Farewell, You Slob

Goodbye our very good best friend, we hate to see you go We hope that you remember us and visit us below And maybe you'll drop by to say how much you miss us so That's when we'll call Security in case you want to know We hear you have the most rad office on the fourth floor high You're going to have a better view, you're learning how to fly You know that we have faith in you though we can't tell you why That's why we had to pay HR to give you one more try We hope that you achieve your dreams of stardom, wealth, and power You needn't be the least concerned, they pay us by the hour The time we had with you dear friend was like a fragrant flower A flower that died because this year you never took a shower We wish you now farewell, good luck, there's just one thing we lack Another person, hopefully, to pick up all your slack And should you fail in your new job because you are a hack Our greatest wish is this, you slob, WE HOPE THAT YOU COME BACK!