Best Joked Poems
Remember that night, one of so many of course
When the waitress asked if we were on our first date
We’d talked for three hours till our voices were hoarse
The laughter we shared no one could create
It must have been the joy in our hearts she saw
For eighteen years there’d been no one who meant more
Never for a moment did our love withdraw
I joked and said it was the cologne you wore
Impotence had rendered you last in some eyes
But there was no man who made me happier
My affection for you never compromised
Of my self-worth, you were the certifier
The last time I saw your 95-pound frame
As you lay smiling in the hospice bed
My adoration I just could not proclaim
Couldn’t look back, still wanted to look ahead
My head on your hand, tears formed a puddle
So much in my heart, but at a loss for words
I waited for your angel as we cuddled
Finally they arrived, not one, they flew in herds
The spirit of contentment shone o’er your face
I swear to this day I saw your spirit rise
You faced your death with such dignity and grace
I could not bring myself to utter goodbyes
But now as I pray, the words finally come
“God blessed me with a special friend always true
And now as I hear heaven’s harps ever strum
I know there’ll never be another like you”
*For my dear friend Chris who died on Christmas Day 2005
Entry for Gareth's "Last Words to a Loved One" Contest
Ferdinand the frog was as mute as a swan
as his friends hopped to school one by one
he would sit on the rocks and silently cry
as the rest of the frogs sang a sweet lullaby
His sister and brother both had a fine voice
While Ferdinand just watched; he had no choice
they would choose the best spot and harmonise
serenading the group brought tears to his eyes
He puckered his mouth and pursed his lips
alas nothing came out except silence in drips
he stood on his back legs and tried to scream
but it was all in vain as he fell in the stream
It made him quite sad and his skin went pale
he broke out in warts, his health started to fail
his friends all gathered and laughed and joked
as Ferdinand slumped… then he finally croaked.
© 10/2/2014
We walked on the beach, just Daddy and me,
And looked for shells in the sand.
We found a starfish holding tight to a rock
Then we walked down the beach holding hands.
He showed me where clams had made holes in a stone;
We watched how the waves filled a pool.
Then he told me all about fish and such things
And he joked, "Even they go to school."
We ran from the waves and made castles of sand.
And talked about Jesus awhile.
I could tell how Dad loved him, Jesus I mean,
From the tear in his eye, and his smile.
We climbed to the top of a really high cliff
To watch the sun hide in the sea.
Then daddy told me, "Of all that God made,
His greatest creation was me."
All God’s Creations
By: Dean Wood
7/24/2017
Quatrain
1st Place
END JULY STANDARD CONTEST
Sponsor: Brian Strand
You could always make me laugh
You knew just what to say
Your jokes could be so freakin lame
But I'd giggle anyway
You'd take me out to eat some ribs
We'd laugh and stuff our faces
Our waitress couldn't help but smile
While we joked of life and its fazes
You were crazy and hilarious
Constant, caring and sweet
You made me feel like I could soar
I could conquer any challenge I'd meet
I got to meet your 'family'
And loved them from the start
I'd found some friends to keep forever
But you and me, we've grown apart
You weren't supposed to walk away
Now memories is all I got
I try to forget and move ahead
But my heart has saved you a spot
I promised you I'd be your friend
No matter, come what may
I'd forgive you and encourage you
I'd never walk away
Now I've done my part and said my piece
I've tried to make you care
But all I get is hurtful silence
It all seems so unfair
But now I realize I'm a fool
And this one thing I know
I've drained myself for one who won't care
And it's time to let you go
Okay we've all cracked the funnies
Joked about what's gone and what's still there.
How everything sags or wilts
Doesn' t work or is in a state of disrepair.
How we're crumbling or fumbling.
Who's deaf? you're mumbling.
How we're gummy or losing our hair-
So what !
Inside we're young and attractive still very active,
Lively, energetic though bent and arthritic-
So what !
Inside we're lustful and exciting,warm and inviting,
Charming, alluring though wrinkles are occuring-
So what !
Inside we're strong and dependable not expendable
Though memory's not reliable and body not so pliable-
So what !
Inside we're funny and witty don't need anyone's pity,
Treat life playfully and are growing old ' disgracefully '
And yes
WE'RE ENTITLED, so why should we care
Because inside we're the person we always were....
Old who's old? Age is only going on out there
For years she thought his heart would warm up,
and open the door for her world. It felt like walking
in summer clothes in the north pole,
whenever she touched his chest;
she couldn't sigh, breathe or move.
It's as though he was afraid her hands would
melt his frozen heart,
and unravel his secrets.
Sometimes she joked, and asked him whether
he was an Iceman in his past life,
which he shrugged off,
as hailstorms gathered in his eyes.
Every day the space between them was becoming colder
and wider; she couldn't tell between winter
and summer anymore.....
“Your undies I see,” joked Wong Ling
as his girlfriend swang high on a swing.
Suzie laughed and she laughed,
saying, “You are so daft,
‘cause down there I’m not wearing a thing!”
Dec. 30, 2018 for the 'Bawdy Limerick ' Poetry Contest of Tania Kitchin
I remember the good old days of what now seems so long ago
The year was twenty nineteen. What parties we used to throw
Family and friends gathered for weddings and festive holidays
Smiles were seen before flashes of illness and dissension blazed
Parents went off to work; their children educated at school
Life was much easier then; and people didn't seem so cruel
We laughed and joked at neighborhood restaurants and bars
Hope in the future was bright, and shinier seemed the stars
It was a time when we took for granted, many simple things
When never would we have imagined the wrath of viral stings
Nor how much we would sadly miss the nearness of others
the signs of affection we'd still give, if we had our druthers.
There is one special memory from those "The Good Old Days"
that will never be forgotten in the grateful voice I lovingly raise
The blessed news of a new family member; a healthy baby girl
I pray her future will be worry free, as I watch her life unfurl
January 13, 2021
The Good Old Days Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Mystic Rose Rose
I thought you were my needle in the hay
The soulmate I’d been searching for, for endless days
The love of a lifetime, here on poetrysoup
Right under my nose, and I never knew
Till I found you one night, when I couldn’t sleep
Your words like sweet bees, pollinating me
We chatted and joked and had so much fun
I realized at once that you were “the one”
The one to complete me, the one I had sought
Until I saw your new picture, and saw you were NOT
The “Chris” that I thought - but a girl!
A GIRL! A gir-l couldn’t complete my world!
You weren’t a needle in the hay
You were just you, with your gir-l face
Your tiger picture, a fantasy mistake -
A dead flower I shake out of my vase
The dreams I held fast
Red petals, now in the trash
3/12/12
Inspired by Chris Aechtner
We had our last hurrah
that evening on the pier.
Some friends of mine brought beer
while some brought wine.
The vista was divine.
The sun began to sink
as shades of rosy pink
streaked teal blue sky.
We joked while getting high.
Back then, we never knew
our friendships, like that view,
would fade away. . .
Written 7/10/14 by Andrea Dietrich
For the ON THE PIER Poetry Contest of nette oncluad
I found myself sitting in a circle of chairs,
With people about me, some saying their prayers.
For family and friends who’d completed life’s stay,
To continue the journey, on their spiritual way.
The people around me weren’t gloomy or grim.
As they talked of their loved ones, they all seemed to grin.
They joked of the times they had shared here on earth,
And spoke of the things they’d achieved since their birth.
I settled my mind and relaxed, don’t you see,
I was here to help others, and not just for me.
While drifting, not thinking, and floating around,
I felt that my being was raised from the ground.
Then slowly and calmly the thoughts flooded in,
And words started filling my head, just for him.
I knew that these memories were his, not for me,
Of a beautiful woman in that misty sea.
I asked him if he could remember the time,
When we met at a bus stop, both waiting in line.
Then, as fate would have it, we caught the same bus,
And from that day onward, we both became ‘us’.
His face started beaming, the love shone out clear,
I think that he knew then, ‘that death had no fear’.
He choked as he answered and tears flowed quite free,
And said, “Yes I do love”, not speaking to me.
This story is one from so many I hold,
I could tell you lots more about other good souls.
Just remember when heartache will not set you free,
That friends are reborn, it’s just that we don’t see.
The spirit within us must travel its way,
It comes to the ‘earth plain’, to grow, love and play.
And when time is destined, must then make its way.
To the place where we’ll all meet one wonderful day.
Ivor G Davies
Slushbo was called Pinkie back in the “day”
Boys who dated her said “hip, hip hooray!”
She was daring and dashing, and did many great things.
But never was offered a pretty diamond ring.
That’s okay, she said, when I am old I shall live with cats.
She had the best sense of humor in town of Monkey Flats.
Her family and friends laughed until they cried tears.
She jested and joked, amid all kinds of cheers.
You don’t even like cats, her bestie Matilda said.
I shall live with them all over my house ‘til I’m dead!
The friends both thought it was a clever joke and hilarious.
Fifty years later, Shushbo is a cat-lover-nefarious.
She is a real odd one the neighbors whisper to their kin.
Don’t go to her door, they cautioned, she will not let you in.
She’s a witch, a warlock, a crazy old cat-lady for sure.
They have no idea her heart is golden, incredibly pure.
Romance, Passion Shown In Those Bright Blue Eyes
Her bright blue eyes that my soul so endears
warms needy heart, sends it passionate cheers
as if a golden moon's yellow beams sent
to invade dark with flaming bright torrents!
Her tantalizing lips, this heart deep stirs
for love represents all sweet life as hers
and in that romantic fantasy lies
a truth, a reality none can deny!
Her walk, was as a graceful sexy dance
as rolling waves of love's truest romance
eternity sent in soft, gentle touch
endless centuries would not be too much!
Her solemn vow, that our love never dies
Was shown with kiss and those loving blue eyes!
R. J. Lindley, 7-19- 1973
Sonnet, ( Those Deep Blue Eyes, That Set This Heart Aflame )
Note:
Such deep, shimmering pools that so allure
reveal depths of Love so sweet and so pure
as in glistening white of fallen snow
Heaven, where Love's truth flourishes and grows.
Hold onto tanti thesauri conscium sibi tamquam donum desuper
dulce largitatem ponens anima paradisum
fugere.....
~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~
I Sang With You -Yet- You Then Did Not Sing
I wept with you -yet- you then did not weep
I slept with you -yet- you then did not sleep
I drempt with you -yet- you then did not dream
I wrote with you -yet- you then did not write
I fell with you -yet- you then did not fall
I ran with you -yet- you then did not run
I walked with you -yet- you then did not walk
I talked with you -yet- you then did not talk.
I ate with you -yet- you then did not eat
I laughed with you -yet- you then did not laugh
I joked with you -yet- you then did not joke
I woke with you -yet- you then did not wake.
I cried with you -yet- you then did not cry.
I died with you -yet- you then did not die.
R.J. Lindley, 5-17-1974
Repeating Sonnet, ( eye for an eye,blood for blood, blinded by the dark )
( I that then lost more than I could ever regain )
THE FINAL ACT
After Humpty Dumpty’s fall
Angry residents placed a call
The locals destroyed the wall
As it shouldn’t be there at all
Injured Humpty was all gloom
Alone in the emergency room
Having to use a nom de plume
Talking with doctors on Zoom
With meds all suitably labelled
Finally diagnosed as disabled
His complaint was then tabled
And a damages claim enabled
Then he was in constant pain
Smiling went against the grain
But was provided with a cane
Yet would never dance again
All the King’s horses and men
First aid was beyond their ken
As fighting was their acumen
Hadn’t joked much since then
Now Humpty has lost weight
One could say he’s in a state
His scheduled operation is late
Now wondering about his fate
It sounds just like a tale of woe
But that is the way a life can go
He’s a producer now you know
Sitting on walls is his new show
Inspired by the Iron Maiden Song, Tears of a Clown
Drinking, he recalled the Circus Grim,
and the strange world that ruined him.
He had done anything for a laugh.
Once, the magician sawed him in half.
He'd traveled the whole country round.
Now tears fall from the circus clown.
An orphan child, running from disaster,
fell into the service of a cruel ringmaster.
At first, he was never seen on stage,
laboring to clean a hungry lion's cage.
In dreams, he wore a jewelled crown,
and he rose to fame and renown.
The juggler, fire-eater and contortionist,
joked with him and the beauty he loved best.
It was then, a drunken challenge, he made,
and, to his surprise she accepted, unafraid.
She caught his eye as she came down,
a moment frozen for a circus clown.
His secret love, he thought, flew like a dove,
enchanting him, like an angel above.
No matter how he tries, he won't forget,
the trapeze girl who missed the net.
He'll swill whisky until he drowns
in tears, the broken-hearted circus clown.