Best Profanities Poems
Sarah’s Story - Mental Illness
Sarah, the “Crazy Lady,” was a familiar sight,
roaming the streets any time of day or night.
Her foul body odor announced her presence,
as she paraded around in her filthy, smelly garments.
Walking barefoot regardless of the weather,
in her state of mind, she couldn’t do better.
Children teased and made fun of Sarah,
reciting ridiculing ditties, adding to the drama.
Behind her a lively entourage would follow,
taunting and calling her names creating a sideshow.
They howled with childish laughter,
as Sarah hurled angry profanities after.
An avid collector of all kinds of trash,
she transformed her abode into a garbage stash.
Sarah’s odd behavior made her fair game,
to unkind people who had no mercy or shame.
While many folks turned a blind eye,
young boys threw rocks and other missile,
at the roof and windows of the shack she occupied.
Behind bushes, they would scamper away to hide,
as Sarah furiously dashed outside,
brandishing a machete, cudgel, or broom,
screaming out curses, damnation, and doom.
Like a cancer, her mental illness had devoured her brain,
and before long, she was officially "certified insane."
Most agreed it was for her own benefit,
and for the good of society to be rid of this "misfit."
But even though she was locked away in an institution,
no psychiatric treatment could cure her mental condition.
When Sarah finally died, she was unloved and alone;
her passing was hardly noticed, and she was mourned by none.
Note: This piece was inspired by a true account. While we have made great strides in the study of mental illness and understanding it, unfortunately negative attitudes and beliefs toward people who have mental health conditions are still common. Thus, as a society, we still have a long way to go to improve our attitudes and to show more caring and compassion for those who suffer from various types of mental illness.
08-06-2015
Contest: Mental Illness
Sponsor: Nathan D.
Placement: 7th
Categories:
profanities, crazy, depression, hurt, mental
Form:
Rhyme
Oops, It was an Accident
I accidentally let one loose
on a blind date with a guy named Bruce.
We went to the movies on that fateful day
happily carrying our snacks on a tray.
We settled down in our comfy seat
all ready to enjoy this special treat.
Things were proceeding oh so well
with popcorn, hot dogs, banana split with caramel,
when suddenly my stomach began to rumble,
and to my dismay, gurgle and grumble.
In fear, I felt the gases build up
like a once dormant volcano about to erupt.
Then helplessly, I had to just let it loose;
oh my gracious, the stench was profuse!
Mortified I wanted to drop to my knee,
but played possum so none would suspect it was me.
People started shouting such gross obscenities,
and hollering out unmentionable profanities.
One voice declared that something had died;
another indignantly wanted the stinker identified.
Someone suggested the skunk should be drowned;
I wanted to flee, but I dared not turn around.
So quietly I sat unknown in the dark cinema,
as poor Bruce wondered aloud if someone had been given an enema.
My heart boomed forth just like a doom-drum,
I prayed no other foul odor would escape my guilty bum.
But like a clan of skunks, it lingered and stunk,
I was so afraid folks would figure out who’d made that funk.
Thankfully I was saved from public disgrace
as ushers armed with spray cans fogged up that whole place.
Gratefully I sighed, relieved that my crime
had not been traced back to me by show time!
07-09-2018
Contest: I Accidentally Let One Loose
Sponsor: Charles Messina
Placement: 1st
Categories:
profanities, anxiety, hilarious, youth,
Form:
Rhyme
My parrots name was Captain Flint,
Boy that bird could swear.
I never invited visitors,
So blue was the air.
He'd squawk "pretty effing polly"
Or "give us a cracker you t##t"
I'd never heard such swearing,
I never taught him that.
I bought him off a sailor
Who was heading back to sea,
He said to me, "you'll love him
He's such good company."
And what he said was right
He entertained, it's true.
I said "who's a pretty boy then"
He squawked, " well not effing you !"
The profanities just got too much,
I sold him, with regret.
But the house seems so quiet now,
Without my 'effing' pet !
Categories:
profanities, bird, humorous, language, pets,
Form:
Rhyme
We all have voices
They are strong and loud
We can use them to start
Landslides and earthquakes
We can also calm the storm
Take that roar and turn it into
A gentle hum
We all have words
And it's time that we use them
But before we can do that
We must change the way we speak
We must change the way we look at things
Because the words we use now are not correct
The words we use now are full of hate
The words we use weren't acceptable
Years ago so why are they now?
Why is acceptable to be using slurs against me?
Why is it acceptable to call me something
That your mother would consider vulgar?
When you speak
Can you still taste the soap
That she would wash your mouth out with?
Does it burn your tongue each time
The words escape your lips?
Or do you feel nothing at all?
Have your dirty words
Consumed you enough
That no matter how much soap is used
They will never be clean?
Have they stained your vocal chords
So much to a point
That you can only speak
In profanities and racial slurs?
Because that's all I can hear
They slap me in the face
Each time you speak
I remember what you said
To that disabled black man crossing the street
I remember what you said
To the lesbian couple
When they kissed each other in front of us
I remember what you said to the single Latino woman
Caring for her 5 children
I remember what you said when I told you I wasn't straight
I remember everything you said
And I always say
We all have words
And it's time that we use them
But only if we can calm the storm
And turn the endless hate
Into unconditional love
Categories:
profanities, anti bullying, slam,
Form:
Free verse
Demonically Dispossessed
...man has the ability to express great love,
and dispense great evil...
The legions of darkness descend as they beastly bewilder and offend
The serpents of Babylon attend as their ecumenical evil does extend
In a pandemonium plunge with pernicious pains and succulent sponge
With tenacious tongues they lunge and fast fade away as they expunge
~~~
In their fallacious faculties fermenting feces frolicking the wasteland
Demonic disciples preach profanities before the sanguineous sand
As they efficiently eviscerate exigently under their hellion command
For they are curious to castrate the condemned as their cries demand
~~~
Within their taunting tantalize as hearts bleed amidst the scarlet skies
Their goal the soul to compromise and for love to cripple and capsize
In a vortex venomous vile blasphemous broods of a damnation defile
For we must battle the bile as warriors of light with a sagacious smile.
Music by Slipknot-'The devil in I'
June.28.2018
Eight word challenge-7
Sponsored by: John Hamilton
Placed 2'nd
Categories:
profanities, conflict, evil, fear, humanity,
Form:
Rhyme
I yelled and flung the empty whiskey bottle through the air
The marching high school band is getting closer
Children running, playing with the pygmy bear
The carny selling snake oil, argues with the grocer
Soldiers marching past the fountain try hard to hide their stares
as ladies of the night walk by and boldly strut their wares
The preacher turns the other cheek, and quickly looks away
As mothers hide their children’s eyes, on such a dreadful day
The hunchback and the midget playing baseball on the grass
run off the growling rabid dog that almost bit their ass
The fishermen pull up their anchors in the dark and tranquil bay
and sail off to their secret place, where mermaids swim and play
The doctors and the lawyers and their limo drivers too
lay drunk across their tables in the dimly lit saloon
The one eyed hooker sings aloud her favorite Country tune
As the village idiot runs in circles, howling at the moon
And me I’m just here sitting, watching from the bleachers
As children on their outing, yell profanities at their teachers
The firemen turn their hoses on the salesmen trying to sell
Direct TV subscriptions, as the crowds yell “go to hell”.
City lights come alive, the cats desert the streets
The silence of the falling leaves, are gathering at my feet
As I walk past the working men, erecting circus tents
To bring tomorrow’s curious here, to offer new events
Categories:
profanities, fantasy,
Form:
Rhyme
Dreams Of Her On Lonely Nights
My thoughts carried as in arrows swift flight
Each bad day, loneliness and misery;
More to come- dying sun gives wicked night,
long and sadder became desperate pleas.
Where once cherished fires burned brilliant glow,
Now treads shadow host of my vanities;
Lost heart stood aloof, cold as coldest snow
casting forth red-pain and profanities.
Not realized, plans of joy and future life
Nor again- moments of her sweet touch;
Yet held deepest, poems of our love, my wife
This world, I would give, to have again such.
In darkness, my soul in lost battle fights,
Images of her, in dreams on lonely nights.
R.J. Lindley,
April 21st, 1976
Syllables Per Line: 10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 11 10 11 10 0 10 10
Total # Syllables: 142
Total # Lines: 17 (Including empty lines)
Words with (syllables) counted programmatically: N/A
Total # Words: 104
Note--Old sonnet, real bad time in my young life ..
So often we are made strong-- by the depth of the fires that burned us so severely.......
Categories:
profanities, lost love, memory, night,
Form:
Sonnet
The candles are extinguished today and the crucifix covered in black
for the One whos life was once bludgeoned with ignorance and greed
As He readied for heaven, he took each heavy Pontus whack
for sake of a world that could not accept nor believe, His Holy Creed
Some repented while others shouted profanities and ignored His tears
as He carried the Cross towards His final resting place, He slowly wept
the sky, grueling dark unbending, did not shed the rain nor smear
while His laced up sandals walked the sand without God's intercept
"But If I, With The Finger Of God," He once implied before he died
but this was not to be, for the Son of God belonged to man's transfix
He walked through throngs and herds as he closed the great divide
they watched, as clustered Halos grew around His bloodied Crucifix
But If I, With The Finger Of God could wipe away His pain
be more then just a writer recalling His death with ink and quill
The world would be changed as I know it, and He would Reign
Yes He is the One who died but also, the One they could not kill.
Categories:
profanities, analogy, christian, jesus,
Form:
Rhyme
Oh the Cloud is wonderful
Every thing in it's place
Safe and securely held
There in cyber space.
Please enter your password
To proceed to the store
That may once have been correct
But now it isn't anymore.
Did you forget your password?
Would you like to change it now?
Follow the instructions
Which will show you how.
Enter your new password.
Now enter again to confirm.
Sorry they don't match
They must be the same.
You must choose a password
Not used in the last year
Enter new one in the box
Just down here.
I am a fallible human
My memory come and goes
Have I used this already
Who the heck knows
I resort to gross profanities
Want to scream and shout
Open a window and
Throw my bloody laptop out.
Jump on it and kick it
Break the bloody thing in two
Microsoft and Apple
I hate the pair of you
A deep enduring hate
For the stress and strife
Daily you have added
To my once simple life.
You have no compassion
So long as your PC's sell
If there is any justice
You will all rot in hell.
Your request has timed out
For you took too long
And too many times
You entered data that was wrong
I want to check my Bank Balance
They said it would be fine
Seven levels of security
When you bank on line.
We really don't have
Assets to any great amount
So I really do need regularly
To check my current account
It's all safe and secure
There in cyber space
Everything kept and recorded
In its own proper place.
Please re-enter your password
We will tell you where and when
Did you forget your password
and corruption, here we go again.
Categories:
profanities, angst, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Dedicated to Lt. Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. (November 11, 1885 – December 21, 1945)
I'd fought a hundred battles
through the ages past and new
I'd been a lowly foot soldier
But at times commanded too.
I was a witness of Arab mothers
Fleeing cities under-siege ;
A new age liberator,
The commander of the third.
I had served with Ceasar's legion;
The Carthaginians; and the Greeks.
When Arthur was in his Kingship,
I was a captain of the knights
A horseman tough and skillful
Of medieval cavalier;
But ages had transformed me
to dash with iron wheels
The only time I meet MacArthur
Was in the salient of St. Mehiel
We both stood erect, calm, and unmindful
To the guns and bursting shell.
Oh well take a look at Monty
Too slow for his advance
He didn't expect me to take Palermo
or Mesina to my plan
I was reproved of my harshness,
They knew not that I was somber too
I cared not of my language
As long as my point would get through
I'd mixed my words with profanities
That my orders surely stick
My men would always remember every word
While they're in the battle field
Oh my, I hate those yellow bastards
They have no place on this earth
I sent them to the frontlines
That no more they would breed
Those swivel chair commanders
Discounted my two days time
But brave soldier deserved to be rescued
Before his dog tag stops to chime.
So my men made it to Dunkirk
To the delight of McAuliffe
"Surrender!" yelled the Nazis
but "nutz" was all he said.
I was cut off of supplies and fuel
For Market Garden's sake
But after pissing the flowing River
I held the Fuhrer's nest
So soon another war was ended
Mine enemies had lost
The iron carver claimed the glory
And relieved me from my post.
Categories:
profanities, memorial day, patriotic, soldier,
Form:
Sonnet
Save this hour of sadness.
This will not too long to try.
Tonight I let it go,
like a river it will flow.
I let my heart burst and shout.
This is the final moment I cried.
Tomorrow you'll not see me,
the same girl you used and trashed.
I'm a new woman with dignity,
one that you couldn't crash.
Step out and don't look back.
Never even try to open your mouth.
This ears wouldn't want to hear at all.
All profanities,wrath and shout.
You put me on this stage,
where pain is bitterly sweet.
You take away all my fears,
Now, I live like a beast.
It's over now....
Last teardrop dried in my fist.
Categories:
profanities, abuse, angst, bullying, change,
Form:
Free verse
Alopecia
I'm lying across my purple bed,
Staring at my vanity.
I just wish I was dead.
I'm losing my sanity.
I can't stand taking these meds.
Their killing me, you see?
I'm a mess.
I'm not lying, I'm as truthful as can be.
I used to be pretty.
Now I'm ugly.
I miss my long beautiful locks,
Now they've all fallen off.
I sit up on my purple bed,
Facing the vanity.
My useless hairbrush is there,
And I'm screaming profanities!
What is it doing there?
I can't brush what isn't there!
Ever since I was diagnosed,
I've been feeling sick in the head.
My parents gave me these meds.
They'll make you feel better they said.
Now I'm drugged,
And I feel unplugged
What is the point of the hairbrush,
When there's nothing to brush?
My sister has stopped talking to me,
Pretending things are the way it's Supposed to be.
I miss my former beauty.
I want my hair and instead all is see is,
Bald, ugly me.
Instead I just sleep.
In my eyes I see,
My self-pity hole,
That I've dug so deep.
In that dark, dark hole,
Is that useless hairbrush,
And ugly me.
Categories:
profanities, abuse, betrayal, child, family,
Form:
With much trepidation I visited the local "hair stylist" today.
It was a "hair raising" experience as compared to barbers of yesterday!
'Twas thirty years since I'd heard the snip of a barber's shears,
Since my long-suffering wife had trimmed my hair for many years!
My hair had become somewhat bushy on the sides and nape,
So I needed her to thin it out and my sparse coiffure reshape!
I was the only guy there, suffering the ladies' intimidating gaze.
"Will this agony ever end?" I thought, for lack of a better phrase!
Displayed in her tidy shop were various creams, dyes and oils,
Plus a variety of glosses and shampoos to beautify the goils!
It took about five minutes for her to snip and groom my hair.
I paid eight bucks plus a paltry tip and scurried out of there!
Now, in the barber shops of old idled the usual jovial blokes,
As the barber recited a litany of the latest risque jokes.
On the walls he displayed posters of women scantily clad.
There was none of that in the "hair stylist's" shop to be had!
The barber shaved and powdered your neck among his amenities,
(After abiding rowdy razzing and very colorful profanities!")
You left his shop reeking of Vitalis and/or pungent bay of rum.
All of this for just six-bits - a nickel tip was the rule of thumb!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Categories:
profanities, funny, hair, hair,
Form:
Rhyme
Listen in,
I, hear in rhythm, speak in rhyme,
watch my words reverberate through space and time,
a 5th dimensional element,
the existentially elegant. One.
The harvest of the father's seed,
reaped by the mother's hand. Son.
Facing the trials of endless miles of unseen roads,
with sole-less shoes and open wounds covered by tattered clothes.
Just me and God, and where this journey leads,
only one of us knows.
A story in the making of glory for the taking,
of triumph, of victory, betrayal, forsaking.
The story of a king, serving under the King.
The story of the proven one, prolific one, of me.
If you could look through my eyes and see what I see,
you’d see the pieces to life’s puzzles hidden beneath.
A surface made of, shady vanities
masked in sensual profanities,
that appeal to the masses,
and exploit all humanity’s,
weakness, is what it boils down to,
we all have it. But rather than rooting it out,
we choose to conceal it under million dollar camouflage
and use perfumes to mask the scent of our doubt.
Trying to realize our identity within
but failing to realize our identity in Him,
He being the one who allows us to transcend,
and hear in rhythm, speak in rhyme,
watch our words reverberate through space and time,
be a 5th dimensional element,
an existentially elegant. One.
Crossing boundaries this world has deemed prohibited.
Because God’s Universal Reign is Unlimited.
One.
Categories:
profanities, bible, black african american,
Form:
Rhyme
Loss (2/11/2014)
It is a stone that cannot be lifted
Planted into the earth of the soul.
Buried under the cat that he drove over
Pressing it into the ground in the ridges of the tractor tire.
And the jungle gym of his arm that I swung under
Long hair, laughing.
And tongue sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, an old apple
Brought in a brown bag to the field at noon.
Shouts and a broken plate, his fist to my face.
And his hands under his head folded in worry.
The girl he loved was getting away.
A single red rose in a small crystal vase
on her concrete steps.
Talking on the green couch downstairs of the past
Of the future.
And the letters from San Francisco,
The letters from Carolina,
The letters from Japan,
Begging for baked goods and promises not to enlist.
The launch off the rope swing into the Missouri,
Profanities screamed over the current into the bright sky.
The stick to Harley’s leg for one more day.
Sneaking out my bedroom window
Drinking a bottle of rum in the tent in the front yard
In a marijuana haze.
My white dress, dancing, his blue and gold uniform,
My manicured nails in his hands and his head over my shoulder
Tears on my back.
And the new girl who wore her own white dress.
And his eyes reflected in his sons
Tiny pieces of him in his arms.
His voice so gentle, so close to them.
Jumping and screaming, laughing bedtimes,
Children being thrown upside down
Tickles and goodnights in the nightlight
The darkness in the windows waiting.
Cold beers on the front porch,
The hum of the crickets call
To the moon.
Dirt on a stone,
Dirt on a stone.
Categories:
profanities, bereavement, brother, death, grief,
Form:
Free verse