Best Newt Poems

Higgledy-piggledy
Newt Gingrich
So loved his country
He betrayed his wife.
Whilst berating Bill Clinton
Incontrovertibly.
His run for presidency
Now full of strife....

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I must state
That I am great,
I have a crest,
I’m simply the best.
Oh yes – I’m a Great Crested Newt!

I am brownish black,
With warts all over my back,
My orange tum has black spots
It looks just like join-the-dots.
Oh my – I’m a Great Crested Newt!

If I lose...

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Terrorism conjures fear
Like witches stir a brew.
Both have dire circumstances
When the day is through.

Bombs that blow and planes that crash
From devious devices
Are the modern eyes of newt,
Which crones toss in as spices.

Panic percolates and boils
And fills our souls with dread.
Beefing up defenses
Makes us paranoid instead.

Terrorists...

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Stay away from a rough-skinned newt
Their poison skin is deadly, it will make you toot.
Better to linger near an angry bandicoot.
Or go to Sam’s house and watch him play his flute.
If the newt comes near you, run off and hide.
His poison skin is deadlier than...

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