Best Poundage Poems

A Special Poem for Will Helppi




A really fat cat named Chunky Charlie

From a town called Licketysplit Corner

Was renowned for a very interesting talent

As a world...

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Holiday confections of delicious joys mouthwatering flavorings,
Savor the tasty classic Christmas cookies, snicker your drooling
Taste buds of satisfactions indulgence by sugary tarts of rounded
Pleasure, iced...

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All is still in deceptions abyss,
Beneath fathoms deep, aquatic,
Wolves are on the hunt.
Stealth predators unseen, unheard,
Hanging on the fringe of detections,
Outer limits.
In plain black and...

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Two-Fifty-Four
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd

I bought a new scale at the Wal-Mart store.
Made it secure and level on the floor.
I took a breath, then stepped on.
The...

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A really fat cat named Chunky Charlie
From a town called Licketysplit Corner
Was renowned for a very interesting talent
As a world famous circus performer

His extra poundage...

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Two majestic lords of the African Savannah, 
Strike without cautions warning, or roar's announcement.
Nomads, prides outcasts, existing on the fringes edge of
Survival.
Instinct's primal predators, golden...

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Scales to Measure

We are not all equal. 
Some can dance on a wire...
above the crowd, 
Some can swim...
all the way to China. 
While others,
make food...

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IF I WERE AN ELEPHANT

If my poundage frightens you, then get out of the way!
I will lift you high, with my baton trunk, shimmy you...

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Let’s engage the minds gauge
Torque the imagination and take it hostage
Gouge the intellect with an over dosage
A ravenous binge
To my brain damage from under usage
Free...

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Been gaining some pounds since moving here
Getting back on track once more
No more cake with two scoops of ice cream
I'm as dedicated as I was...

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Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour
However, there are some definite side effects
Remembering to put on you jockeys or your bra...

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Americans are way too fat;
That’s what statistics say,
For 65 percent weigh more
Than what they ought to weigh.

With explanations varied
There is always an excuse
Why, despite a...

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Fat cat was horrified when he stepped on the scale.
He had no idea of his poundage. Such a surprise!
He wondered why it was not mentioned...

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Resolved was I to exercise,
To utmost try to slenderize.
From flabby bod I'd poundage peel
To Grecian god beneath reveal.

But soon my straining torso frail
Becomes complaining, moaning...

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