Best Ratchet Poems
$hawty Got $wag
Shawty got swag,
Shawty mad dope.
Face all cheesin’,
She real turned up.
Goin’ to da club,
She steppin' wit her peeps,
Lookin’ so ratchet,
She’s straight up hoochie.
No racks in her pocket,
No stacks in her wallet,
But she all into bubbly
Slurpin’ and burpin’.
Lookin for a big baller,
Who’ll give her wat she wants,
Wildin’ on the dance floor,
Tweakin’ an’ freakin’,
Shawty actin' so cra cra!
She just like da rest a dem,
But Shawty real fly,
Sure likes a lotta ice,
Bling bling, and Benjamins.
Shawty creepin’ to hook up
Coz she needs a boo wit finesse,
Who’ll give her Yves St. Laurent,
5-star hotels, and 5-star restaurants.
Shawty off the chain,
Shawty off the hook,
She got game and she’s aight!
Shawty da bomb - fuh real!!!
08-18-2014
Contest: Ebonics – Let’s Do Some Slang
Sponsor: Verlena S. Walker
Placement: 1st
Some Terms and Definitions:
shawty – a young attractive female; dope – cool, nice, awesome; swag – style;
turn up – excited; mad – really a lot; peeps – friends, close pals; baller – a
thug that made it in the big time; racks/stacks– lots of money; aight – alright;
wildin’– to go crazy, acting out of control; cra cra – crazy; tweakin’/freakin’ –
dancing provocatively and moving around out of control; cheesin’ – smiling;
finesse – man who has swag and can spend a huge amount of money; ratchet
– ghetto diva; creepin’ – sneaking about; bubbly – champagne; bling bling –
expensive flashy jewelry; Benjamins – hundred dollar bills; boo – one’s lover;
da bomb – the best of the best; game – skills; ice – expensive flashy jewelry
usually diamonds or jewelry with diamonds; off the chain/off the hook –
excellent, fantastic, awesome; fly – cool, in style; hook up – getting together
with someone romantically; hoochie – a female who dresses trashy; straight up
– absolutely, really.
Categories:
ratchet, character, fun, girl, hip
Form:
Free verse
(Innuendo -- Pigs)
All around are sticks and stone
Feel God's loving arms around you
-----At last, I am redeemed-----
A feast of my soul, you shall receive
A cake for dinner, I made out of stones
Ratchet pigs fill their dirty mouths,
Consuming my soul, sipping on champagne
At peace with myself, brushing off the walls
Nevertheless, tonight they speak in tongues
-I strain my ears to listen;
While pettitoes approach my page
I hear the squeals, I hear the chit chat
from he/she that wears no shame.
Am I she, the evil one?
The one you penned -
Under the influence of manipulation
Trying to stifle my voice of beauty
No matter, I am crazy, a dreamer
Never claim to be THE INNOCENT,
The Poet Destroyer!!!
I ignore the walls when they speak
Nevertheless, tonight they have eyes
They watch my every move
A trotters dance, of togetherness
Forgetting the reason we are here
I will win and conquer my privacy
You can't destroy what you can't see
I am the glory of my day
I am God's pet!!!
A Lamb, wearing white
To others a wolf in disguise
Spitting slithers, swear
I am the Devil's Advocate
I marvel how they snort at night
Today I will crash the sore whispering party
You! My friend, no longer exist
You are naught more than cobwebs
You will dream about me, write about me
I will give you ammo, then read it from you.
I will show you what a demon is!
Like the light and envy of every moon
I shall ask my reflection and remove
the residue from hogging lips.
I will watch you urbane the truth
The heat and lust I conquer from you
A font with no reflection, dating apples
Heading away from its own advice
A hard task from its quill, enjoying leftovers
Pinpointing fingers among shallow dreams
It's sickening to see pigs pat each others back
Feeding on my demonic words
Convoying innuendos in my bearing
Now it's my turn, to turn the roaster on
With no interest in removing muddy sheets
I shall smile and walk away
In - joy - my heart beats and smiles
Knowing, I made you look --- AGAIN!!!
By: PD
Categories:
ratchet, anger, animal, evil, slam,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
Wake up fresh in the morning, free from daytime's infections
Splash a pot of coffee on your pristine complexion
Rev up your car's engine: Send a cloud of smoke into the air
Motor off to work: Emit toxic pollutants over the road everywhere
Sprint to your desk: Turn on the computers, the a/c and the lights
Ratchet up enough current to frazzle countless insects and mites
At break, leave the office: Enjoy a quick smoke
Then smell your clothes -- a tar-and-nicotine cloak
Back at your desk, sweat pours down your body
Mingled with the smell of your cloak, you're off to the potty
Where you befoul the toilet, the hallway and office
With tincture of excrement, exotic odor so nauseous ...
**********
Now this poem's not going to sink, burn or crash
Here's how to remove gobs of rubbish and trash
Step into the shower at the close of each day
Turn on the water full-throttle: Blast those germs away
Let the welcome droplets cascade down your head, face and arms
Wash the stench away with H2O's charms
Categories:
ratchet, environment, pollution, water,
Form:
Rhyme
I wasn't completely sure who I just was, so
I counted off three-chimes of the bell in the
clock tower.... I'm out late.... Nighthawks swoop
and Crickets hush their tensile ratchet, until I
pass by.
He pushed by me, cutting me off, as I pointed
towards the Hotel on the hill.... he could stay
there, but I would need to remain alert, focused
on matters close by..... like, why is pink my
favorite color? .... and, why are Dutch People
in art, always painted blue?
Doesn't seem fair... with no expectations, rewards,
or pressure, would humans naturally be of a giving
nature? ...... or selfish?
Categories:
ratchet, adventure
Form:
Free verse
I have some favorite tools I use,
Whenever I ply my trade,
From the hammer in my leather pouch,
To the retractable cutting blade.
I also love the spanners I have,
One metric, the other in inch,
When I use them to tighten to my car,
The small electric motor winch.
And the ratchet, socket and circular saw,
Displayed inside my shed,
I love these names said loud and proud,
From mallet to Phillips Head
And I use these tools every day,
I use the chisel, the grips, the wrench,
I love disappearing all the time,
By my old warn wood workbench.
Categories:
ratchet, funny, work,
Form:
Quatrain
I had a Head Nurse that was just born mean
The ugliest woman I'd ever seen
A voice like sharp ice
Never could be nice
She made old Nurse Ratchet seem like a queen
Categories:
ratchet, funny,
Form:
Limerick
hi I'm Baxter Belknap Mandible IV
the Ninth Earl of Burneydick
I'll be heading your inner assault team
would you like the wine list
we have a nice Retaliation 666
somewhere over the rainbow
where every two-bit overheard whisper is an omen
and other vile statistical deceptions
where the big wheel spins like a drawbridge ratchet
but it never stops too many numbers
and the future continues to remain hypothetical
in degrees depending on the reading
an experiment in capitulation and submission
it was the War of the Parasites
but when has it been otherwise
this is a mathematical demonstration
bold as a distillery padlock
that insanity is the flip side
of merely more insanity
that would be Mandible IV driving
his dream hearse down memory lane
smoke from burning bodies
badly needing a wick adjustment
apparently fogged his lens
the horrors of the world are entertainment
weather permitting we'll visit the ruins
and insist upon representation
in the government Pilgrim Travel Advisory
you see the difficulty
serenity having been proven
a monstrous violation of reality
pause
every idea is a unit of measure
another pause
the pixels swirled and another
unholy vision drifted past in the tide
riveted to my screen
and it's trauma etched engrams
picked up on my middle finger antenna
in the last act you find out why
good bad and maybe mostly maybe
just trying to be more numerological
be certain of your conclusions
or call them something else
sure people's faces can be read
most are possessed by a mad hunger
or acts of cosmetic genius
proving it's more than brain chemistry
they told me that self-creation has its dangers
lots of mockery out there in hammer land
but there's no mocking your best efforts
kept them off my back for a while
set free for the propaganda value
and still always curious
From "Engine of Didactic Beauty" available on Amazon
Artist Portfolio: http://walteralter.byethost32.com/
Categories:
ratchet, crazy, how i feel,
Form:
Free verse
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou can buy drinks at McD’s for a buck,
Wait, that means thou never want to pay,
Thou went to see a psychic for good luck.
Sometime too hot thou think thou are at clubs,
The ways you act embarrass all thy friends ;
And when we need to drag thou out of pubs,
We hope thy hot behaviour will soon end.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Especially in winter when thou wear;
Shorts too short with legs far too displayed,
“Oh my god, I can see her underwear,”
Thy “summer’s” kind of ratchet after all
Thy friends will wait until you turn to fall.
Categories:
ratchet, arabic, bridal shower, earth
Form:
Sonnet
After the storm has passed,
Pelting rain has ceased, and
Ratchet winds have shifted into
Tolerable and non-threatening breezes,
Life resumes in an ordinary sense.
As grey clouds move east,
The sky opens to unveil its majesty
And daybreak takes its proper place.
Slowly the sun emerges,
Rising like a phoenix,
Renewing our hope and calm.
The world looks anew.
As birds chirp and trees stand tall
No longer swayed by unfriendly gusts,
The clean scent of rain left behind
Brings forth a new freshness in the day.
Life resumes with kids playing in puddles
And downtown streets are busied with people
Who walk unrushed to appointments.
On lucky days when looking into the sky
A bow of colors may catch their eyes –
Such a rare treasure that makes them smile
As they take delight in its pleasing sight.
What a miracles it is to see
After the passing of a storm.
Perched above it signals harmony
And the promise of a new beginning.
A wondrous sign to behold,
A remarkable ending to that which has passed.
Categories:
ratchet, change, life, nature, rainbow,
Form:
Free verse
I've been collecting ear wax
Since the belly button lint dust fire went bad
I lost all my dignity in that fiasco
So ear wax is all that I have left
Believe you me, it's not easy
Coming up with another scheme
After burning the whole town down to the ground
To get a single soul to look or even listen to me
But that fateful day that I dug deep
And pulled a replica of the Eiffel Tower out of my ear
I knew that fame and fortune lay before me
My time had arrived, my time was here
Who should I call first over my artful discovery
The Post? The Enquirer? The Times?
No I would call The Museum Of Modern Art in NYC
For the Art World would soon be mine
I knew I had to ratchet it up a notch
One piece of ear wax art might be a fluke
So I got out my brush...the Q-tip
And removed a portrait of John Wayne AKA The Duke
Since I live in a hippie commune in the woods
Little furry creatures would always stop by
To gaze upon the artful process
Squirrels can be the best of critics...no lie!
Which gave me the idea with all the left over ear wax
I sculptured a mini-amusement park with mini-arcades
And charged the woodland creatures nuts and berries
Which helped feed the hippies with whom I stay
It wasn't long after that I received the letter
Stating that art had a need for me
I've become known as The Andy Warhol of The Art World
With abstract ear wax being my specialty
Now I go to all the major "Who Does"
Where everybody knows my name
As I create masterpieces right before their eyes
Just don't hold it to close to the flame
Who would have ever thought that ear wax
Would be the perfect medium
To jet propel this Simpleton
To Art World stardom and beyond
Categories:
ratchet, funny, humor,
Form:
Free verse
... That maybe I need to ratchet it down a bit,
Least I appear too annoyingly enthusiatic. (HAHAHAHA)
But I want you all to know,
The beauty of poetry
And my appreciation
For all it's form
Or where it came from
Is my heart's most fervent passion.....
----------------------------
THE WORLD NEEDS MORE POETS! HAIL POETRY SOUP!!! MORE, MORE!!!! :o)
Categories:
ratchet, dedication, devotion, passion, thank
Form:
Free verse
Deadly chemicals
parked in the cargo hold
of an American military plane
Destination: the jungles of Vietnam
Guerillas in the mist ...
communism with an Asian face
is on the uptick
It's the 60's, man
Free love don't like none of that
paid warring
Progressive rock-n-roll got a hippie soul,
but seeing flags burning make patriotic blood boil
Peaceful protesting
on college campuses all across the American soil,
a generation of Flower childs blossoming
While over in Vietnam,
war is cultivating a crop of pain
Weather forecast says: each mourn come dawn,
expect sixteen tons of napalm rain
Tell me who fights a war whose goal is not to win,
but to just stick to the failed mission
Every evening fuel up the planes,
to dust crop those fields of burning dreams
Orders are to ratchet up the suffering,
by laying down more napalm rain
As the next generation of Flower children start bursting,
old hearts wonder:
Will those new killing fields ever grow hope again?
Categories:
ratchet, death, pain, truth, war,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
Passed, words confirmed, where do I turn
Wheels of confusion astride my time
Now knowing my tomorrow's being
As I await life's minutes in reflective remind
Awakening the next morning I'm graced by the sun
Absorbing it's warmth as I neglected before
This all means so much different than previous days
For this time I'm captured now knowing life's score
The key in the door starts my palms to speak
As the Warden confirms, hey' Fraser it's time
Turned, now returned, as I hear ratchet sounds
Walking such corridors hearing negative chimes
Cocky I say Hi, as I'm instructed to remain be
Hence their almighty be they sure inform me
Sitting you'll be amidst arched back becoming so proud
For you'll absorb said electrics throwing you aloud
Seconds to minutes as I stare from whom I've taken
Kaleidoscopic views now attract my visions aplenty
Internal droughts apprehend me as I walk cuffed
Now knowing my inept, soon deserved to be empty
I'm now counting the minutes as to where I'll demise
To all my all out there I've no favour for your cries.
8/5/2017
Categories:
ratchet, angst, anxiety, death,
Form:
Rhyme
As the grinning Randal Patrick McMurphy
he was at his best
with an unconquerable spirit
flying over the cuckoo's nest
smiling down the halls of insanity
spreading hope and desire
stirring the hearts of men
who long ago lost the fire
Matching his wits day to day
with the tyrannical nurse Ratchet
would prove his waterloo
for to his head she would wield her hatchet
though the claw of conformity steals McMurphy's grin
sadly to the jealous thief
to his memory the symbolic sink is majestically ripped from the floor
with an unconquerable spirit
escapes his friend the Chief
Categories:
ratchet, dedication
Form:
Comeback God sacked a craft sassed to last /
Grasp no slack or sag with the rap slap/
Pressure the bag and tip of the cap /
Coder crack hat and lift that latch /
Off the docket and out the casket /
Almost a tragic trashed hit had him cashed in /
Dodged that tactic now have the out to last kit /
Hoss’s odds lodged a socket to play with any ratchet
Categories:
ratchet, art, character, crazy, education,
Form:
Rhyme