Best Lobbyists Poems
Well, I see that Congress is proposin' another trillion dollar spree!
Those inept buffoons must think money grows upon a tree!
The treasury is crankin' out bales of twenty-dollar bills,
Doin' their part to cure (and inflate) the nation's many ills!
Funds were 'loaned' to help carmakers, now they're hollerin' fer more!
A ton of dough was 'loaned' to banks, but ain't nobody keepin' score!
Millions was designated to help home foreclosures to abate.
Where has my money gone? I've seen minimal results to date!
Funds are proposed fer more sand fer the beaches of New Joisey,
And city officials want a water park out west in frigid Boise!
Frenzied lobbyists are scurryin' about fer a portion of the pork,
To build an emergency landin' strip on the Hudson in New York!
Money is probably well-spent fer roads, bridges and agin' sewers,
But spare me the cost of subsidizin' sports arenas and sozzled brewers.
Lack of foresight by the banks and politicians got us in this mess,
Now they cover their boondoggles with my money, nonetheless!
Hordes of politicians gleefully gather at the bottomless trough,
Elbowin' others fer largesse they claim will make us better off.
Is there no end to compensatory spendin' and open-ended lendin'?
Hey! That's my money you fellers are so very inept at spendin'!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
lobbyists, funny, political, money,
Form:
Rhyme
The middle class here can't be saved
When 0.001% act so depraved
Their wealth without end
These royals* still pretend
Did not come from us—their
enslaved**
*The Royals: CEOs, Banksters, Revolving Door Regulators, The FED, Congressmen for sale, Lobbyists, Board Members of Big Corporations, Major Shareholders who vote for these Board
Members, Corrupt Managers, Dishonest Used Car Salesmen, Presidential Candidates with more than two Residences, Elected Presidents (and their lackeys who pretend to regulate but look the other way)
**The Enslaved: Workers, Career Regulators who are trying to protect the public, Honest Hard Working Citizens, Students--some with oppressive loans, Immigrants, Soldiers, Police, Firemen and Firewomen, Parents, Children, Orphans, Disabled, The Sick, Small Business Owners (who don’t hire lobbyists), Volunteers, Health Care Workers, Welfare Recipients, Inventors, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Actors, Artists, Journalists who do in-depth investigation (not like those with FOX News, ABC Radio or many other of the outlets where they mouth the status quo), Non Profit Corporations, Charities, Teachers, Transportation Workers, Waiters and Waitresses, Dishwashers, Servants, Farmers, Managers, Ship Hands, Cooks, Unemployed
Author' s Note: Have been at Occupy Wall Street 8 days in the past two months--which is why I haven't been here--plus I have to work. Miss you all, but it's for a good cause. I am very briefly seen on Conan's feature: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Occupy Wall Street if you are looking for some humor with a little umph.
Categories:
lobbyists, happiness, life, peace,
Form:
Limerick
The Bible says "thou shalt not kill"
now proudly join the army lad, and go kill,
come back home, and follow your Bible again.
O middle class, your fathers built your homes
with union help, now disperse those union halls
and happily work for minimum wage, six days a week,
chant bribed politicians working for hidden oligarchs
reaping 100 million dollar bonuses, crowded apartments
will suffice.
O Appalachians, your once proud mountaintops now
miles of desert, debauched by profiteers, unbridled by
regulations written by lobbyists, clothed in frothing
chemicals, drowning your despair in burgeoning liquor
stores.
O beautiful blufflands, along my Mississippi,
I see you now, your royal crowns
decapitated,
your limestone sand greedily slurped by
frac-monster gargoyles wearing saville row suits,
entombed in New York skyscrapers.
O broken occupiers, etch your days in Heaven,
on your jail cell wall.
Truths, all truths, build slowly,
but truth must fight on, for your children's children
will know you tried to save our people and planet!
...we must fight on!
....we will!
Categories:
lobbyists, faith, bible, bible,
Form:
Narrative
She says his company defrauded Medicare
He claims ties to lobbyists make her votes unfair
Her ads paint him out to be an evil anti-Christ
He states her integrity has been sacrificed
So how do we choose from candidates so evil
One has no morals; the other is a devil
No Mother Teresas in political races
And their ads don’t discuss the problems that face us
So I’ll write in Pat Paulson once again this year
And give the politicos that famous Bronx cheer
Written for the "Election Humor" contest
Categories:
lobbyists, political, satire
Form:
Rhyme
I’m a hate by-product,
made in America
I’m a plantation commodity item,
blue-eye gem slave engraved
in red clay walls Ivory bank vaults
I was silver dross reject packaged:
Prison cargo bar code stamped
coming to America
There’s no doubt about it,
I was fashioned here
by the free-market profiteering traffickers
They sell liberty propaganda lies,
and economic caste division worldwide
Got global many-me, slave waging
in a brave, New technological World
Laboring on noisy climate change thin ice
The only question is:
For your bottled silence,
what is the collaborating price?
I’m a fear by-product,
manufactured in America
Whatever your racial animus preference is,
you can buy on-line, prime patriotic hysteria ...
for the gutter low cost of a figure 8 black ball
My street value is worth a late 911 call,
trigger transactions get no refund
for any tin badge mortal damage caused
A morgue resale
happens every crimson clover fourth fall
I’m an ethnic waste by-product,
iron-oar dumped in America
The Black Plague of chained anger came
when they cattle branded me
with a new name
Been living depressed in ghetto bliss
four centuries as auction clerical
Sitting on a factory warehouse shelf ...
waiting to be placed on a death inventory list,
by the merchants of flesh trafficking
Human property owners and gun lobbyists;
those bought and concealed,
in some dark lord’s pocket,
are semi-trailer trash, automatic fire revealed
by unfretful fetter-some me
I’m a ricochet, re-defined bullet mind,
made in America
Flung on an upward trajectory
Categories:
lobbyists, identity, perspective, slavery, truth,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
Improved quality of food shall surely benefit man.
Quantity increases will feed the hungry and poor.
To the common man, at first, it sounds like the perfect plan.
Gene changed gorgeous fruits adorn the produce store.
Genetically changed super plants manipulate God’s world.
Seeming positive at first, scheming power at its worst --
Undermine the little man; devious research unfurled.
Appearing beneficial, redesign is by greed cursed.
Third world countries co-align as those in power hold their hands.
Their research advancements are supported from sea to seas.
Genetic exploration changes God designed croplands.
New producers thwart small farmers; they manipulate bees.
Homestead farmers feel the pain; sterile seeds do not grow plants.
Meanwhile the power hungry cannot quench greed’s growing thirst.
Generational practices work hard to keep their stance.
But into microscopic life new laws of order soon burst.
Lobbyists seek to stop homesteaders that grow their own crops.
Sterile seeds and dying bees are the super’s starting spot.
Rooftop beehives and small farm home-crops try to mend teardrops.
Changing God’s world is the backdrop to a shifting hilltop.
12/29/2018
FORM QUESTION: I know that this is written in quatrains, but there is a form for poems that try to influence reader's opinion ... or religion. What form is that? Does this poem fit in that form?
Categories:
lobbyists, creation, environment, farm, food,
Form:
When government spends more than it collects in taxes,
it borrows money from a central bank, and must pay it back with interest.
Government never has the money when the loan is due,
so the burden of this debt falls on the taxpayer, me and you.
When local banks need money, they also borrow from a central bank.
A $100.00 bond gets loaned out to its clients at 10 times the amount.
The central bank and local banks create money out of thin air.
There is nothing backing it, nothing substantial is there,
but when incompetent government defaults and local banks fail,
we the taxpayers must bail them all out, or face some time in jail.
The federal withholding from every blue collar worker's paycheck,
is not taxes, it is our weekly loan payment for this perpetual debt,
a debt we did not create nor do we deserve,
yet we keep feeding those parasites at The Federal Reserve,
a privately owned bank, governed by a handful of businessmen,
who have a stronghold on not just my country, but many worldwide nations.
These men hire untold numbers of lobbyists to put pressure on Washington,
to establish laws to protect their corrupt monetary system.
There are more laws on the books protecting their banks and corporations,
than there are laws protecting the human rights of our citizens.
Banking is in the business of manufacturing risk.
I say the risk is too great to allow banks and banking to continue to exist.
It is time for a new global emergent society,
governed by a Resource Based Economy.
Categories:
lobbyists, business,
Form:
Rhyme
Stern resolve, your oratory, spins a patriotic story
with strong, courageous, macho talk, somewhat at odds with how you walk.
A call to arms five times deferred; it was the option you preferred,
requiring someone BRAVE to face the chance of dieing in your place.
History shows you chose to go and pad your vast portfolio
collecting governmental fees from "Bean and Bullet" industries.
During 'Nam you chose to cower, money fueled your rise to power.
For lobbyists; the perfect ****. The coat tails of an idiot.
And now, with war, you've time to spend; picked up a gun and shot a friend.
Happy now; real men to lead, as long as there's no chance you'll bleed.
Off to Iraq, you've had your say, from one full continent away,
bravely practice your vocation, from an undisclosed location.
He does his leading from the rear, this man of action in the mirror,
To glory's beach verbosely storm, without that risky uniform.
A warrior, leader, wanna-be, the Chairborne ranger infantry.
A daffodil, its color fades, when placed between his shoulder blades.
Categories:
lobbyists, political, satire
Form:
Rhyme
Ignore my friend, ignore
work, work, work, hard,
40 hours to the corp,
20 hours to the family
and 40 to the drugs
you house is so nice
your car is better
40 to the corp
ignore the abuse,
slave labor in another country....
the blood, sweat, and tears....
You didnt do it, its the CEO
who makes those decisions.
Lobbyists supporting the war
wow, the profits, bonus for all..
Evil, abuse, pollution, war.
Make that check and run home.
20 to the family
Oh my beautiful children,
that hate me, but at least their fed well.
They dont value me, such stupid children
I work so hard for them,
My wife who doesnt like sex,
does that mean she doesnt love me?
I like it when we pretend,
we actually get along then,
please pretend some more,
that we love each other, please.
40 to the drugs
Television, Sports, video games, high fructose corn syrup,
chlorinated, flouridated water tastes so nice.
Caffiene, sugar, alcohol, nicotine
I still can't cope, anybody got some dope?
Damnit where is that rope?
The pharmacy can cure your pain,
and if not we can shock your brain.
This is my culture. I am sad for it, but am addicted to it.
Categories:
lobbyists, confusion, happiness, introspection, life,
Form:
(The Spanish conquerors of the
Americas read out their legal
document, the "Requerimiento",
to the Indians. Failure to comply
meant the Spanish were free to
do what they wanted.)
Conquistadors in Vera Cruz
found themselves a radical ruse.
If pillaging was muy, muy lento,
they just whipped out Requerimiento.
Composed in fifteen seventeen,
this document was ultra-mean.
It won more scraps than Robert E. Lee,
was deadlier than DDT.
Suppose you met an Aztec mob
that wasn't happy to be robbed,
and far from handing on a platter
its gold and silver, wives and daughters,
was minded to contest the matter,
Requerimiento got unrolled.
In legal Latin, gooks were told
with lots of quid and quod and quaem,
exactly what was sought of them.
The royal writ was read aloud
to help the puzzled Aztec crowd.
So none may later look askance,
the dinks got every sporting chance.
All the Aztecs had to do
(clause forty-nine of section two)
was pay the pope an entry fee,
accept infallibility,
and send some gold to line his coffers.
Who could baulk at such an offer?
Clause fifty-eight - the Spanish king
must get his cut of Aztec bling.
They're hazy over "king" and "Spain"?
We'll have long decades to explain.
They don't respond? It simply means
we blow them all to smithereens.
The finer points can wait till later.
Non-compliance means they're traitors.
We've read the thing, so now we're free
of all responsibility
for theft or damage, flood or fire,
and if perchance it should transpire
that they don't dig what's going down,
why, take it up with Cross and Crown.
Thank God it's not like that today.
Before we step into the fray,
we tell them they're a "conflict zone",
and send in laser-guided drones.
If they accept their crude religion
is now a dead and pointless pigeon,
and take divorce and teenage moms,
then we won't use our cluster bombs.
There's other stuff here, on our list -
like Coca-Cola, lobbyists,
The Dukes of Hazzard, John McCain,
obesity and acid rain ...
at least we don't do like before,
and sell them, as we wade ashore
to occupy their ancient land,
some junk they'll never understand.
Categories:
lobbyists, history,
Form:
Quatrain
It’s hard to say anything politically incorrect in the USA.
The people who are struggling don’t really have a say.
They march in the streets to protest against corporate America.
The establishment is the ones in control; they are in the driver’s seat ignoring the Rah’ Rah’
This government is supposed to be of the people, for the people.
It’s all in our voting process with the results of Gore vs. Bush we should see this ripple.
We have a constitution that is being attacked every day from all sides.
Corrupted elected officials, lobbyists, are not even trying to hide.
Insulting in every way anyone with a brain should know what’s right.
Well as people trying to survive in this world should hold our officials accountable yet we don’t and we aren’t too bright.
The people of this nation should get out and use there right to vote.
Then the rich will see and the accountability we held on to, they’ll at least take note.
Revolution in voting is what we need, stopping the rich’s agenda is what we need to do and keep the news straight and be honest with the public.
A free nation has this right to know, have the power in voting, we can be honest with this subject.
Firstly the rich protect the rich caring not what the poor mans agenda is or what the poor man thinks.
If we as people allow this and not stand in force against this we’ll allow them to take us to the brink.
Violence, rioting, causing harm to others never is right; it brings a lot of hurt.
Voting, doing the morally right thing will bring about change and prevent us from loosing our shirts.
Our children need education, morals put back in our schools.
To not do this we allow the politically correct people to pass their agenda and we would be a complete bunch of fools.
Our Father is the key here; our values in the home, our morals are being corrupted by a few.
Studying the Holy Bible, we can’t say that the Father never taught us, and we can’t say we never knew.
So brethren on this upcoming election ask the Father which way to vote, let God’s love for you quite your thoughts.
Remember that Jesus died for us and for our sins, His crucifixion was necessary, with His life He paid for what we got.
Categories:
lobbyists, faith, father, people, father,
Form:
Rhyme
The men we elect extol their virtues with zeal,
Yet, in whispered corners, many continue to steal.
Long ago, Thomas Paine wrote "Common Sense",
Our legislators seem to lack this, when courted by lobbyists,
PACs, and the other interests who have come since.
They spend millions now to just get elected,
Are we so gullible, or just dejected?
"Throw the Bums Out" has been a cry heard before,
We still let them pass...Oh, so easily through the door.
Where are the "Statesmen" that once were there,
In every corridor of Congress, and in every chair?
Their biggest concern was the Citizens' welfare,
You pay for us first...seems to be their current care.
When we vote, as we all should,
Know the person of your choice, as best you could.
Ask what they have done to garner your trust,
Don't just pick one, whose hair isn't mussed.
When the voting is done and the election over,
Watch what they do, under the legislative covers.
So many of us complain that what happens is not fair,
Yet, our vote has stayed home, sitting in our favorite chair.
Federal, State, and Local Politicians too,
Realize that so many of us do not watch what they do.
So, take your vote seriously and with more zeal,
"THROW THE BUMS OUT" . . . this time for real!
Categories:
lobbyists, hope, life, political
Form:
Rhyme
The essence of wit is brevity
which interestingly evinces chivalry
delivered verdict to hex hoar size
(once and for all) president
dons mantle of deviltry
and trumps constitutional credo
defining American elementary
particular edicts denoting, enshrining,
framing, grand honorable inalienable rights
when foolhardy lobbyists prevail
evicting execrable“enemy”
i.e. forward thinking (progressively liberal)
which subsequently might help
timid citizens to invoke probate, procure, produce cojones
in opposition against rabidly power hungry,
misogynistic courting among the body politik
fostering future feverish fortuity,
toward risking life and limb sans
Uncle Sam selfless gratuity
(especially as Benjamin Button syndrome –
reverses aging process
acquired thru heredity
gets in full swing) stamping mindset
nonestablishmentarian identity
with my Kosher blessing despite any infamy
permission to go ahead with jocularity
from a superstar coach named Kennedy
thereby garnering homespun liberty
where icon bank on direct
laudable, linkedin longevity
with unrolled Scottish grandeur
(Pomp and Circumstance broadcast)
synchronized with precise
unrolled welcome mat
yule receive granted “FAKE” feted soiree
as curtain call doth close toward
final decade of mortality
yet dismiss bing hash-tagged
a scofflaw at any opportunity
especially if legislated mandate
earmarked as priority
in tandem with the key quality
apothegm stipulates decrease sing sanity
as the hands of father time
spin (Doktor Dude Little) backward
away from present day turbidity
increasing revanchism uber victory.
Categories:
lobbyists, 12th grade, 6th grade,
Form:
Light Verse
There was laughter through the solace as the world had come to grieve
Over arrogance and pestilence from all
But the rains fall down as innocence when rainbows start to weave
Telling all to keep on laughing through The Fall
By the time the drunken pleasures festered into sober minds
There were boasters selling penances for friends
On their moral-risen soap box quelling guilt of every kind
Then to justify repeating drunken trends
There was madness through the epoch of the wild and untamed youth
As their lobbyists won battles on the fields
Against the yellow politicians laying down in voters booths
While defenders of the quaint begin to yield
When the blood flows out of Eden and proliferates through yore
There was apathy and blindness all the while
And the youth remain ambivalent to madness they ignore
For the blood they cause is veiled in their beguile
There was novel in the noble in the mourning of The Deep
Whom had fallen to The Shallow in The Fall
As the winter dawns upon the lasting remnants as they weep
Here we stand, survivors, backs against the wall
Hear the echo of the laughter through the solace as we grieve
Heed the arrogance and pestilence from all
Beware false rains of innocence and rainbows as they weave
Just stand the Mindless and the laughter in The Fall
Categories:
lobbyists, allegory, lifeinnocence,
Form:
Gun control measures fall on the GOP’s deaf ears
As a hue and cry goes up for stricter gun legislation,
Right-wing-leaning politicians have their NRA fears.
I suspect we’ll see in the Congress great hesitation
In the end, a failure to respond to the public demands,
As a hue and cry goes up for stricter gun legislation.
In the halls of Congress, it seems no one understands,
Token nods will be made, but nothing substantial done
In the end, a sick failure to respond to public demands.
Except for the gun lobbyists, no victories will be won
They will have paid for public policy going their way,
Token nods will be made, but nothing substantial done.
We anticipate another school shooting almost any day
They know in time another school shooting will occur
They will have paid for public policy going their way.
(Let’s not let the next election ballot be merely a paper
Vote out any politician who blocks a gun control law
They know in time another school shooting will occur.)
Let’s not let hypocritical politicians, righteous to a flaw,
[Let] gun control measures fall on the GOP’s deaf ears,
Vote out any politician who blocks a gun control law
Right-wing-leaning politicians have their NRA fears.
Written May 29, 2022
[In memory of the victims of the
Uvalde, Texas school massacre, modified
with an additional stanza calling for
positive gun control action.]
Categories:
lobbyists, america, how i feel,
Form:
Terzanelle