Best Laughter Is The Best Medicine Poems
OLD MA.
Old Ma always gave the kids a nice treat
Always nuts and never anything sweet
But they soon found out why
Nuts were in great supply
Choc nut bars she'd only suck cos no teeth...
NO HIDING PLACE.
An old gangster robbed a bank and he ran
Flew out from Canada then onto Japan
The Mounties tracked him down
In old Tokyo Town
He was caught cos they always get their man...
A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
Went to a posh restaurant called Vicars
A girl walked out the loo, there were titters
Her face turned a bright red
At what's every girls dread
She'd gone and tucked her dress down her knickers...
DOMINATRIX.
A dominatrix from the state of Maine
Enjoyed hanky panky out in the rain
She'd use a leather fetter
T'would shrink as it got wetter
And her clients would pass out with the pain..
A FRIEND IN NEED.
The outback two mates went to catch a 'roo
One got cut short and said "I need the loo"
A spider crawled up his knee
As he was starting to pee
And bit him hard on his digeridoo...
His mate phoned the flying doctor who said
"Suck out the Poison if it has turned red"
He thought to himself no way
His mate said "well what's he say?"
He said "in 'bout half an hour you'll be dead" ...
LOST THEIR WAY. For Gershon Wolf
Geese flew south they were honking and hinking
Snow storm came they were blinded and blinking
They had no way of knowing
Where the hell they were going
To see them sway you'd think they'd been drinking...
Written 21st October 2020.
(Un)Happy Hour
Bob went to the doc with pain in his rear
Walked with a limp and was "loaded" with fear
doc hemmed and he hawed
amazed what he saw
Stashed deep in Bob's butt were two pints of beer
SNAIL
I love my cool wheelchair to bits.
But when I get married it fits
to walk down the aisle,
it may take a while...
by then they're all snoring, the gits!
***
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE LIMERICK CONTEST
sponsor: Jan Allison
October 13, 2016
I know a creative soul named Jan
She births laughter - it’s surely her plan
Giggles must shadow her
Her wit creates a stir
She’s funnier than most any man
Paean On Poets Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Margarita Lillico
March 26, 2022
Jan Can Can
The dance show of sultry young Jan
was given a national ban.
It was found in her dance
she wore no underpants
performing high kicks with *can-can!
Written Oct. 13, 2016 for Jan's contest!
*Pronunciation is of course American style!
Like
My gal pal so tall, falls like right,
and gets like so dizzy at night.
I hold onto her hand,
and we both go down, GRAND!
To behold us- like what a sight!
_______________________________
October 13, 2016
Poetry/Limerick/Laughter Is The Best Medicine
Copyright Protected, ID 16-839-044-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Laughter Is The best Medicine
sponsor, Jan Allison
Second Place
A Hacker fan
There is a PM named Jan
I write this limerick as a fan
She posted this contest
As limericks are her best
I'm a hacker what a bad plan.
Sponsor - Jan Allison
13/10/2016
Funny Feet
Now Mrs. Jan is really so sweet
Like candy for kid's trick or treat
A clown in the soup
Always talking 'bout poop
What's funny's the size of her feet
October 15 2016
There's Just One Thing
My boyfriend was proposing on one knee
but it became a huge catastrophe
while offering the ring
he said, "There's just one thing,
Promise you'll never call my 'friend', Pee Wee."
Laughter is the Best Medicine Contest
Sponsor: Jan Allison
October 13, 2016
Sir Isaac’s Triumph
Celia defied Newton’s laws
By strapping herself into bras:
One day her hooks snapped
And out her bust flapped
To cheers and raucous applause.
October 14, 2016
Laughter is the Best Medicine Limerick Contest
Jan Allison
Drove his Jag through town with a fuss
He came to play poker with us
We took his treasure
And for good measure
Sent him home in a Greyhound bus
10/14/2016
BODY LANGUAGE OF A FLING
From London, he asked her wherein
pouty lips said yes with a grin;
through her flush she denied
erect boobies implied…
she wanted the fling to begin.
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE LIMERICK CONTEST
For Jan Allison 10/15/2016
Help!
Karma Sutra the book that I got
since our love life was not very hot
arms and legs interweaved
but the Fire Brigade leave
since they're no good at untying knots!
For contest 'Laughter is the best medicine', sponsor Jan Allison
October 12th 2016
Pizza Dream
Dreamt I was eating mouse soup
rodents lined up in a troop
fell in the broth
then they got tothed
down the hatch and turned to poop
"Bad" Spell
I knew a nerdy guy named Mitch
He altered his looks by an old witch
But he looked the same
He felt really lame
The witch said it was some glitch
10-13- 16
Contest:Laughter Is The Best Medicine
Sponsor: Jan Allison