I'M a Sea Captain, Don'T Need a Microphone

I'm a sea captain! Don't need a microphone ! I watched you take a back spin With the skills I've honed You pre picked your pansy pearl Thought I didn't know it? You presented your gargantuan giggly girl But didn't expect the Floating Poet To the fart scoundrel of snoot port Who saw the need was dire Had the art counsel of Beaufort Promise 2nd and 3rd to out of town liars (along with money and nice hotel rooms) It was a nice thing you did for her The unethical proposition She was the winner the judges concur But it was a liars competition these are the last words you'll hear From me there's no protest But I'd like to see appear An honest liars contest Since it had nothing to do with luck Let these words forever harass cause I think you all suck and you can take this cheap kazoo you gave me and shove it up your................