Best Poundage Poems

A Special Poem for Will Helppi




A really fat cat named Chunky Charlie

From a town called Licketysplit Corner

Was renowned for a very interesting talent

As a world famous circus performer

His extra poundage added to the spectacle

People thought it was really appealing

They giggled to see him jiggle while...

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Holiday confections of delicious joys mouthwatering flavorings,
Savor the tasty classic Christmas cookies, snicker your drooling
Taste buds of satisfactions indulgence by sugary tarts of rounded
Pleasure, iced with frosting's dappling s of sprinklings coloring!
Gingersnaps men drown in the ice cold milk ponds of thoughts
Consumption, as candy canes...

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All is still in deceptions abyss,
Beneath fathoms deep, aquatic,
Wolves are on the hunt.
Stealth predators unseen, unheard,
Hanging on the fringe of detections,
Outer limits.
In plain black and white,
Behold a deadly beauty personified,
Intelligence next step in evolution.
These devils of the bluest depths,
Known as the Orca.
Chameleon's blending between shadows
...

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Two-Fifty-Four
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd

I bought a new scale at the Wal-Mart store.
Made it secure and level on the floor.
I took a breath, then stepped on.
The digits I saw made me moan.
Surely, I do not weigh two-fifty-four!

Let’s balance the scale, then I’ll try once more.
Adjusted proper,...

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A really fat cat named Chunky Charlie
From a town called Licketysplit Corner
Was renowned for a very interesting talent
As a world famous circus performer

His extra poundage added to the spectacle
People thought it was really appealing
They giggled to see him jiggle while juggling
Six tennis balls as he...

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Two majestic lords of the African Savannah, 
Strike without cautions warning, or roar's announcement.
Nomads, prides outcasts, existing on the fringes edge of
Survival.
Instinct's primal predators, golden phantoms, shadows
Haunted silhouettes passing in the night, casting eerie images
Against canvas tents, and fire lights burning embers.
On heightened senses of...

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Scales to Measure

We are not all equal. 
Some can dance on a wire...
above the crowd, 
Some can swim...
all the way to China. 
While others,
make food that feeds...
many every day, 
or take the hearts...
from some, 
to place in others. 

How can we be equal?
There are history...

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IF I WERE AN ELEPHANT

If my poundage frightens you, then get out of the way!
I will lift you high, with my baton trunk, shimmy you onto my back, as if you
were crowned royalty. I’ll parade you through the jungle. I’ll listen with
an ear or two,...

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Let’s engage the minds gauge
Torque the imagination and take it hostage
Gouge the intellect with an over dosage
A ravenous binge
To my brain damage from under usage
Free the soul from bondage
Unburden emotional baggage
Forge a merge of love and rage with courage
Intoxicate paper with ink cartridge 
A work...

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Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour
However, there are some definite side effects
Remembering to put on you jockeys or your bra if you're a lady
Or if you've recently given up group sex

The average woman uses her height in lipstick every five...

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Resolved was I to exercise,
To utmost try to slenderize.
From flabby bod I'd poundage peel
To Grecian god beneath reveal.

But soon my straining torso frail
Becomes complaining, moaning male.
I parts exert unused for years,
Resulting hurt benumb with beers.

To tone my sinews, first I stretch.
Then phone to paramedics fetch.
Just...

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Been gaining some pounds since moving here
Getting back on track once more
No more cake with two scoops of ice cream
I'm as dedicated as I was before

Resisting temptation is the name of the game
Will power sure comes into play
Without it you're doomed right from the start
Keep...

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Americans are way too fat;
That’s what statistics say,
For 65 percent weigh more
Than what they ought to weigh.

With explanations varied
There is always an excuse
Why, despite a stringent diet,
People’s poundage won’t reduce.

I was once a trifle heavy
And I hated buying clothes;
Every bulge upon my body
Seams and zippers...

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Fat cat was horrified when he stepped on the scale.
He had no idea of his poundage. Such a surprise!
He wondered why it was not mentioned by his girlfriend Gale.
She just looked at him and rolled her amber eyes....

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