Best Missus Poems

Sad movies end with tears flowing
freely from her misty blue eyes.
And every romantic moment,
culminates in moans and soft sighs.

My friend and the source of my strength,
she nurtures my hopes as they climb.
For she's the rock that I cling to,
when dreams are swept away by time.

She...

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Oh St. Nick 
For you I have a wish 
Something big and shiny
Please don’t make it tiny
Make sure it’s the perfect fit
Or I’ll surely have a fit
I had one before
But at that time I didn’t know what I was in for
When I saw it in...

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Ugh, Why Must The Missus Vacuum At The Crack Of Dawn?
(circa: early December 27, 2018 morning)

There appears to be a
virulent (possibly deadly) strain
of housekeeping virus
Hoover ring in the air
asymptomatic tentatively linked to rein
deer droppings (micro-organisms) blare

ring and trumpeting beyond
the threshold to humans, though plain
lee send...

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The missus unflagging crocheting efforts as Betsy Ross incarnate

With needle in hand incorporating love
in every single crochet stitch
that's my wife
tad more'n a quarter century ago
then newlywed to yours truly
slowly, magically but inexorably
transforming skein of yarn
into requested end product
of her tastefully done choice.

Eventual inchoate objective
will become...

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Santa Claus departs with his wife in fear
Not occasionally, but every year,
That he’ll slip and fall
And breaking his jaw,
Put himself out of commission, Oh dear! 

Written November 27, 2022
Submitted to "Holiday Limerick" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
10/10/5/5/10 by HMS...

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When Santa said, "I'm DONE, my Dear,
replace me and bring me great cheer,”
he showed he’s unfair.
No woman would wear
the same outfit year after year!

howmanysyllables.com     8  8  5  5  8


December 15, 2022
Contest Title: A Funny Santa Limerick ...

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Beddie bye boo ski time for yours truly and/or the missus

Found us abed thee twelfth day
of December, cuz yours truly 
still felt dehydration, physical 
fatigue and soreness,
which possibly linkedin
to using stationary bicycle.

Our bed (mine and the wife), 
I arbitrarily describe as double wide 
mine traditional...

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The missus pounded mine posterior...
causing percussive rumpus 
to vibrate like jelly

Me experienced quite disruptive sleep
(quite early in the morning 
of November 10th 2022 -
no shut eye could I keep),
hence though exhausted, I share
childlike trait of mine spouse
insufferable playfulness finds me
ready to collapse in a heap.

Missus...

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(which above frolicsome gambit I mastered)
After mine wife
asks for this, that
or something else rife
with intent to provide barrel of laughs,
(likened to barrel of monkeys)
yours truly crafts
description how we share mirth

validating how our respective worth
matters each to the other acting childlike
to stave off altercations
that might come...

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October 16th, 2018, A Day At The Market With The Missus

Oft times zee spouse
     lingers at select
     supermarkets (Landis, Redners, 
     and/or Wegmans) without me
(figuratively) taking
     all the time...

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The missus upstages Grosse and Quade at unit b44...
for upcoming June 2023 inspection/violation.

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling...

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Hanging pictures today February 5th, 2021 with the missus...
(in an attempt to cover up (overlay) fruit fly waste byproduct)

At four feet eleven (fifty nine inches),
the spouse longitudinally challenged
hence she browbeats her husband,
(who only stands five feet ten inches)
but boosted in height
courtesy lightweight bench.

He gingerly maneuvers...

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How unappealing... the missus went bananas
courtesy hurling mandarin oranges.

Yes quite juvenile
unladylike childlike behaviour,
mine wife oft times doth display,
I do not deplore

yours truly reckons
tis futile effort causing furore
aye attest bull
in china shop incorrigible hardcore
exhibited by spouse

out of bounds antics bon jour
earlier within marriage
shenanigans twas the stuff
back...

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The missus served me high test coffee...

Ah... tis nothing more heavenly 
(to one borne again devout atheist)
then a spring like January 18th, 2023
here at Highland Manor apartments
picturesque green covered landscape,
where intrepid dandelions 
dare to defy month day on calendar
and sprout up here and there.

Resident wordsmith...

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(***warning ungapatchka language ahead***)

Flush with rage the spouse will become allied
if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder
altercation especially likely if divorce blurted
making me wish to experience (immediately)
bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth
nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy
predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant
interest to maintain can-do...

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