Best Irritatingly Poems
There is an antique writing desk
in my little study
handed-me-down
from generations of would-be
writers in my family
And there are ancient creatures
from days gone by
living in this old desk still
evil, larcenous little creatures
envious of literary skill
This explains much
Lately, I have caught them unawares
aghast, thought I imagined them
but they are really there
surly, sinister, repugnant creatures
in my writing desk
There's a putrid little jerk,
called Pernishicus who lurks
behind the piles on my desk
glorying in the mess
a malevolent, grimy-mauve gremlin
Who preys on newly created works
stealthily spraying them
with foul feculence
as soon as I commence
my writing-
...Sometimes missing slightly
and tagging my hand
making it hard to stand
myself (much less my writing)
for days on end
Then there's a creepy
mesmerizing fiend
they call Spelbadger
a translucent thing, quite obscene
who shifts in the shadows and purrs
With dark eyes deep- constantly changing
like stones from mood-rings
set in his skull
he psychically bullies,
intimidates and muddles
until my poor brain
is worn and dull
And perhaps worst of all
is that one, Grumblesleaze
with pale, glowering eyes diseased
a gray-green, mangy looking thing
whose famous quirk
is that he has the gall
to grouse about my work...
As he viciously shreds it
then glunshing and munching
greedily devours it all
leaving no note
or trace of remembrance
of my past brilliance
behind
Oh, out of spite
he might leave a few
of my ill-penned
unfortunate lines
I planned to cut anyway
or pull my worst attempts
from the waste-can
and lay them out
to remind me of my failures
Yes, this explains much
For there was only one before
our one lone ancestor
who was able to write
at this desk prolifically
tapping out volumes rather heroically
'Though tiresome and tedious
dry history and drivel
which, no doubt, shrank and shriveled
and lulled these creatures off
to sleep for years
Until we woke them up
broke their hibernation
with more interesting stories
and imagination, colorfully crafted
ingenious, piece after piece
Clicking and clacking away
on typewriters, keyboards
generation after generation
of irritatingly gifted writers
disturbing their peace
it had to cease...
Categories:
irritatingly, anxiety, feelings, humor, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
A HELL DATE
Like an order from the military junta
He swerved the steering off our route
I was surprised... not really scared
It was four days after my birthday
Where are we going?
What's happening? tell me
We are going to a Fast Food... ok, that's it
Ok, then, the General has spoken
Any word from his mouth is a decree
For we are in a military junta
Was ordered not to pick expensive menu
As I glance through the menu list
I asked what he wanted ... nothing!!! he answered
Just hurry up, I've got things to do
I could barely eat my cheap menu pick
He looks at me irritatingly...as if I am worthless
My cutleries fell off my hand severally
Must I eat this so called food
It was one hell of a date... to compensate for my birth date
Hurriedly like maid and Boss, we left the place
It all ran through my mind?
What was this for?
Did I force you to take me out on a belated date?
I felt reduced to nothing as I wish I vomit the food
I should have known better... worst off in all
I felt like a nuisance on a date
As I wish there wasn't a date in the first instance
All kinds of date I mean... birth date or hell date
AST
1.55am
15/04/2015
Conjure from a true life story
Categories:
irritatingly, anniversary, beautiful, bullying, conflict,
Form:
Free verse
Will this pandemic ever be over and everything get back to normal
When high school kids can have a dance and the girls wear a formal
Will our small children grow up thinking a mask is a necessary thing
As common as a tissue, a cotton ball, or an ordinary length of string
Will we ever again not have strangers look at us like we are infected
Will we ever be able to travel without being so irritatingly inspected
Will it be possible to eat in a restaurant and not feel we are isolated
It could happen someday very soon if everyone would get vaccinated!
written July 26, 2021
Categories:
irritatingly, care, change, confidence, health,
Form:
Couplet
1.
“Communion of saints, forgiveness of sins,”
Worship words recited, relationships
Reflected among restless, inconstant,
Imperfect people, somehow sharing a
Faith which makes them one. I appropriate
These sacred words to speak in hallowed
Terms to the bond which unites our two hearts,
Holy Union, Wholly Uniting Us!
COMMUNION – Like a song without words whose
Message, nonetheless, is yet understood,
So the silent speech flowing between us,
Is Presence, Attentive, Observant, Sure.
Two souls be one, binary Nirvana
Admitting but two in oneness sublime.
2.
SAINTS – Hardly perfect, my dear, you know me
Far too well. Eccentricities abound,
Sometimes so irritatingly. And yet,
We cannot deny in process, we are
Progressing toward Union perfected
The Goal is in sight, detours abundant..
But what we can be, and who we become
Are foreshadowed now in who we are.
FORGIVENESS – the grace we apply to each
Failure and hurt is commitment which says
Your Worth is far greater to me than this.
When you fall in the path, I will be there,
For I fall, too, and would fail were it not
For my kinsman-redeemer rescuer.
3.
SINS – game changers,lower’d estimation,
Marks of judgment, condemnation of wrong;
Relationship Enders? Hardly! For when
I remember yesterday’s offense was
Mine, and through tears you helped me understand
The wounding I caus’d in a delicate soul.
Now, it’s my turn to take umbrage, or be
An agent of mercy embracing you.
With wonder we gaze, appreciation
Abounding for our miracle Union.
The love we communicate through hands, lips,
Eyes, Ears, Hair and animated solely
By this deepest Stillness, soul assurance
That this be an unassailable bond.
Categories:
irritatingly, i love you, love,
Form:
Sonnet
SPIRIT AND STONE &
A GREAT LAKE NEARBY
Her father was
a difficult contradiction,
annoyingly similar to a certain
type of teacher, minister or priest,
to a certain type of imam, rabbi
or occasional poet, a confounding
combination of spirit and stone,
a faith in the unseen somehow
beautifully draped over a granite
demeanor, almost comforting and loving,
sometimes righteous and wise, a bit
menacing in mixed company, irritatingly
addicted to spiritual confrontation,
to breaking fragile things, causing
collateral damage when ministering
to students and to uncertain souls
He crashed through his family
and his wary community like hot Latin
jazz on a hot Saturday night, driving
and polyrhythmic on Afro percussion
irresistibly melodic, but demanding and
loud like a prayer of desperation offered
one time too many to an inattentive god!
And she was his daughter!
She was restless and young
and about to break out, her wicked
emotions like the whipped whitecap
waves and the cold northwest winds of
the Great Lake nearby, she was dangerous,
dynamic and deep in the middle, icy and
rocky at the forested edge, but sunlight
and diamonds on the right summer day
Always in turmoil, she didn’t understand
that she was just like her dad, didn’t
understand why they couldn’t just talk,
spend more time with each other, maybe
find common ground, get their attitudes
in synch, perhaps break things
together!
Categories:
irritatingly, introspection,
Form:
Free verse
* “You have to be both an angel and a devil in order to create peace”
I am a little kid walking up the dark cobbled streets of France, chatting among close
friends. Shouting, laughing, and wondering, what wonderful mixtures of food are our
mothers conjuring in the kitchen. As we continue to walk up the hill, and past by the smiling
couples, lively children’s, and joyous merchants. We hear a deafening key being hit over
and over again from the distance. The keys to this sound linger in our ears, as its notes fall
to the ground like beggars change. Then again from the distance comes a crowd full of
twisted faces melded between agony and sadness, children’s that were once lively are now
crying . The once joyous merchants now scatter among the chaos leaving there stands and
their life’s work behind them. Being the kids that we are, we run with the fray then comes, a
blinding flash followed with a rumble; and I stumble to the floor. When I came back to my
senses, I was lying amongst a valley of debris, and a valley of corpses. The hill that was
once dusk, was now a crimson red, and being the kid that I was I though the hill was simply
crying in pain. Realizing this as hell on earth, I called for my friends but not an answer came
back to reassure me. “Guy, Guy what does this story have to do with achieving your
accomplishments” said my teacher irritatingly. I took my time to answer and while I was
waiting I looked around the classroom, and I saw some kids laughing, and others looking at
me as if I were crazy. Then I said “is war really that funny that you would laugh, is it that
funny when a child dies that you laugh, is war really that fun that you would go and make a
widow out of a wife”. There smiled dropped from their faces, and a decent few said “no”.
Realizing what I was talking about my teacher asked me “how will one man alone achieve
peace, let alone someone like you, can you tell me, enlighten me guy”. I looked at him
straight in the eye, smiled and said ………………..
Categories:
irritatingly, teacher, war, me, teacher,
Form:
Free verse
A healthy distance for tolerating LeftBrain dominance
is to recognize our global incarnation
into RightWing intolerant prominence
as dogma of a strictly white hetero-male privileged unkind.
A distance between silent impatience
and loud dissent
is the distance between nonverbal nonviolence
and irritatingly verbal communication.
A tolerable distinction between quieter dissonance
and boisterous intolerance
is a distance between non-violent
and full LeftBrain dominantly overtaking
and/or sado-masochistic bipolarity
and/or socio-pathology
and/or undemocratic kleptocratic
Win/Lose capitalistic intention
in a LeftBrain alpha dog eats and beats
RightBrain beta feminist...dog world
on any over-heated...itchy day
he chooses inhumanely sick
ZeroSum one-sided pleasure.
So sorry.
This started out as a quietly sedate communication
and ended in a most unfortunately aggressive
sound of furious way.
Categories:
irritatingly, anti bullying, appreciation, health,
Form:
Political Verse
Missy was the saddest cat ever a cat has the right to be
She was dull colored all over, white, and irritatingly giant fluffy.
Alley cats made fun of her, saying she was too simple and plain.
No other cat was this boring or dreary from here to Maine.
Missy wanted some color, some pizzazz, some sass, some flair.
Her all over dull plain blah white fur was simply unfair!
I want to be orange, red, silver, pink, red and blue.
I could dye you, her hairdresser offered. Simply name up a hue.
But Missy’s owner wanted her to be blah like the family.
No one else is complaining, she told the sad kitty cat, Missy.
Missy had a grandma that put an idea into action. great as could be.
Decorated Missy with a string of lights as a gorgeous Christmas tree.
Missy’s cousins were jealous, they meowed and wailed too.
This is unfair they told the others, but the aunts knew what to do.
The decorated all the kitties in Christmas lights that day.
The actual Christmas tree was sad now, barren and dull as ugly clay.
Categories:
irritatingly, animal, cat,
Form:
Narrative
I’m not always a fan of poetry - if I actually take time to ponder it
- it can be so irritatingly rhymey, kind of fussy and needlessly intricate.
Compare my love to a summer’s day and I’ll probably yawn and walk away.
Take a nuanced look at the transactions of sex and consent,
and as adults, we may wonder where the romance went.
You know, it only happens once in a while,
that someone with wit and individual style
comes along with something to say
and scribbles it down in a poem or play.
Here’s to the creative visionaries,
to Dickinson's unique and dreamy imagery,
to Shakespear’s highly stylized, run-on sentences
that manage to speak to us over the centuries
or challenge our stifled, bourgeoisie banality
like Nabokov’s use of stunning vocabulary.
Categories:
irritatingly, poems, poetess, poetry, poets,
Form:
Rhyme
There he goes again trying to pump up the small crowd
in a shrill voice that could be irritatingly loud;
he talks too much and always likes to have the last word,
wanting people to believe each story he told.
He’s a super achiever, at least in his own mind,
born with an inflated ego, he’s one of a kind;
he comes in rather strong and oh too pretty fast
yet in the end finishes up biting the dust!
He’d lost too many fights that he claims he really won,
he lives in a mansion his moneyed wife built and owns;
he could not wait to answer the bell for the next round,
with nary an idea where he is actually bound.
Come election time he will run for a position
and for the _th time it will be his damnation;
again he’ll lose due to lack of name recognition,
not to mention lack of electoral intuition.
The grapevine says he is a trained but failed barrister
who managed to fumble all his cases everywhere,
who, while his own peers are galloping straight ahead,
is lagging far way behind, a certified egghead.
I feel so sorry for the poor dude, I really am,
sad that he turned into a laughingstock, a village bum;
but that’s just the way things are in life sometimes, I guess,
either you get lucky or end up a complete mess.
Who is this insufferable popinjay, you say?
Ah, he could be you, me or just about anybody!
Categories:
irritatingly, life, people, social, time,
Form:
Narrative
The mirror was irritatingly sparkly today
Gave me a saucy wink, showing her arrogance
I hate being in the bathroom in the morning
For this very reason
Two pony dogs have to be stepped over in the hallway
One is not moving
The other one will rear up in between my legs
Not intending to trip me, but one day I will break a hip
I make my way to the kitchen; has the coffee pot been turned on?
Another amazing day of retirement, where I sit in a chair and click
Click click click click click click click
Why is there nothing interesting on TV?
A book flies off the shelf when I enter the living room
Is the poltergeist back?
Well, at least this is something…..
Categories:
irritatingly, fantasy,
Form:
Free verse
She’s a crone, I think, judging her dour disposition and prissy ways.
Discover by accident she is twelve years my junior!
Her face is pasty withered; worn, super freckled
Her neck not unlike the wrinkles of an elephant’s legs
How old is she? I query again, for I disbelieve
Anyone could look this hideous at this particular age.
I looked fantastic at that age; I can tell you.
Super fantastic, maybe even quad-super-fantastic.
I cannot take my eyes off her neck; does she not have a scarf?
If my neck looked half that bad, I would wear a thick black dog collar.
Her laugh is irritatingly baby-like, a silly chime-like birdsong laugh.
Surly she could have learned a better laugh by this age.
What’s going on? My husband asks, watching me watch her.
She is only fifty-five I tell him. So?
He does not get it, being a man.
So look at her. He wisely wanders away.
That night I walked by the mirror still scoffing.
The mirror called me back.
I looked at my neck and reached for a dog collar.
That was not enough, so I put on my executioner’s hood also.
Categories:
irritatingly, age,
Form:
Prose Poetry
I woke up today from a long ugly nap that was real
was in a horrible dentist chair, same old ridiculous feel….
whacko of a dentist had taken extra-long potty break
irritating me for I had one sister of a tooth ache
sent for his assistant who was supposed to come in
refused after she saw all the spittle slipping down my chin
floss and gums took hands and jumped out of my notorious mouth
watch out! The persistent blower said; they are heading south!
that horrible spoon thing he pushes into my gums gave a shout.
the dentist is coming! Act normal, return to the mouth!
everything on floor scurried around like a weird ugly mouse.
jumping so high back into my mouth, bringing fuzz, dust and louse.
my ugly mouth was propped open so wide I could not say one word.
I only knew that this whole dentist visit had been so absurd.
one thing I learned during my irritatingly long nap today
when the dentist steps out, my traitorous mouth wants to play
Categories:
irritatingly, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Leave me alone please, the disturbingly patient but truly sick woman said.
Every time she was mysteriously interrupted, she was brought out of bed.
After the six interruption, she began to get a bit mad and mean.
Very seldom had any of us experienced her temper seldom seen.
Everyone except her significant other should have known she meant business.
Maybe it is because he wanted attention, but he was her nemesis.
Every time she was interrupted, she began to get more and more wild.
Always by the same look-at-me-now-man, he was like a four-year-old child.
Leave me alone, please, she asked nicely, and sweetly time and again.
Only he was so needy that he kept irritatingly rushing in.
Need I let you know he is no longer bother her another minute?
Even a sweet woman like her knows what to do when she reaches her limit.
Categories:
irritatingly, how i feel,
Form:
Acrostic
Pitter pitter patter patter went his white tipped feet
The rain was refreshing in the beginning
Now it was irritatingly cold
Tom was hunting for a new sleeping place
His usual spot under a porch was drenched
A stranger called “here kitty kitty” He distrusted the voice.
Categories:
irritatingly, cat,
Form:
Free verse