Best Herpes Poems


Late Night Comedy Show Jokes

i am made up
in equal parts of what i believe 
and 
in equal parts, i believe in 
what i am made up of.

you break me down and you've got
equalityfreedomwomansrightsproch
oiceantibullyingantistigma-
herpes.

it makes no difference to
you 
what happens when I take my pants 
off.
but somewhere along the line I 
became a 
**** a whore a promiscuous little girl 
with no rules and regulations about 
who 
sticks their dick inside me until I'm 
infected with everything wrong in the 
world-
herpes.

they sell you protection in the form of 
condom boxes,
tied up in ribbons that say things 
like,
happy anniversary happy birthday 
happy Thursday happy **** me 
happy little ***** at the bar i can get 
my hands onto.

sex education is 
vacant and expressionless and 
i fell victim to 
don't get pregnant don't get pregnant 
don't.
get.
pregnant. 
oh **** what the **** is happening to 
my insides and my outsides and 
please dear god let the burning stop.

this isn't some blame game,
this isn't some speech,
this is a plea and a please stop 
satirizing my life 
with your late night comedy show 
jokes about my ******. 

my herpes 
not yours 
not my next door neighbors 
not the pharmacists 
not the doctors
not yours.

So get down off your high horse and
try to figure out how
you
will avoid an infection that affects
80% of the population and why
we are all so damn afraid of it. 

Herpes isn't hereditary but ignorance 
is.
Categories: herpes, anti bullying, judgement, social,
Form: Free verse

Lousy Hotel Bar

He lived in room 757
just like a haiku
thats what he said to me
just like a haiku
eesh

There’s a reason I avoid this part of town

if not for the psuedo intellectualism that spreads
faster than herpes at a swingers party
then for the cheap drinks for too much money
the door guy that thinks he deserves a tip
keeping out the ‘riffraff’ as they used to say

The Polo shirt with the Raybans over in the corner
makes eyes at the one girl his buddies brought to the bar
if he plays his cards right
he might just have a chance

and why not? 
Did I walk into a bar
or some sort of reality show
where are the cameras and who’s
ing with me?

The carbon copy cut outs of people all staged around the place
talking about haikus
and their twitter account 
and their many followers
not my scene as I head to the door

As a pick up from my coat from the check
the girl tells me to have a good night
I doubt it
no one writes Haiku’s anymore
Categories: herpes, age, allusion, art, growth,
Form: Free verse

Like Herpes

When they leave,don’t complain
Let them go without constrain 
Be thankful for they dint leave a sprain
For like herpes they will always be back with a strain
Yes forever like herpes they will strain to pain
Categories: herpes, best friend, betrayal, farewell,
Form: Rhyme

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry


Who Am I

So they call me sister
Um hum, they think they know my name
I think I got him now check the game
What’s up baby?
How you doing?
What’s your name?
They call me Exotica cause I roll with a lot of `em
What you know `bout that?
Oh no I don’t need no ride
What about you, hop in mine
I’m so fine baby no he rolling with a dime
You don’t have to call me later lets do this now
No sense procrastinating
I know how you get down
You want my body over my mind
We don’t need to talk intellectually
Everything we do is sexually
Oh sure you can call me tomorrow
And we’ll do it all over
This time I might invite a friend
A ménage à trois
Not just me and you no mo’
You think I’m great
This friend will never let you escape
She’ll be on your mind all the time
She will make you scream
Having pleasure like in a 14 year old boys dream
We’ll even go to the club with you
Help you size up your next victim
They’ll never know where together
Our disguises are very cleaver
We go incognito every time we roll
We’ll be a part of you forever
`til death
do us part
We can travel the world together
Leaving our mark
Making people blind with out inseparable love
Making couples break up
Because
They hate
that we gave them a taste of our
night long lasting burning passion
Some people’s skin will itch
Others will get a tingle
When we welcome them to our circle of forever
Now that we are all acquainted and I’ve found a new home
You don’t have to call me Exotica now that I gotcha
More appropriately
YOU GOT ME
Let me share with you my other names
These are what others have called me
In my previous games
Syphilis
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Herpes Simplex 2
AIDS
All STD
And don’t forget to tell your friends about me
They can get me too I’m very contagious
And I don’t discriminate
I take `em 16
25
40
Even not yet born
I run like a river through your blood stream
I make you ache wishing you’d never crossed my path
I sometimes laugh
At people who think they can escape
Because they really don’t want to
If they did they’d pay better attention and break the chain
By communicating with others
How they have suffered
From my wrath
I am STD the sexually transmitted disease
Categories: herpes, education, health, people, me,
Form: Free verse

Std

If you want my ex girlfriend, she's up for grabs.
But if you sleep with her, you will get the Crabs.
It's possible that you may get Herpes too.
Sleeping with her is a stupid thing to do.
I caught her in bed with my cousin and I thumped her.
She sleeps with a lot of men, that's why I dumped her.
I'm giving you valuable advice so you'd better listen to me.
If you seduce my ex girlfriend, you are sure to get an STD.

(This is a fictional poem)
Categories: herpes, funny, giggle, girlfriend, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Princess Misled

Princess Misled:


Kissed a bunch of frogs
They were still frogs in the end.
Kissed toads, until warts grew
Why is what you're looking for
Always in the last place you look
I asked myself.?

I needed my Prince
Oh how I needed my hero.
Ready to give up, I drank
Potions from the last cauldron.
About to call it a life.

My Fairy Godmother 
Was a Witch.....
I Was under her spell 
Still I searched once 
Again to no avail.

One last kiss did I perform
To my surprise this last frog 
Transformed; When the 
Prince saw me, with warts 
On my skin: Mission 
Completed as this now my end.

The moral of the story is as clear
As can be, Mono or herpes is not
Worth the risk.
The toads that you kiss...
May not be so charming;Fairy Tale
Metaphors, may prove be alarming.

Real Princesses, go home
When they leave the ball,,
The Prince was not very happy, not 
Happy at all: He ran away screaming...
"Ladies and Princesses should never kiss frogs "
Categories: herpes, cinderella, growing up,
Form: Free verse


Herpes New Year

No one ever talks about it
it hurts
it throbs
uncomfortable

\No one knew what to say
especially when it was no longer all about them
but it was

Who have i been with?
who have you been with!!!?

the tears
pain
throbbing
thief of under
under where?
under there

All my friends were busy
Called mom yesterday we fought
My brother bout fell off the wagon
cause i want to move away if he moves near
and they're all blaming my ex

i know better
psychological torment
Im the ****
Im the whore
I blame myself as i should
serves me right
right?

so who wants a piece of this pie?
drug induced schitsoeffective
mood disorder
mentally ill
diseased
Lover Boy
all for you

Just give me more pills

Two friends left
I don't want to talk to the Angel whose ex stole my password to this site
My ex girlfriend whose room i lit on fire owes me 240 dollars for her drug debt
things are getting better
happy birthday rip off
merry Christmas debt
high and dry
Now Herpe New year

and i wept
again
stronger this time to not go over the reasons to live versus those i should die
and i laid in bed
with no one to hold
so young
people are cruel
I'm the joke dressed in suicide
just make sure you wash your hands
when you clean up after my mess
you might get infected
and then as the songs go sang by the artists
that sing about how my names are songs

I'll be the one responsible for killing all of my friends and myself after all

For the love of latex and lesions
practice safe sex
know your partners well
and remember life aint no merry go round
it can happen to you
it happened to me

and I've only been out of the funny farm 
for three years
before that i was clean
before that was high school
and the nightmare i will always remember and equate with the word 
DREAM
Categories: herpes, confusion, health, introspection, life,
Form: Free verse

Indicium

black snakeroot, yew, cocklebur, poison (ivy, oak, parsnip, sumac, ryegrass, hemlock), blister bushes, daffodil, mayapple, lilium, jerusalem cherry, indian licorice, deadly nightshade, christmas rose, bleeding heart, asparagus berries, wolfsbane, tomato leaves, doll’s eyes, the suicide tree, young larkspur, blue-green algae, stinkweed, dumbcane, european spindle, blind-your-eye mangrove, manchineel, laburnum, mother of millions, elderberry root, bacterial pathogens, exotoxins, mycotoxins, grayanotoxins, rhinovirus, chicken pox, sleeping sickness, cholera, yellow fever, typhoid, rotavirus, river blindness, measles, japanese encephalitis, hepatitis (a,b & c), cryptosporidiosis, shigella infection, pneumonia, meningitis, tuberculosis, schistosomiasis, malaria, influenza, herpes (1 & 2), crab louse, scabies, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, trichomoniasis, hpv, hiv/aids, ebola virus, marburg virus, mad cow disease, mudslides, avalanches, blizzards, storms, cyclones, hurricanes, tsunamis,  tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, fires, supervolcanic eruptions: evidence of absence.
Categories: herpes, life,
Form: Free verse

Living All At Once

You Only Live Once is apparently my generations motto,
Its why she feels so hollow.
God damn girl, i used to be your man girl!
now i can pick up a magazine anywhere around the world, and see a full spread picture of the girl that used to be my world.
You only live once don't you get it!
So do all of these drugs! yeah! I know you won't regret it!
Now my friend is dead, and i bet you wish you hadn't said it.
You only live once and then your dead!
Of course you should let that random girl give you head!
Now my friend has herpes and he wishes he was dead,
because his girlfriend let him when he ****ed that girl instead.
You only live once Ben come on don't you remember?
Isn't that what you told Dillon that November?
Isn't that what you told Brittney to convince her to take those pictures?
Is that what you told Ryan when he told you that his dick hurt?
You only live once, so don't try and live all at once.
Categories: herpes, adventure, age, america, high
Form: Rhyme

New Opinions

Not to die or to perish or to fall off a cliff 
Not to disappear from the hearts of others
Not to drowned, stuck in a submarine 
like a can of tuna. I never want to reek of tuna
or reek of cigarettes. I don't want to party
so hard I end up in jail, eating nutri-loaf.
Nutri-loaf is supposed to be nutritious
but it taste like pig-guts mixed with sawdust. 

Not to end up on the news because some racist
murdered me in cold blood. They could kill me
because i'm gay, because i'm black, because
I do the right thing and have progressive opinions.
I don't want to get in a fight with a half-goat, 
half-woman creature at a bar, but tyrannies 
are so prepared to fight. I swear all tyrannies 
carry pepper-spray and brass knuckles, which is why
I want to be friends with these people.

Do you know what an Ass Assassin is? 
It's a gay man just like a **** Stabber 
is a gay man. Lesbians don't really 
have anything that funny to be called. 
Some people  call them Bean Flickers, 
but that only makes sense if they are Mexican.

Everything is so mixed up these days. 
Some people would say life is like a box 
of chocolates. You never know what you are
going to get. You might get herpes or syphilis
Pray to god you don't get AIDS, but that's not
as bad as it used to be.It's worse to get audited 
by the IRS. I don't expect much out of life, 
but i hope to get better health insurance
and maybe if i am real lucky a girlfriend.
© Lyon Brave  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: herpes, depression, girlfriend, immigration, meaningful,
Form: Imagism

Cheater Cheater

(to the tune of peter peter pumpkin eater)

Cheater cheater had to see her
Left work early to go and meet her
Banged her in a vacant house
And brought home herpes for his spouse


Received 7th place in "any poem you posted this week" contest
Categories: herpes, parody,
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Rondelet: Reduce the Size and Population of the State

Rondelet: "Reduce the size and population of the state." 

"Ensure that even though the people have tools of war (...) they will not use them (...) they will be reluctant to move to distant places because they look on death as no light matter. (...) Bring it about that the people will (...) find relish in their food And beauty in their clothes, Will be content in their abode And happy in the way they live."   Tao Te Ching, LXXX. Transl. by D. C. Lau. (Penguin Books).


Population

Cut sex: immigration will stop

Population

Well almost: miscegenation

Humans put sex at utmost top:

Aids herpes chlamydia crop up

Population


(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, 2012
© T Wignesan  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: herpes, peace, people, political, people,
Form: Didactic

Premium Member Three Sonnets Inspired By My Reigning Ex

            Warmly dedicated to SMJ

      Three Sonnets Inspired by my
                       Reigning Ex


Part 0
Sitting at the edge of the universe
like a man atop a modern skyscraper
who might look down to see the manic street
full of yellow taxis and distant peers,
the first thing I notice on a backwards
glance is my snake-skin mortality
shed and skipping across the flattened ether,
a luminous orb on a linear course
like a puddle-hopping pebble, eager
to sink a lily-pad a child targets
for the hell of it.  I realize then - either
I’m dead as a god should be, or just a pet
project of a German ghost, his meager
objective merely my way to forget.


Part I
Before you bed me, I assume the herpes
risk you ignored so many turn-style clicks
so many thick-like quick-strike Rolodex entries
not so long ago made that cavalry slicks
and right-swept Tinder mounts dutifully
saddled have begun their bountiful itch.
A testament, truly, of how beautifully
done was every each one, each surgical stitch
precisely sewn to salvage squeeze-box juice
of battle-field strewn, the red zest of life
a dead soldier blew, is once more, for you,
stalling to flow; knowing your rusty knife
has yet to slice temptation sterilized;
knowing your scalpel’s cut keeps cancer canonized.


Part II
All around you, this kelp-wall compartment 
appears an ocean bloomed with room enough 
for early light to shuffle halfway bent,
like time’s unpolished hedge, across the rough
field where too young have men gone to die.
Someone is responsible for all of it:
The ghostlike fish who grimly swim upstream;
the crunchy autumn leaves all creased and clustered;
and this, the box you loathe in sleepless dream
of birthday cakes and candles your grandfather 
fed the wish-away lawn using mustered
strength from tears his daughter leaked, sprung to lie,
who now only cries at her daughter’s grave,
complaining of stubble when Pawpaw shaves.
Categories: herpes, girlfriend,
Form: Sonnet

Six Things Satan Did To Get the Boot Out of the High Place

1. When Satan was an Angel:

    He discovered fault finding easy in the Heavenly Society.
    
    No reason to put forth an effort to improve,

    Just dis.


2. When the Sky-Boss wasn't around

    He would slip memos to hes fellow workers,

    "There is no union,

    Nothing to coordinate the wants of the Winged Servants.

3. He claimed the Heavenly Chorus sang off key:

    And sounded like it was suffering

    From a case of group herpes.

4. He reminded everyone:

    As often as possible,

    That the Holy He created women as a lesser species,

    :After all, Eve did come along as a side issue."

5. Wherever God asked,

    "Are you working?"

    Mr. D. would always answer in the affirmative,

    Gut, his task was too often centered on group diffusion.

6. The final straw in his disposition:

    Occurred after he had constantly complained to the Almighty

    That the thermostat was set too low,

    "I can't stand the cold up here!  Why don't you do something about it!:
Categories: herpes, angel, fantasy, humorous,
Form: Ballad

Herpes Zoster

Herpes zoster 


After a simple dinner chitchatting with a friend
Felt itch in the loins with burning a sensation
It seemed strange and my hand touched the spot
Lo! It was there with a bang, the Herpes zoster.

The attack so sudden and surreptitiously silent 
It took quite some time for me to come to senses
It was night in a remote mountainous hamlet
It was a crisis that left me really flabbergasted.

As night passed it erupted in all its ferocity
Each passing moment seemed like an epoch 
No help expected from any corner at night
It was a first nightmare I experienced in life.

The next morning saw a proper physician
He instantly diagnosed it as herpes zoster
Gave medicines and lotions and injection
And advised me to grin and bear the pain. 

Two months have passed since that night
Each day’s pain quietly reminding me
To wait patiently for that jubilant day
Free from nagging anguish and agony.
Categories: herpes, anxiety, endurance, remembrance day,
Form: Free verse
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Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

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