Best Phlegm Poems
I love to sit under a tree
And smile as songbird sings,
He cocks his head and stares at me
And drops white slimy things.
And now behold, the leaves above
Reflect a change of season
A touch of brown, a flare of red
A dripping, sappy lesion.
Migrating robins from the north,
Their song too sweet for words,
Awake my soul; my heart calls forth,
“Shut up, you idiot birds!”
My eyes are like a dried up sponge
And soak in scenes of nature,
The tree, the brook, the winding road,
Some dead, runover creature.
And with my love, in peaceful bliss
As frequently I am
She shares with me in one sweet kiss
Her life, her soul, her phlegm.
And in a flash of brilliant truth
When fireflies start to dance,
I relive golden days of youth
(And promptly wet my pants).
Happy April Fool's Day, everybody!
Wrote this in college the night before a final
when I should have been studying...
Categories:
phlegm, bird, love, nature,
Form:
Quatrain
I, too, dislike poems.
I’ve tried runes (and rampikes)
but that’s affected
rather than merely effete.
So I call them
figments.
When people query
What do you write?
at a barbecue or birthday party
I say soliloquies,
fractals,
fragments.
Self-similarities,
singularities,
sculptures (scriptures), geometric shapes and series,
three dimensional triangles, spheres
and differential equations,
fractured fairy tales,
Rocky and Bullwinkle,
rectal impactions.
On the other hand,
bits, bots, bytes
remnants, scrap, earth
gobs of phlegm in grains of sand,
shards of glass in a slice of hell,
hunks and clumps, curds and whey, sleet and pain, slap in the face
sub-atomic particles, cell organelles,
chunks of energy, cookie crumbs,
rusty trucks stuck in mud, dustings for ghosts,
just plain dumb luck, rocks, concrete, but not tweets.
Categories:
phlegm, birthday, earth, pain, people,
Form:
Free verse
With a silence that cut through the laughter
She entered the room, bitterness
Edged around her features, portraying
Cruelty with an unfeeling sword of darkest
Gloom, dread so dismal it feels, almost,
Like grief sinking into the bones
Sullenness coughing up phlegm that rots
In the heart, the soul, the mind
Where there is a penetrating hostility
Her eyes glared at the laughing children
Echoed cynicism through the air
Like a poison dart piercing the heart
Her hatred tasted of a sourness
Only the very truthful could attest to
She was hard and her icy stares forced lovers
To pull away from one another, chastised
By the coldness that left chills on the mind
Resentment fell from her pores, sweating acidity
Imploring hope to be cast aside for disaster
Calamity so dreadful it was as fatal as a stab wound
A trepidation so repulsive with its awfulness
It feels like being in a nightmare,
Terrifying
When she looked at me, though…
I saw through the cool, calculating gaze
Into the heart where there had once lived
A child of five, all giggles and smiles
Alive with the joy of silliness, …
I saw, beneath the ice in the veins
The warmth of a heart who was living
… with excruciating pain
Pick-A-Title, Vol 30 - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Edward Ibeh
1.) Ice In the Veins
April 24, 2022
Categories:
phlegm, anger, angst, anxiety, dark,
Form:
Free verse
once i had footprints as tattoos
the art was tasteless
the seed was a hateful hoax
once i had phlegm laced spit in every hair follicle
the gleam was unattractive
the roots were unbalanced and unevenly growing
once i had gnats fronting as a jazz band predominately playing dirges
the rhythm was a compulsive liar
the melody was basically a malady
then you came along
you saw me in all chapters of unkempt
you dried my tears
you gave me shelter
you made me pray with you
you Loved me to Wellness
now i am a better man
now i am smelling like lavender and vanilla
now my heart is richer than my many big pictures
now i know the true meaning of Prosperous Gratitude
now i know what it really feels like to be Definitively Loved
Now I Thank God and Give Him Praise For You.....
now i must go and get myself together and get ready
her funeral starts at 11am
her last words to me were 'You Blessed My Life By My Saving Yours'
Treasure The Pleasure Of God's Blessings......
Categories:
phlegm, memory, remember, tribute,
Form:
Free verse
My nose is redder than red
The flu has put me in bed
I sniffle and drip
I can’t get a grip
For there’s pure lead in my head
Coughed up a poem or two
That might not make sense to you
The germs and the phlegm
Have covered this gem
Clean it, for it is…true blue!
It’s been a miserable day
Been grumpy all the way
But for this great SOUP
You guys are the scoup
Much better than meds…. I’ll say!
Eileen Manassian Ghali
Categories:
phlegm, health, sympathy,
Form:
Limerick
Diaspora that cant go home
Mum and Dad came on boats not grand
They left the sun behind
To the old country to lend a hand
replacing uncertainty and find
Prosperity, erase the poverty of native land
And we’ll send money back home.
They were met with sticks and stones
Were broken, not just their bones
Wogs and minstrels they were called
In Harsh winters and damp ghettos hauled,
unfamiliar foods and hapless children
Tears flowed inside and years out,
From broken ribs phlegm does spout
Husband’s and fathers ruled with fists
Paraffin fires took lives of kids
Benefits to small to feed and clothe
Necessitate a hustle to cope
And depression became the reward
Misery slapped hard onto every face
No pubs to ail our weary souls
This old country is a hard hard place
Welfare killed all dreams and hopes
Drugs and anecdotes became our lot
Newer immigrants got the jackpot
Penniless and broke, Too ashamed to go home
No riches to share, not welcomed, disowned.
Categories:
phlegm, immigration, life,
Form:
Free verse
POLITICS
Politicians
base tacticians
no shame accrues for them.
They vote for war
then tax us more
Their lies spew forth like phlegm.
Categories:
phlegm, political,
Form:
Clerihew
Hawk-teuchin - spitting up phlegm
Nimmer - dinner
Gundie-guts - fat slobs
Mickle-moud - great big mouth
Sachleasly - Innocently
Muckle herts - big hearts
Rabbie wis hawk-teuchin frae the back o’ his sare throat,
Afore he gave his efter nimmer speech.
He said tae the landed gentry, “ye’re a set o’ gundie-guts,
But far be it frae me tae staund up here an’ preach.
Ye ken ah’ve stacks o’ gumption fur ye widna asked me by
Tae render words o’ prose frae ma mickle-moud:
Sae sachleasly ah’ll spout ma rhyming ware fur ye,
It’ll mak yer muckle herts feel staunch an’ proud.”
Categories:
phlegm, funny, history, imagination, socialme,
Form:
Verse
Blood sucking leeches
They suck until you're blue
Robbing nectar from your peaches
From the day you say I do
They believe you want to fit in
Boy are they mistaken
You would rather swallow phlegm
Than eat the family bacon
To the females, you are prey
To the men, a face to lecture
Derived from a good lay
Preceded by a nice gesture
Once referred to as an outlaw
Rather than Inlaw, you see
Blinded to the stupidity I saw
They laughed hysterically
It's just how the cookie crumbles
After my third rodeo
Every player fumbles
No matter how great the throw
Categories:
phlegm, family,
Form:
Free verse
My animal was hinting again,
staring at me in the den,
taking my meds,
he begged and pled,
could he be stuffed with a lot of phlegm?
12-9-16
Categories:
phlegm, animal, humor,
Form:
Limerick
There’s a Zose in my nose
And it smells like blue cheese
I try to doze but the Zose
Just won’t let me be
It never goes when I blows
Though it makes me wheeze
I must dispose of that Zose
So I can catch some zees
But it knows what’s proposed
Leaving me ill at ease
Still I throws my elbows
Right into its knees
Then wrap bows on its toes
And give them a squeeze
But it shows that it knows
My lack of esprit
Coz it grows where phlegm flows
Making me sneeze
So I pinch close my nose
Plus whisper pretty please
Until it chose to fling woes
On my sister Louise
Categories:
phlegm, fun, imagination, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
“Mirrors are liars” said a goblin,
As he perched upon my neck,
“What you see is in reverse,
A deception disguised in two glass specks.”
I scoffed at the goblin who pretends himself real,
Did I do acid and not even know?
For a fantasy upon my shoulders kneels,
Revealing to me what I should show.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Reveal to me the lie in my eyeball.
“What you see is what you get,”
It spat with furious phlegm, foul and wet.
I scoffed at the mirror who pretends itself alive,
What did I do to deserve such sights?
No beauty in the Beast in my mind of hives,
Stinging tensed shoulders and eyes without light.
The goblin grinned at the glass made for reflection,
And they each agreed in congratulatory glee,
As I stood dumbstruck in confused introspection,
At a fantasized creature and inanimate object celebrate the sorrow in me.
Categories:
phlegm, character, conflict, fantasy, imagination,
Form:
Rhyme
IF YOU PULL A LONG FACE : Part XXIV
IF you pull that long martyred face
While brake-disks hiss howl metal-doors click-clutch-cluck on railway
No Tokyo masks nor hand darts to protect the homefront populace
Breeding grounds Underground cooking love-cold soup bacteriae
If you pull that damnit I've-caught-it again long distressed face
Between fleeing Metro stations unable to turn your face away
Holding breath in terror fumigating in deadly solipsistic silence
Which year's vaccination failed to mutate and antidotes convey
If you pull that long contorted villified face
Sandwiched between leaking semen sweat coughing sonorous spray
Bacteria exploding tout azimut in jolting standing wool-crammed space
Smiles stuck in smart-phones fingers deftly messaging con-art display
If you then pull that fully-drenched long face
Face to face with guys who repress no more pent-up phlegm volley
Adding to that splash short staccato sharp poop-stench promise
Who nurses not nor lodges the germinating common denominator heir
Yet if you must pull that long innoculated face
Remember the doctor the nurse the pharmacist all give willing way
To the vast multi-national over/under the counter panacea commerce
To keep the influenza germ indoors at soaring fever pitch - Hurray !
© T. Wignesan - Paris, January 25, 2019
Categories:
phlegm, bridal shower, crush, fun,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
I, Oracle tool of eternal, placid in mental state.
High-intellect mortal, dropping parables to educate.
Special emotional properties, concepts of four elements.
Fire; earth; wind; water, mind on matter transcendents.
Fire akin to blood, therein lies real passion.
Air present in yellow bile, links of wrathful emotion.
Water manifest in phlegm, too much produce laziness.
Earth found in black bile, associates of sadness.
Telepathic capabilities, enhancement of perception.
Supernatural abilities, sheer mind submission.
Mixed cause and effect, experimental backward mask.
Image shown to subject, tenth of a second the task.
First picture displayed, ultrasensory perception.
Second subliminal image, recalling jiffy forgotten.
Utilize the enhanced, nothing but natural.
Subconscious skill possessed, to absorb more subtle signal.
Desire overriding reason, inner darkness of humanity.
Nature and nurture function, sexually obsessed mentality.
Attempts to explain marvels, visible through naked eyes.
Ubiquitous superpower, shattering inquiring minds.
Head and facial movements, most info' effective.
Eminent emotions expressed, all but instinctive.
Familial body language, few employ it consciously.
Nonverbal communication, many exercise it subconsciously.
Categories:
phlegm, imagination, inspirational, mystery, passion,
Form:
Quatrain
Habits are hard to break
Makes no difference good or bad,
Entrenched, they problems make
When problems, make us sad.
Habits steal our freedom
Got to find time to indulge them,
Make us believe we need ‘em
Even when hacking up phlegm!
written December 27, 2021
Categories:
phlegm, how i feel, humor,
Form:
Rhyme