Best Slob Poems

There was once a lazy drunkard named Bob
He's so idle he's nicknamed the fat slob
By the pool he lays
In a drunken daze
He just drinks and...

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Some folks smile when I say I’m a writer
Some smirk, suggesting I should get a job
My stories and poems make our days brighter
Fantasy often, and,...

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When you wear a dirty shirt,
You're a book getting judged by its cover.
People think you're really poor, or nutty,
Or that you have a menial job.
Or...

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I worked in an Insurance office and loved my job
But the manager was an idle fat slob
He’d put in expenses sheets for work he hadn’t...

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Those BURMA SHAVE signs used to give us kids something to do,
As down the highways and byways in our 1935 Dodge we flew!
The chef-d'oeuvre from...

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I bent down to pick up a penny from the frozen ground.
I could smell myself, the acrid stench of sweat and soot,
the taint of vapored...

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Two Words
 
Dream
Scheme

Beam
Team

Shout
Pout

Duel
Shot

Life
Death

Brain
Drain

Stupid
Cupid

Dumb
Numb

Rum
Thumb

Prosecute
Electrocute

Einstein
Infinity

Immigrant
Us

Atom
Bomb

Strength
Weakness

Love
Hurt 

Fate
Destiny

God
Cosmos

Lucifer
Lost

Passion
Torpid

Feelings
Flatline

Politician
Huckster

Glorious
Despicable

Moon
Mars

Space 
Race

Beguile
Style

Truth
Lie

Cake
Pie

Bicycle
Tricycle

Car
Jar

Balloon
Burst

First
Last

Lust
Like

Fist
Fight

Right
Write

Left
Deft

Genius
Idiot

Manners
Rude

Give
Take

Rate
Deflate 

Washington
Jefferson

Hamilton
Burr

Trump
Nixon

Hitler
Wotan

Karloff
Lugosi

Frankenstein
Dracula

Foot
Fall

Think
Blink

Popcorn
Unicorn

Coffin
Fly

Fish
Fry

Good
Bad

Think
Drink

Smile
Scowl

Teeth
Towel

Grimace
Ace

Lash
Bash

Date
Hate

Hurry
Wait

Freeze
Animate

Brave
Wave

Holocaust
Heydrich

Fool
Drool

Slob
Blob

Dead
Undead

Alive
Thrive

Evolution
Revolution

Vampire
Umpire

Wire
Dire

Flour
Flower

Alien
Robot

Klaatu
Gort

Tower
Power

Rush
Hour

Talk
Walk

Hysterical
Empirical

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved
July 8, 2018 (Short-Form Free Verse)...

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Time and events chisel and shape our lives,
an unknown sculptor blue prints your life plan,
a knock here, a cut there, we think ‘not fair’
we journey...

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You get on a train and search for a seat,

To take the pain away from your feet,

You couldn’t care less about whoever you nudge,

You find...

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My porch must be miserable
Full of empty boxes 
Thanks to Amazon’s daily deliveries

I had not noticed until today
But it is unbelievably noticeable
I wish the delivery...

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One Day

Morning        Dew
Me               You
Work...

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Tim was the new judge in Deadwood Flat
Not really qualified, just a rancher at that
He first case was of the outlaw, Horace Slade
Caught red handed...

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Do you have a clue,
What that person sitting on the curb is going through,?
Did you give him a smile, wave, or even say hello,?
Or, did...

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Another day without a dollar.
Another day, I’m not a scholar.
Makes me yell, scream and holler.
Another day without a dollar.

Another day, not one red cent.
Another day,...

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When I think of what I’m worth
I think of nothing more than dirt
I think of how small our world is
And how we mean nothing, nothing...

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