Best Ratchet Poems

$hawty Got $wag

Shawty got swag,
Shawty mad dope.
Face all cheesin’,
She real turned up.
Goin’ to da club,
She steppin' wit her peeps,
Lookin’ so ratchet,
She’s straight up hoochie.

No racks...

Read more of this work...

(Innuendo -- Pigs)

All around are sticks and stone
Feel God's loving arms around you
-----At last, I am redeemed-----

A feast of my soul, you shall receive
A cake...

Read more of this work...

Wake up fresh in the morning, free from daytime's infections
   Splash a pot of coffee on your pristine complexion  

Rev up your...

Read more of this work...

I wasn't completely sure who I just was, so 
I counted off three-chimes of the bell in the
clock tower.... I'm out late.... Nighthawks swoop
and Crickets...

Read more of this work...

I have some favorite tools I use,
Whenever I ply my trade, 
From the hammer in my leather pouch, 
To the retractable cutting blade.

I also love...

Read more of this work...

I had a Head Nurse that was just born mean
The ugliest woman I'd ever seen
A voice like sharp ice
Never could be nice 
She made old...

Read more of this work...

hi I'm Baxter Belknap Mandible IV
the Ninth Earl of Burneydick
I'll be heading your inner assault team
would you like the wine list
we have a nice Retaliation...

Read more of this work...

I know of a river of more than average 
Sorts...
Meandering, when not dallying to maunder,
Between many differing contours 
And unruly contorts;
Where a privileged youth once
Happily...

Read more of this work...

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou can buy drinks at McD’s for a buck,
Wait, that means thou never want to pay,
Thou went to...

Read more of this work...

After the storm has passed,
Pelting rain has ceased, and
Ratchet winds have shifted into
Tolerable and non-threatening breezes,
Life resumes in an ordinary sense. 
As grey clouds move...

Read more of this work...

... That maybe I need to ratchet it down a bit,
      Least I appear too annoyingly enthusiatic. (HAHAHAHA)
  ...

Read more of this work...

I've been collecting ear wax
Since the belly button lint dust fire went bad
I lost all my dignity in that fiasco
So ear wax is all that...

Read more of this work...

Deadly chemicals
parked in the cargo hold
of an American military plane
Destination: the jungles of Vietnam
Guerillas in the mist ...
communism with an Asian face
is on the uptick
It's...

Read more of this work...

.



Being kept penniless was way too much! 
Gonna fix my ex's car...
hell, he couldn't do it! 
Couldn't find rusted parts...

needle-nose pliers, Phillips, 
ratchet, spit, gum...jack.

Hmmmm...reroute...

Read more of this work...

As the grinning Randal Patrick McMurphy
he was at his best
with an unconquerable spirit
flying over the cuckoo's nest

smiling down the halls of insanity
spreading hope and desire
stirring...

Read more of this work...