Best Oaf Poems

Paula Deen the Butter Queen

By Elton Camp and María Camp

She is the butter makers’ delight
To nutritionists, she is a fright
Krispy Kreme with eggs and bacon
Great...

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Zillion supporters screaming, a loud buzz,
 Yearning to return home cheered by victory.
 Xerox machines preparing the next day’s papers; Max
 Wit for the shame...

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'Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all of its ado and congestion.
I'd consumed too much turkey and pie and due to its ingestion,
Today, I'm suffering...

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The Football Major

By Elton Camp

Though the big oaf can kick a football so high,
Of skills for college work, he lacks a good supply
The old saying...

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She wonders where to go, clueless in her ceramic cage,
with octaves oceanic (there's an oaf in my ocarina)
But Oh! Her delight when her Breather goes...

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Perky, pesky, pretty-petite;
yippy, yappy, always-in-need-of-a-treat.
Loving, lazy, little-lump;
Cutie, cuddly, see-how-high-I-can-jump?
Spoiled, sneaky, snacky snoot,
Munching on old chips, teething on mum's leather boot,
overly-sweet, oogling oaf,
maybe-just-a-bite-or-perhaps-the-whole-loaf....

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She was longing for her creamy donut
To linger long on her tongue,
She squeezed the sides and to her surprise
It squirted all over her bum.

The big...

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A luv ma life sae full o' joy,
I keep ma interests at full employ.
Each day fur me is sic' delight,
every day, aw' day an' ivery...

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Oaf 
                       ...

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Devonshire tea with Peter an' Beryl, beware,
it's no the fact that Peter disnae care.
But 88 years doon the track o' life,
an' 84 years fur Beryl,...

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Violence and demonstration is 
Not an easy route to break frustration, rejection
Bounce back on hardship and dismantle disappointment.
It's not an easy route to betray suffering...

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Hello?
I like to get six + 9 ??Are you??????
schlepping writer,?? natural body and laid-back vibe?? 
I'm all about therapeutic touch via nuts and life of bee dogged...

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Jean, Jean wis young an' alive till Ah gied her tatties and neeps;
Noo she's bein' seek as a dug, it fairly gies me the creeps.

Bonnie...

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(Continued from part one.)

Afire not his thoughts, the Devil sees,
He soars and roars, in his physical might.
His bears’ hug, his warmth, could melt you;
Into joys...

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a lit Lucifer
falls from a fumbling fist
the burned oaf gawks...

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