Best Pudding Poems
nobody sees you the way I do
in your wheelchair
with your unopenable arms
where everything crashes to a gray twisted landscape
my brother
alpha male
of demon strut clashes
in our shared childhood
once you flipped your hockey stick between my thin legs
to see how many stairs I'd tumble down
your yells to me to "toughen up"
cursing a younger brother
"bookworm sissy"
"vanilla boy"
to expletives that ran like tap water
when proximity was a contact sport
at the care home
to your lips
I spoon in pudding
its dull tranquility
vanilla
into a body that feels itself liquid, limbs pliable and porous
I'd like to re-touch our brotherly photos
to change them to accuracy
or crumple them like a wasp nest knocked to the ground
for nobody sees you the way I do
for nobody knows you the way I do
Categories:
pudding, angst, bullying, caregiving, child
Form:
Free verse
In the middle of the night,
When the moon shines bright,
A creature stirs with a terrible bite,
And his name is Spoonfang.
This vampire with a spoony face,
Has developed quite the taste,
For creatures of the pudding race,
Has the greedy Spoonfang.
So when the stars through dark clouds peek,
Into the kitchen he will creep,
And a tasty snack he’ll sneak,
Will the crafty Spoonfang.
Mousse and trifle, cake of cheese,
Ice-cream left in the deep freeze,
He’s had a bite of each of these,
Has the naughty Spoonfang.
But tonight he’s set his eyes,
Not on mother’s tasty pies,
But on Gran’s birthday surprise,
A gateau all for Spoonfang.
And so he creeps along the floor,
Tip-toes to the kitchen door,
But someone else is there before,
The bold and daring Spoonfang.
Count Spatula! The greatest Pudding Vampire of them all!
Both the vampires get a fright,
Their screams echo through the night,
And someone switches on the light,
On Spatula and Spoonfang.
Mother tuts and shakes her head,
Sends son and father back to bed,
Neither vampire has been fed,
Not Spatula nor Spoonfang.
Maybe there’s a little Pudding vampire in all of us!
Categories:
pudding, childhood, food, children, kids,
Form:
Rhyme
Cecilia has set me a challenge – to order my favourite pud
If I can say sticky toffee pudding it would be oh so good
But I may make another error and it could come out so bad
If I said stiffy cockie pudding again it would make me oh so sad
But a thought has just occurred to me – I don’t need to use my voice
My husband can order for me, then I’ll get the pudding of my choice!
1st October 2015
Categories:
pudding, food, humorous,
Form:
Couplet
Mix up all the love felt for my family, God, and Home.
Sprinkle in the gratitude for material blessings from above.
Blend well, holiday cheer.
Whip the the blues and set aside.
Let the Joy rise to overflowing.
let all the friends partake of the blessings, Warm the hearts of others in my path, sautee the
ingredients and Share the Love with all the neighborhood. Set a spell and enjoy.
My Recipe for Thanksgiving Pudding
Categories:
pudding, holiday, thank youthanksgiving, love,
Form:
Light Verse
A pancake dribbled in syrup
With cream and cherries
Chocolate lightly sprinkled over
With exotic fruits
Ooh and a tight thong
Now girls eat
Me!
Categories:
pudding, funny
Form:
Epulaeryu
Everybody’s noodle pudding’s
Baked a different way.
If you lined them up, you’d find
A real diverse display.
Mine, which is delicious,
Has two different kinds of fruit –
Orange slices from the can
And pineapple, to boot;
Sour cream, vanilla, butter,
Eggs and cottage cheese.
It disappears so fast, there’s not
A piece left I can freeze.
My friend makes hers with cream cheese,
Also pineapple and milk!
She bakes it half as long as mine
And says it’s smooth as silk.
Some recipes have raisins
And use cinnamon for spicing.
That combination, to my palate,
Isn’t that enticing.
In spite of the ingredients
That they’re concocted of,
All kugels* taste delectable
If they are made with love.
Yet every cook who makes one
Would be proud to take a test
Just to prove what she knows in her heart –
Her noodle pudding’s best!
*Yiddish for noodle puddings or other baked dishes
Categories:
pudding, food,
Form:
Rhyme
Crepes and salted caramel
A Yorkshire parkin
with peanut butter parfait
blackberry sorbet
prunes in Armagnac
Treats back to
Back!
Categories:
pudding, food
Form:
Epulaeryu
Pub in Yorkshire with stout and ale aplenty.
Red faces sweating with alcohol's influence.
Singing fine songs in reverie and ecstasy.
Salivating at arrival of that succulent essence.
Tender juicy slices of beef covered with gravy.
A splendour when touched by crispy bubbling pudding.
Roast potatoes smiling that wicked grin for tongue's activity.
Forks and knives clatter in haste for that delight of tasty supping.
Drowning that deliciousness with ale.
Rhyming lyrics midst throng of patrons' happiness.
Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding you made me hale.
I will visit you often and celebrate tummy's warmth in merriness.
Categories:
pudding, culture, england, food, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
The pudding is in the basin
The cloth is tied in a knot
We put it in the boiling water
And hear it hissing in the pot
Categories:
pudding, holiday
Form:
Order by offer
Ingredients do matter
Stuck in first trouble
Boiling some flavors
Pudding missed in sweet manner
Moulding successfully failed
Yet we feel give up
Deserve for a second chance
Re-mould done! Relieved...
Sit tight in a fridge
Naughty pudding had a plan
Mission to seduce
Tempted by its look
My husband eat for a slice
Mother-in-law scold
Naughty pudding finally win in its mission, well, one pudding unsold :p
Categories:
pudding, food, funny,
Form:
Haiku
Embarrassing moments .. oh I guess we’ve all had a few
But this is one is so memorable so I will share it with you!
My hubby had become friends with Dave through work
and we had been invited for a Chinese meal with him and his girlfriend
I had never met them before and was a little bit nervous
The restaurant we went to was very posh
Dave and Tracey had eaten there the week before
We all got on like a house on fire and laughed all night
The conversation flowed, as did the wine.
We had a delicious meal and it was then time to order dessert
Banana fritters were on the menu, my mouth watered at the thought
Oh I simply adore banana fritters drizzled with golden syrup
We all agreed to have the same dessert
Dave’s eyes lit up and he called the waiter over
he ordered ‘banana fritter specials’ …
winked at the waiter and they both laughed
We continued chatting whilst we waited for our desserts to arrive
Suddenly the other diners went quiet and then they started to laugh
I turned round to see two waiters striding across the room
Each carrying two plates with our desserts
Yes banana fritters …
but not like I had EVER witnessed before or since
The banana had been cooked with two ‘dough balls’ one on either side
and had been arranged on the plate so that the banana was ‘upright’
A blob of cream at the top of the banana fritter completed the effect
By the time this phallic pudding was placed in front of me
my face was as red as a tomato and I was crying with laughter.
I wanted the floor to open up and engulf me
I was so embarrassed as everyone was laughing at us
Somehow we all managed to eat our desserts
It was the best banana fritter I’ve ever tasted -
and definitely the most memorable!
We became great friends with Dave and Tracey
but never went back to that restaurant again
This happened in 1991 and is a 100% true story!
Most embarrassing moment Contest
Sponsor Mystic Rose
10~10~15
Categories:
pudding, food, fun, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
Almonds encased in hard red candy
Brandy from snow white walnuts
Collateral damage to the left front bumper of the sled
Dietary restrictions on anything considered a spice
Everything more often wins the day
Francesca left her pie though (no one will eat that)
Gluwein, go get it, we need it now
Hysterical colors spin all around me
Illicit behavior may well be tolerated though only after 10pm
Jellybeans are being shoved into orifices now
Knives are being put away for the safety of everyone here (especially Dwayde)
Lathering up all the kid's faces now to resemble tiny maniac Santas
My mother is making tea
No one will drink
Octopussy is playing in the background
Phantasmagoria bread pudding
Quickly tell me who ate all the bread pudding
Round them up and shoot them
Seriously
The only thing I ever eat is the bread pudding and everyone knows it
Unusual cravings now
Vertical with help from the wall
Waiting for someone named Misty to return from her car with her white elephant
Xenon purple body
Yuletide clopping going on inside my head
Zesty reds streak across the insides of my eyelids
Categories:
pudding, christmas,
Form:
Abecedarian
Twas the day after Christmas
and my jeans? They FIT fit.
I ain't even tripping,
because ALL the food was LIT!
I'm not mad at the scale.
Nope. Not one little bit.
People ask,
"Whatchu get for Christmas?"
I say "just Junk".
They're all completely shocked,
because my answer is
"just so crass!"
I laugh to myself, because
bless their judging hearts,
they have no idea, that
I'm talking about this a$$.
So..., in my mind,
I drop it AND I pop it,
and perform a whole
Burlesque skit,
and all this ceremony,
Is because
my Bread Pudding was LIT!
Categories:
pudding, christmas,
Form:
Rhyme
The chef told the judge
the cake was in the oven
Evidence baked in
Categories:
pudding, humor, metaphor, truth, word
Form:
Senryu
Asbestos Pudding
Here have I an ethereal belly
And, before me, asbestos jelly!
(In sly reference to College workload of assignments as inspired by mountains whose bedrock is endowed with asbestos mineral))
JM
22nd Feb’ 2014
Categories:
pudding, books,
Form:
Couplet