Best Nav Poems
I don’t believe there is such a thing as a mirror,
Because this so called reflection is not really me.
I think he is a stranger that moved into my house,
For the man that I see is somewhat, ugly.
I think he built this life size window
To spy on everything that I do
And I can tell you he is beginning pissing me off
I can feel my anger’s starting to brew
Once I moved to the side of the window
And he disappeared out of sight
What I could see a part of his room
Gave me an terrible fright
The bugger’s been to the same shop
And bought the same things I have
The bed, cupboards and lamp shades
And on the table he even has the same Sat. Nav.
I peeped into this window
With the hope to catch him off guard
But there he was looking at me
Staring just as hard
I stood in front of the loser and cussed the most colourful words
The monkey aped every action even the moving of his lips
Then it dawned on me that he wore the same clothes
In the same pose with his hands on his hips
So infuriated, I punched the window
And ended his years of peeping tom jeer
However, the bugger is now haunting me
In every glass I happen to peer
Categories:
nav, funnyme, me,
Form:
Rhyme
You know, I thought changing one’s job would be easy,
To start a new vocation would be breezy.
I got me local newspaper, looking for a job as a sparky, (electrician)
But I said “what the F-ck, these ads were written by a sarky.”
The first job was an “Almond Knocker,”
Now this sounds as sleazy as sniffing used jockstraps in a locker.
Who wants to look for an almond the shape of a woman’s top half of her anatomy,
But, looking at women’s breast to find one that looks like an almond, appeals to me.
The second job was a “Blind Hooker,”
Now what can I say, that’s a woman’s job and boy she’ll have to be a looker.
She would be the cheapest thrill you’d ever have
You can imagine the police chasing her as she is lead by her all eye seeing sat nav.
Nope not for me…
Uuhh! Here’s one for me, “Bosom Presser”
Squeeeezing them breasts from the largest to the lesser.
I gave them a call straight away
Only to find out the job was not really that way
Dam!
The next one was, what the f-ck? a “Dike Stoneman”
Well I don’t think any man can
This must be a woman bouncer for a happy club ( I hope this is more politically
correct than saying “Gay”)
The one you greet say “Hey Bud”
Well later I googled the titles and yes you right, I was wrong,
I suppose me old job will be lifelong
Overworked, under paid
Oversexed under laid
Here are a few more jobs I came across, an “Egg Smeller, Chicken Sexer, Pillow Girl
:-) , Butt maker, , Fire Drier (never heard of wet fire) and for all you animal lovers out
there, Frog Shaker, Monkey Tail Puller and those who don’t change their underwear,
a Skid Marker
Categories:
nav, funny, life, workme,
Form:
Rhyme
Santa omitted to visit our town
Christmas Day was so sad ; all the kiddies let down .
Parents were livid and they all could remember
That letters were sent in early November .
No dolls prams or buggies or nice , brand new clothes
Transformers or train sets , skates or GI Joes.
Just what had happened to cause this great blunder.
It wreaked havoc and chaos ; tore families asunder .
No new dvds or Ipods to tune .
No bikes or small trikes to clutter the room .
So what happened Rudolf and his big radar nose
To guide him on roof-tops ; nobody knows .
Seems , he went on the razz , 2 days before " Eve " .
Got a chill in his nose , so we believe ,
And lost all scent of direction ; the great stupid berk .
The excuse , we got was - " his sat-nav don't work " . !!!
Inspired by Carolyn's Christmas home-town contest .
Categories:
nav, funny
Form:
Rhyme
I thank all Participants in my endeavor to create a POETRYSOUP Dictionary I f YOU do not
see Your word yet Please be Patient I was not expecting such a Great response You may
send in more than one word(per : Brian Strand, Dane Ann, and Sean Kelly) Thank-YOU
Again YOUR POETRY Brother ALWAYS...HG
Coffee --- The Person Upon Whom You Cough --- Sean Kelly
Flabbergasted --- Appalled At The Extra Weight I've Gained --- Sean Kelly
Hollywood --- Decorative Christmas Forest --- Sean Kelly
Reliable --- Being Able To Successfully Tell Untruths ---Sean Kelly
Hypnosis --- Your Sister Who Refuses Her Hip Operation --- Sean Kelly
Coffee --- Life's Spark Plug --- Karen O'Leary
Wallflower --- Take Five - Hand Jive --- Brian Strand
Bank Promissory Note --- My Gosh, What Tosh --- Brian Strand
Clueless --- Oh No - Clouseau --- Brian Strand
Futures Trading --- I Bet - You Sweat --- Brian Strand
Still Life --- Tableau Stage Show --- Briand Strand
Hobo --- No Bread - in Shed ---Brian Strand
Taize-Rondo --- Sung Low ---Brian Strand
Chaplin --- No Sound Around --- Brian Strand
Rsvp --- See You - Chez Nous --- Brian strand
Veni, Vedi, Vici --- Old Ode, In Code --- Brian Strand
Dear John --- Sweetheart, We Part --- Brian Strand
C A I - Misspell - Ssh Don't Tell --- Briand Strand
One Party State --- I Choose - You Loose ---Brian Strand
Conredanse --- Line Dance - In France --- Brian Strand
Democracy --- Fair Do's -You Choose --- Briand
Charleston --- Kick Feet - Off Beat ---Briand Strand
WIKIPEDIA --- Free Facts - Unpacked ---Briand Strand
Blog (1) --- Essay Today --- Brian Strand
Blog (2) --- Bio To Show --- Brian Strand
Solid State --- Opacity Capacity --- Robert A. Dufresne
Not Fit For Purpose --- Useless, I Guess --- Brian Strand
Off The Record --- You Wrote My Note --- Brian Strand
Press Release --- Off Pat - No Chat --- Brian Strand
Intuition --- Sat - Nav Less --- Brian Strand
Xylophone --- Music's Home --- Dane Ann
X-Ray --- Bone Inspector --- Dane Ann
Zeal --- Eagerness Squeal --- Dane Ann
Zoo --- Animal Crew --- Dane Ann
Categories:
nav, education, family, friendship, funny
Form:
Light Verse
I had a call from Santa
He said he will be late
He's lost his sat-nav in the snow
And Rudolph's in a state.
Rudolph had an idea
He said why don't we pray
For God created Christmas
I'm sure He'll guide our sleigh.
So Rudolph and Santa prayed to God
And asked Him to guide their sleigh
And make sure the children everywhere
Got their presents on Christmas day.
God answered Rudolph and Santa's prayer
And Christmas was really great
The children received their presents on time
Because Santa was never late.
Categories:
nav, faith, childrenchristmas, children, christmas,
Form:
Rhyme
A Poem on New Hopes - In English & Hindi
A poem on a face book Photo- https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1577353368981972&set=a.114474218603235.25716.100001219732381&type=3&theater
.
In the smile of these faces
How many bountiful pleasures blooms
Overwhelmed with the joy of new light
These new buds are full of hopes.
Let no one clip their
Their gentle flying neo-wings
O' new generation be united
To save their hopes and ambitions.
And then only India will become
A beautiful pleasing garden
Then only all the winds will be
Full of pleasing fragrance
When every corner of this garden
Would bloom with flowers and buds.
Ravindra K Kapoor
Kanpur India 299th Sept. 2017
In Hindi -
in cheharon kee muskaraahat mein
kitane besumaar khushiyaan hain
ink nayee roshanee se saraabor
hai maasoom si ye nav kaliyaan
koee katarane na pae in ke
komal nav pankhon kee udaan
.
in khushiyon ke ummeedon ko bachaanaa hai
nayee peedhee tumhen mil jul ke
tabhee banaga bhaarat ek chaman
sa khushagavaar aur khushanuma
keval tab mahakengee ye phijaen
aur chaman kee sab bagiyaan
jab har kone mein muskuraenge
aise mahakate phool aur kaliyaan."
Ravindra K Kapoor
Kanpur 29th Sept. 2017
Categories:
nav, hope, inspirational,
Form:
Free verse
Its My car
Thousands of miles together we travelled
maps then a sat nav journeys unravelled
collected all sorts, even went to the tip
bus into town, no in the car I'll just nip
MOT services tax, insurance as well
paying the bills down to me it all fell
Now at the end the bills just to big
think its all over I have to admit
one last journey together we made
down to the scrapers only I walked away
the end of this tale is not very nice
travelling on roads comes at a price
pounds shillings and pence me it did cost
but for my beautiful car its life was lost...
Categories:
nav, car, depression, humor, loss,
Form:
Ballad
3.28 parsec out
We’re making an impromptu flight change
Windstar is gonna have to make
a low-grav burn and turn
towards the Big Rocky asteroid belt border
It’s a risky nav maneuver for sure,
but every space outlaw has faced that situation before
We got pesky corporate police on our tail,
time to power down, run silent on dual trilitium cells
Pai-du Jerah
I’m the drawn short-straw captain of this motley crew,
they respect me with a razor edge
I’ve sacrificed my life a time or two for them,
I get the necessary begrudge ... but no flak,
when I tell them what we gotta do
My number one right hand is a woman
I wouldn’t look too hard at her, pal,
if you know what’s best for your health
Vydrikia, she’s a long purple-haired, gen-eng vixen,
with tripwire anger issues
She smiles dismissively at me,
as she unstraps her NB (nuke blast) pulse gun
Says the next time I mess with her,
she just might not have it set on stun
I know the crew is prickly raw, that they want a little r & r ...
but we’ve got an interstellar new gov hush-hush delivery to make
And this nasty job, we gotta see it through —
if we wanna get paid that five zil Galaxian credit
Don’t wanna hear none of that mission impossible talk
Our motto is:
Evade or pear starjuice cajole
Be prepared for any planetary orbital patrol
We’re space outlaws
When we drop out of hyperspace —
whatever you do,
vigilante solar citizens ...
don’t get in our way!
That’s one reward that ain’t worth dying for
We wear both hats;
sometimes we’re the good guys,
sometimes we’re on the other side
It depends on what the pay is,
depends on what the fight is too
Some say we ain’t nothing but paid mercs
When swiping the untraceable credit disk,
we love giving the mean smirks
We can be your best friend,
we can be your worst enemy
But oft times, we’re in the middle somewhere
Space outlaws don’t much care
Categories:
nav, adventure, science fiction, space,
Form:
Free verse
Invisible
I see you,
And all those people
Rushing about,
Going here,
Going there,
Going somewhere
That
isn't
there,
As if time
Was running out............
Or perhaps you might
Miss something,
It must be important,
You've forgotten
To notice me.
Blinkered vision,
One direction,
Autopilot,
Sat nav,
Kiss the wife,
Kiss the kids,
Kiss reality goodbye.
Thinking..........
Always thinking,
Work,
Sales,
Work,
Shopping,
Work,
Lunch,
Work
Yourself
Into
The
Ground,
It must be important work,
You've forgotten
To acknowledge me.
I'm the quiet one
Sipping coffee,
Eating cake,
Watching
You,
Watching
People
Rushing about.
I am contemplating
A crossword;
Seven across, busy,
Two down, urgent,
Eleven across, blinkered,
Ten down, robotic,
One across the street
Someone across the street
Stopped and looked at me,
I'm not sure if you saw me,
"Hello, it's me!
Don't you see?
I am here!
I am here"
I am the one you ignore,
I am conversation you never had,
I am the child you smacked,
I am the person you live with,
I am the friend you don't see,
I am the life you had,
I am the stranger
You've become,
I am com pli cated,
Compassionate,
Empathic,
Lonely,
Existing.
Sometimes..........
I'm important,
Sometimes..........
Not,
Sometimes..........
I think I'm an alien,
Sometimes..........
I am,
Mostly..........
I
Am
Invisible.
Categories:
nav, spoken word,
Form:
Free verse
Abu-deeni,
Zekarian space queen
Ruler of the sacred realm,
where resides the seven suns
that encircles the vast
Irthendai nebula islands
She, of regal royalty,
holds the scepter of cosmic fire
The energy of a thousand volcano clouds
crackles at the raising of her fearsome rod:
A theta wave imprinted weapon,
which only she can wield and power down
Abu-deeni,
a righteous warrior queen
Wears a transmuting armor
that can change into any density
Her Cergigon mag-nav boots
makes her supreme master of gravity
She commands the Nth dimension knights,
they of unwavering loyalty
So many life-and-death decisions
by this queen are never taken lightly
Abu-deeni,
daughter of Xandar and Bei-hou
Royal seed from the fourth root
Chosen to lead, for she was the first to speak
prophecy at the passing rite of her youth
It was said by the keepers of the Mist Veil,
that a mighty she-Kartaga bird would be born
And her life flight would burn brighter than the seven suns
That she would meet a soulmate
from a distant place of unknown origin ...
A supreme adaptive being from a species called Ooman
Abu-deeni,
Zekarian warrior queen
Helped her Ooman future husband
destroy his enemies’ flying metal machines
Then with their combined strength, put an end
to the Hordes of the Void cosmic idol worshiping
Abu-deeni and Abel-adem
had a baby half-Ooman, half-Zekarian
It was a resplendent Golden Era of Xeno Tolerance;
that ushered in the eve of Edenic love,
and eons of universal enlightenment
Categories:
nav, adventure, imagination, science fiction,
Form:
Epic
Santa's lost his sat nav
And does not know what to do
"Why did I choose technology,
Old ways are best, it's true"
He's in a bit of bother
And with Christmas drawing near
He cannot help but wonder
If he'll get to spread his Christmas cheer
Mrs Claus has helped him in his search
The elves have helped look too
But nobody has had much luck
"Oh what am I to do"
"I could always ring old Rudolph,
He might be free to lend a hand,
After all he was my guiding light
And delivered well on my command"
So Santa rang dear Rudolph
And told him of his plight
Rudolph was quite keen to help
He couldn't wait to lead the flight
On Christmas Eve they all set off
Gliding high up in the sky
Santa had forgotten
How well Rudolph helped them fly
It was then that he decided
He would stick to his reindeer
And forget about his sat nav
When spreading Christmas cheer
So if in the sky on Christmas Eve
You see a flashing light
It could be that you've just witnessed
Rudolphs nose still shining bright
Categories:
nav, christmas, funny, christmas, christmas,
Form:
Rhyme
THREE KINGS IN SEARCH OF NEW AGONG
So you see lah! dese three big noise fellas come last time outstation
To Judea now got Israel - visa ready, (back-hand donation)
Dey pretty dam clever also high class, all got top degrees,
Not China cheap stuff, in their country they sure da bees knees
Dey know which way go. No sat nav, but got big shiny star
Like North South highway sign, it bring dem a long way so far
So dey come wofore lah? I tell you. Dey look for new born King
Not just Sultan; dis super-king - big Agong one, extra bling
Now dey askin "Where got new Agong lah? "- dey get dis reply:
“You dam stupid ah! Got king already, an’ he one mean guy”
He not want no takeover, you better stay clear his domain
So dey get back on camels an follow big star again.
Pretty soon star stop over big wood Atap animal godown
Dey think: "Dis not for Agong, like Ritz or da Hilton up town
Master bateroom, sweet bathrom including free breakfast buffet
Dey decide to go look-see, dey tarik the door anyway
Inside all dark an smelly (what expect with cows, sheep an’ goats lah!)
Two smart fellas go cautious to small light in dark corner far
Da third one not careful; he step on big iron rake Waah!
Sure not clever - rake stick in foot, swing up - hit nose - sees more star
In dat hurt-him-bad moment he feels that his nose has been diced
He cry out in the darkness: “OMG! - Ayah! JESUS CHRIST!”
All go quiet. Beasts stop moo, baa, chew, grunt, fart, hush deep like heaven
Den small voice say "Dat's a good name lah! Maybe we not call him Kevin”
Categories:
nav, allusion, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Standing here feeling the constancy of the trade winds blowing my hair around
I marvel at the bright whiteness of the birds flying in their madly screaming love of
life
Again I try to focus on one. It’s a futile task for even my young eyes
How they can go through these intricate maneuvers without colliding is amazing
The tarmac is white with their waste and once more I thank them for their
consideration
Soon I too will be aloft flying in the false darkness of a super Constellation radar
patrol plane
Watching Russian “trawlers” and the “whales” that sometimes accompany them
We’ve used them as navigational aids on the way back from the Aluetians to this
white sand dot called Midway
Their constant patrolling has helped many a time when the day clouds in and
Nav can’t get a sunline. The same two eyes that can’t keep up with
a gull have found us the way home.
Scope doping, manning a line of defense, flying thru all weather conditions,
a wall of planes, ten eyes each ,doing sentry duty in relative comfort
Days of boredom seconds of terror It improves my poolgame plays hell with my
poker skills (folding sucks) and makes 3 2 beer taste okay while we play soft ball
awaiting the next flight Three more then it’s back to Honolulu
What will it be like remembering these perfect beaches and awesome sunsets
when I’m old and forty Will this Elvis rock still be around?
I wonder if England has any country singers
Nah! Who’d under stand them?
Categories:
nav, history, flying,
Form:
Free verse
ENCYCLOPAEDIA
A - BOA, is where I found stuff on Asian midges
BOA – CON showed me the way they build bridges
COO – FLO was a cooking lesson in foods sweet and spicy
FLO - ISIS flu meant influenza – a major discovery
ISIS – NAV all the details of Naval history
NAV – SCA the first encounter with radiant energy
SCA – ZWI simply meant understanding syzygy
Categories:
nav, childhood, education, imagination, nostalgia,
Form:
List
Jingle Bells
Jingle bells, Jingle bells,
Which way did Santa go?
I have not seen his sleigh tonight
Is he lost in mist and snow?
I have not heard his reindeer,
The chimney has been cleaned,
There’s mince pies in the fireplace
For Covid was he screened?
We have left an Argos voucher
To buy a brand new sleigh
And Rudolph’s got a Sat Nav
To help him on his way.
Jingle bells, Jingle bells
Which way did Santa go
Will he be here tonight,
Does anybody know?
Barry Stebbings
Dec. 2022
Categories:
nav, christmas,
Form:
Light Verse