Best Plonked Poems

Stood upright, between two roads,
On a thin metal rail,
A solitary, brown coloured bottle 
Of beer,                              ...

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IT’S A MAD WORLD In a Lancashire Accent.

I went to the Confectioners today, there was a long queue outside, a metre apart, and it had started to rain. 
The assistant behind the counter had shiny eyebrows, they were that shiny they looked like plastic leeches...

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My step sister her name is Annie
has got the most gigantic fanny
When she plonked on a chair
She was quite unaware
she’d sat upon our little granny

Our poor granny was almost squashed flat
She screeched ‘Annie you’re so blinking fat’
I’ve just seen a new diet
I think you should...

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Men of Honor in the mist  Kokoda 1942......

Men of Honor in the mist,... 
Sometimes by a bullet kissed,... 
Shoot the buggers they'd insist,...
Threeo plonked,                    ...

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Ted Cogger is our local butcher and he’s been here seven years;
full forward for the footy team and drinks a nightly seven beers.
He played one season for the cricket club, but he was just a slugger,
and Ted’s become a mate of mine, but he’s a...

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.....Norm Duel and Johnno of the Second Twenty Fifth.....
Were in Syria in 1941.....
They were surrounded by the French Foreign legion with....
75mm cannon and machine gun ....
Their mortar position was in a hundred gallon pit.....
They'd plonk the Vichy French just a bit....
A wounded calf was still...

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Plumpyflumpy  was a sort of hippo/giraffe
Its rump was huge like a hippo
With a neck sooooooo long, that’s where the raffe bit was.

Plumpy loved to wallow in a muddy pool
oops I forgot to say that Plumpy was a young girl.   
Sooo she had...

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A  LANCASHIRE  LIASON

“Laugh an world laughs with yer” she said, as she cum in.
I said,“ Do you live in a barn?” 
 She grimaced an with er large left arm she swung out an shut door.
“Are y’ ere to read last rites? No?...

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Ronaldo sprawled in luxury 
across from where the spaniel lay, 
pretending to read Mallarme 
and yawning, stuck in Chapter One. 
The Grandfather ticked heavily, 
there was no other sound in sight 
except dear Josephine who plonked 
and murdered dear Stravinsky's Rite. 

Boredom, and the day's...

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...inspired by 'A Cooking Egg' by T.S. Eliot

 
Ronaldo sprawled in luxury
across from where the spaniel lay,
he soldiered on with Mallarme
and, yawning, re-read Chapter One.

The Grandfather ticked ponderously,
there was no other sound in sight
except dear Josephine who plonked
and murdered dear Stravinsky's Rite.

Boredom was the day's...

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In the style of T.S. Eliot.


          *******


Ronaldo sprawled in luxury 
across from where the spaniel lay, 
pretending to read Mallarme 
and yawning, stuck in Chapter One. 
The Grandfather ticked heavily, 
there was no other sound in...

Continue reading...

...inspired by 'A Cooking Egg' by T.S. Eliot

 
Ronaldo sprawled in luxury
across from where the spaniel lay,
he soldiered on with Mallarme
and, yawning, re-read Chapter One.

The Grandfather ticked ponderously,
there was no other sound in sight
except dear Josephine who plonked
and murdered dear Stravinsky's Rite.

Boredom was the day's...

Continue reading...

In the style of T.S. Eliot.


          *******


Ronaldo sprawled in luxury 
across from where the spaniel lay, 
pretending to read Mallarme 
and yawning, stuck in Chapter One. 
The Grandfather ticked heavily, 
there was no other sound in...

Continue reading...

...inspired by 'A Cooking Egg' by T.S. Eliot

 
Ronaldo sprawled in luxury
across from where the spaniel lay,
pretending to read Mallarme
and yawning, stuck in Chapter One.

The Grandfather ticked ponderously,
there was no other sound in sight
except dear Josephine who plonked
and murdered dear Stravinsky's Rite.

Boredom was the day's...

Continue reading...

Ennui

 
...inspired by 'A Cooking Egg' by T.S. Eliot

 

Ronaldo sprawled in luxury

across from where the spaniel lay,

pretending to read Mallarme

and yawning, stuck in Chapter One.

 

The Grandfather ticked ponderously,

there was no other sound in sight

except dear Josephine who plonked

and murdered dear Stravinsky's Rite.

 

Boredom...

Continue reading...