Black Eyed Susan Poet Rhyme

Needle In the Hay

I thought you were my needle in the hay
The soulmate I’d been searching for, for endless days
The love of a lifetime, here on poetrysoup
Right under my nose, and I never knew 
Till I found you one night, when I couldn’t sleep
Your words like sweet bees, pollinating me 

We chatted and joked and had so much fun 
I realized at once that you were “the one” 
The one to complete me, the one I had sought
Until I saw your new picture, and saw you were NOT
The “Chris” that I thought - but a girl!
A GIRL! A gir-l couldn’t complete my world! 

You weren’t a needle in the hay 
You were just you, with your gir-l face 
Your tiger picture, a fantasy mistake -
A dead flower I shake out of my vase 
The dreams I held fast
Red petals, now in the trash


3/12/12
Inspired by Chris Aechtner

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Laura Breidenthal April 25, 2012 at 1:37 PM This is impressively sad. I absolutely loved your version of Needle In the Hay. Wow. Always, Laura

Sara Kendrick March 18, 2012 at 1:36 PM Enjoyed reading your work..Very creative for the contest..Winner for sure..Thanks for the honor of being in the winners' circle in your contest..There were so many great ones to complete the verse and so varied...Sara

Harry Horsman March 16, 2012 at 9:02 AM This is brilliant, Susan. love a interesting poem, and this is sure interesting. very well written and enjoyable. harry

Talena Alienmermaid March 16, 2012 at 7:46 AM Beautiful and powerful (and funny too) - so this Chris is a heart-breaker huh? ; } In particular the last stanza really does it for me - so fantastic!

Charmaine Chircop March 15, 2012 at 10:27 AM I wish i can believe that Chris is a girl.. lovely poem and funny too :)haha-Charma

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders March 14, 2012 at 1:33 AM To be unlucky in love, such a sad story. Live and learn...LOL this is hilarious. Thanks, I needed to laugh tonight. I hope you win with this entry. Blessings, Rhonda

Andrea Dietrich March 14, 2012 at 12:07 AM hahahaha, here you go continuing the MYTH of CHRIS. And getting Daver to go along with you. this is really cute and fun, Susan. I hope Chris won't get too big a head. hahaha. What an interesting poem. I just hope everyone realizes it's pure fiction. It is, isn't it?? hahahaha. Luv ya, Andrea

Deborah Burch March 13, 2012 at 5:05 PM Susan...very nice job!! I like the way you bring us in and stir our emotions along with the subjects...classic "gir-l"....good luck in the contest...huggsss~Deb~

Daver Austin March 13, 2012 at 2:19 PM I also thought Chris was a man and was surprised to find otherwise, but I like her mucho and she writes good stuff. Thanks, by the way, for reading my stuff. Luck in the contest. daver