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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required I don’t run with the mob ... the mosh-pit, gossip crowd End of message Stop! Just wanna hip you to this fact, right off the top I’m a clean living woman, the mop-and-pail type gal I know how to swing a mean vocal mop, don’t need no lip help to knuckle swab I can empty my own pity-pot bucket, these knees and elbows know how to goody tear sweat cut it So trust me when I say, I knew what I was getting into from the very first date I married a loveable lazy man, who looks like a sweet chocolate Ralph Kramden An Adonis, he ain’t ... no, but he got a lot of belly pillow loving tho’ He’s a Lazy-E-Boy kinda man, will do less as he can (except when it come to loving me, of course) Always works from a sitting position; early on in life, he made a bus-driving career decision Big L is a top money-shrewd mover, low-debt risk jelly-shaker dressy guy — He won’t lift an elephant finger, unless you give him a good reason why But, in the comfort of his castle, he’s a Slob king ... this I’d admit Never picks up a thing, after he has slovenly dropped it Takes a rest like a hibernating bear, in his huge, cavernous recliner Snoozes with a snack bag cuddled near, with a few chips ready to be dipped There’s a trail of yesterday dishes on each table that he passes He often REM tells me, I’m his dream Missus before he wakes up ... And starts ear rubbing me with honey passion words dripping like molasses Some say he’s a slob, others say he’s the Blob I don’t listen to them — they just a bunch of Ratpack cheesers, jealous-hearted lip mob All I know is that I’m clean happily married into it, every fault ... every flaw And I love every Jacuzzi moment I’m blessed to get Some of my ex-friends say Big L is a bum blob food stain Other former friends say my slob king is a lot of effort to neatly maintain But I don’t mind, cuz when he gives me good maid service pillow pleasure, I kick the bucket into the mop closet Then for good measure, I let Big L have all of me he can get And after all the domestic labor pain, I got rewarded for being a faithful Alice "L" Kramden Because today, when I came home, the whole house was spotlessly cleaned ... In that wondrous moment, I joyously felt that being married to the king Slob and the princely Blob was win-win And Big L had a polished sparkle in his grin
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