Best Sea Captain Poems
It was not a dark and stormy night and the
captain was not on the deck of his ship.
He was at the old Spanish Inn at a table
by himself. I asked him what he was eating.
He said, "Tuna on rye, coleslaw and a mug
of beer." He was furiously writing something
on a paper napkin.
"When it's not a dark and stormy night," I
asked, "and you're not on the deck of your
ship, do you often come to this old Spanish
Inn and sit at this table?" 'Though he was
busy eating his tuna on rye, coleslaw and
sipping his mug of beer, he replied that he
liked to sit here and write.
"And, what will you do when you retire?"
I asked.
"If it's not a dark and stormy night, and I'm
not on the deck of my ship, I'll probably
come to this old Spanish Inn and sit at this
table by myself and order tuna on rye, coleslaw
and a mug of beer. Then I'll probably sit and
write for awhile. Here's one I wrote:
It was not a dark and stormy night, and I was
not on the deck of my ship. I had come to the
old Spanish Inn to sit by myself and write at
a little Spanish wooden table. I had just
ordered tuna on rye when the waitress asked
me what I was doing. I told her I was retiring
and had come to this inn to sit and write
poetry, repetends mostly.
I'm a sea captain!
Don't need a microphone !
I watched you take a back spin
With the skills I've honed
You pre picked your pansy pearl
Thought I didn't know it?
You presented your gargantuan
giggly girl
But didn't expect the Floating Poet
To the fart scoundrel of snoot port
Who saw the need was dire
Had the art counsel of Beaufort
Promise 2nd and 3rd to out of town
liars
(along with money and nice hotel
rooms)
It was a nice thing you did for her
The unethical proposition
She was the winner the judges
concur
But it was a liars competition
these are the last words you'll hear
From me there's no protest
But I'd like to see appear
An honest liars contest
Since it had nothing to do with luck
Let these words forever harass
cause I think you all suck
and you can take this cheap kazoo
you gave me and shove it up
your................
Night and day night n day now eating his bread and slops
a quiet demented dreaming dreams of sea and soft skies
But how big the seas of thought run still in the captain's sleep
a mediterranean ships cabin of sleep rocked to the sea beat in his ears
Over what blue whaled waves does he sail in a rainbow hail of flying-fishes
he can still see the ocean from his bed where he just lies
Lying he there now till the sky goes out and the sea stops
let us dust the china, feed the canary and sweep the drawing-room floor
In a Mediterranean blue cabin of sleep rocked to the sea beat in his ears
what big seas of dreams run in the Captain's sleep
over what blue whaled waves does he sail in a rainbow hail of flying-fishes
he can see the Atlantic from his bed where he now lies
night and day night and day eating his bread and slops
the quiet cripple dreaming staring at the sea and the skies
he will lie here till the sky goes out and the sea stops
Fall from Grace.
From sun tanned hero to zero the unthinkable happen, the captain
on a 14 story liner hit a rock. Her captain lost his marbles, didn’t
know what to do next, shell chocked his world and dreams had
come to an abrupt end. What followed show us a man not in charge
of his own faculties, he went down to the bar and ordered a drink,
this while the crew was putting on life belts ready to leave the ship.
Eventually the master walked on deck more like a zombie without
the faintest idea of what to do next. Since he didn’t know what to
do and the ship was listing he joined a life boat, ashore it worried
him that his socks were wet, he might catch a cold. Is that an action
of a sane man? All he wanted to do thereafter was to go home go
to sleep, wake up next morning and it all had been a bad dream.
It was not. When command was expected of him, he failed and will
never sail on a ship again. In Italy people are ashamed of him it is like
he has let them down. How lucky we are that few of us are called
upon to do the right thing in time of adversity.