of what pleases me now! Slurp my coffee and saucer my tea ; Dunk my biscuits when in company; Will openly burp and quite often loudly, Which makes others blush by acting badly, Just doing a few things that please me now! When my wife calls: I’m not to be found, Should she call louder? I hear nary a sound! Offer unwanted opinions that shock and astound, Argue for hours, stubbornly standing my ground, Sure these are things what please me now! But when day is done: I head off to bed, Though never admit to things I’ve done or said As tomorrow might be too late - I could be dead, Will mumble I’m sorry for the dance she’s been led, That’s the time for what best pleases me now! Rhymer November 27th, 2016.