Best Missus Poems

Fires at a blue pills lab threw up a cloud
Settling over the town like a great shroud
And this gigantic mushroom 
Created a baby boom
Because all...

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I’m sick of hearing from old Bill that I’m a whimpish sort of bloke,
Because I don’t care for rodeo’s and can’t relate to outback folk,
That...

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Modern Life
We are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
Except Monday mornings and Sunday nights.
What are they on about, at this place that...

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He sat there in his fav'rite chair, a blanket 'cross his lap 
And covering his snow white hair was his old fishing cap. 
I knew...

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Poor Santa Claus encountered a delay
          There was thick fog that made him lose his way
...

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The doc says I need a vacation
My energy just can't be rationed
Seems there's been some depletion
  leading to get-up-and-go secretion

He told me to take...

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Bugger 
17th July 2015

Last night my missus gave me some oysters for tea
Was I in for a night of rip snorting whoopee?
I showered and shaved...

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Aaarrhhh!
You say it's not working again, dear
Curse that piece of metal junk,
it only works on Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Part-time dishwashing machine ...
and half of the...

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Think Again

I think of stuff all day
I think of stuff all night
Sometimes I think stupid
Sometimes I think bright
But I never think it wrong
Cos I am...

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For Laura

She suffered in silence from the years of abuse
If not for the violence she felt of no use
She denied that her soul was addicted...

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Holidays can put a lot of miles
on the gastronomical tread ...
That last slice of cake
will have you wobbling to bed
So you better hope you’re at...

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Aunt Sally Is 80

Well, my family calls me Aunt Sally;
I never was a missus.
I travelled with a disabled colonel,
As a nurse, until

My sister and I...

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Of all the flamin’ rotten luck I said alighting from me van;
kicked the wheel holding the flat to upset our touring plan.
We’re miles away from...

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Impossible mission to sleep on opposite side of marital bed...

Oddly enough even 
when frolicking in the autumn mist
with seasoned super tramping 
cheaply tricked out goo...

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Bronco Don Johnson and Bally Watson...

Oh they speak of Bally Watson and the Dirran boys don't laugh...
Yet they tell in whispers how his ear was...

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