Best Grumps Poems
Somedays I feel like I'm surrounded by bars and bricks
encaged on a stage in tar that sticks.
There's an agonisingly unfamiliar reflection in the mirror,
as my eyes detect an unrecognisable inferior figure.
I can't see the stars in the sky at night,
and the sun doesn't rise to provide daylight,
creating days filled with unpleasant darkness,
feeling the hate, I will for heaven sent brightness.
It would be nice to see a flicker,
a shooting star or something quicker,
as my impaired eyes see unseeingly at paradise.
It seems these days have perfected imperfection and sadness,
as though infected but immune to antidote injections that stop madness,
and the bad feel projecting out onto these days seemingly disastrous.
So I turn to alcohol and slowly increase the dose
and down the booze until I doze,
to awake with the shakes that alcohol creates,
reaching straight for the glass of straight voddy,
drowning myself down in hate toward the junkie category.
A way I find carries me through this hell that flattens me,
clouding my mind, shielding hurt that comes with thinking clarity.
Leaving me imprisoned and unable to escape this reality.
………………………………………………………………………….
Somedays I feel like I'm surrounded by bars and bricks,
so I drink water and take vitamins to get far from my minds tricks.
My mind digs up thoughts sick and twisted
from the ditches of the mental scars life inflicted.
I see a full moon but no stars in the sky at night.
There must be a faint cloud blocking that far travelled light.
Throughout the day I stay active as it distracts the gloom
and subtracts it until a world seemingly more attractive resumes.
I shrug off the booze and don't meet the thugs
that deal drugs and rise above a life for chumps.
I start these days feeling down in the dumps,
but if I live the right way I move passed the grumps.
I feel that just the moonlight moves me to comfort,
I perk as I forget today and all that work.
Tomorrow is another first,
I think life offers more than I deserve.
Categories:
grumps, dark, depression, hip hop,
Form:
Rhyme
I've been told I'm much too sensitive
my eyes leak tears like a used sieve
I cry over sad movies, words in a book
so go ahead and give me that 'look'
Sometimes I cry goodbye on the phone
So what? I wasn't chiseled out of stone
Tell me I get my feelings hurt too fast
I'll say I cry from memories of my past
Don't tell me I need to restrain the flow
Maybe I've suffered more than you know
I can take being knocked around by my foes
those who bitterly want to step on my toes
But words from someone I really care about
cause me to frown with my mouth in a pout
I'm a sensitive woman who tends to cry
if I tell you I don't, I've told you a lie
I would never intentionally hurt anyone
If I like you, I'll tease you, but it's in fun
Falling tears may not be in fashion
I don't think it's a crime to have passion
So please don't think I'm being a grumps
if you do I'll get down in the dumps
I've been told that I'm a tough cookie
you can make bet on that with any bookie
I'll be your friend, honest and true
but don't hurt me 'cuz it'll make blue
Categories:
grumps, feelings,
Form:
Couplet
Golden is silence, words often said
Written words linger inside one’s head
Poets have ways of leaving their mark
In the stars and inside someone’s heart.
Reader and writer may never meet
Yet words swing along to one's heartbeat
It’s a poets gift of art come through
That lifts one's spirit when life is blue.
Poems of love leave one warm and snug
Alike being tucked up in a rug
Those of faith, there’s many can relate
They guide folk to the Lord’s golden gate.
Tribute poems melt the toughest hearts
They mean so much, are top of the charts
To recipients words mean a lot
They're alike sweets from a candy shop.
Poetic humour brightens one’s day
A laugh a day keeps the grumps away
And in the silence of loneliness
Cheer up poems are simply the best.
Categories:
grumps, appreciation, poetry, silence,
Form:
Rhyme
He was a grumpy old man
And there was no one at the funeral to deny it.
Even he didn't pretend to be otherwise.
Yet the whole town turned out
To pay their respects.
All but the very young stood at the podium
To farewell this grumpy old man,
In words that big city folk would call derogatory,
But to this grumpy old man it would have been seen
As speaking plainly with heartfelt honesty.
For even when grumpy and he was most of the time,
No one in need did he ever turn away,
He was generous with his time.
And his money though plenty,
Never made the bank rich.
In between his grumps he even gave out some sound advice.
In case you are wondering what they put on his headstone
The choice was obvious to all who had given him the time of day.
"He was our grumpy old man"
Categories:
grumps, age, appreciation, blessing, celebration,
Form:
Free verse
Turn the corners around your lips
reverse your wrinkled brow
amuse your sullen disposition
and disapproving frown
Etch the lines that touch your eyes
the map which tell your story
of laughter worn the crown of age
displayed near age of forty
Laugh at all the unexpected
moments that surprise
uncommon yes and comical
till breath be gone and tears can cry
Laugh at every fortune un'd
when it rains and makeup runs
for every fall or drink that spills
slap a knee and laugh until
You find no shame in things gone wrong
find the funny in all you can
learn how to sing life's laughter song
for life is wasted in the sad
The start of every laughters ride
begins when your lips make a smile
not the smile of portraits pose
but the smile from fond memory rose
A smile that comes from real joy
when your eyes glisten with feeling
when joy you can't believe is real
becomes all your souls been needing
Smile deep a grin that's wide
none else so desired in life
to be by the side of one with a smile
it can make the downhearted feel alive
Be the change in your world today
the one that gives some laughter away
be the sunny and say something funny
a little joy is better than money
It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown
so go ahead and turn some grumps world around
Smile, laugh, the storms of life will never last
Bring joy to life before the living is passed
Categories:
grumps, simile,
Form:
Rhyme
Old Dogs and Children**
Woke up
always a plus.
Took care of business.
Found my teeth -
a must.
Brushed them…..off.
Made coffee
meditated on its scent
and promise.
Met the dog at the door
(no explanation necessary)
Made breakfast for two.
Exchanged greetings
grumps, grunts and
hugs with wife,
confidante and lover
(all at the same time)
Thought about-
-cutting the grass
-washing the truck
-bathing the dog
-planting some flowers
-colonizing the moon
Woke up - refreshed
Didn’t do any of the above.
Visited five month old granddaughter
-changed diapers
-pushed carriage
-sang songs
-Grandma fed her
-changed diapers
-played on floor(with baby)
-stayed on floor(to recover)
Returned home
Made coffee
meditated on its scent
and promise.
Met the dog – again.
Shared a quiet(?) supper.
Exchanged good nights
grumps, grunts and
hugs with wife,
confidante and lover.
John G. Lawless
5/15/2015
**with apologies to Tom T. Hall
Song title “Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine
submitted to – Today I Accomplished – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Sara Kendrick
Categories:
grumps, children, dog, granddaughter, grandfather,
Form:
List
Although my voice rose in volume
his ears rejected the sounds,
unable to distinguish the words.
Speaking to his back,
I felt like a mime without a mirror.
My heart grieved at the loss,
no longer able to reach the one
I had laughed with, and loved,
all of my adult life.
But his eyes spoke eloquently,
his smile erased my anger,
and his kiss warmed me to my toes.
New hearing aids brought his world
into sharper focus and now the words
bounce off walls like cymbals on a drum.
"Three thousand dollars," he grumps.
"and I prefer the silence."
Categories:
grumps, health, loss, sound,
Form:
Narrative
Douglas Dempster the Dumpster King
Hates to be called Doug Dumpster
But he's to blame if that's his name
Denying it is a real stumper.
Mashes the trash, burns it to ash,
Recycles all that's allowed;
A self-made man with a garbage can
That ought to make him proud.
Dougy Dumps whines and grumps
"Nobody gives me respect!
If not for me the world would be
Garbage-bedecked! Cluttered and wrecked!
Sad and neglected, infested, infected
But thanks to me it all gets collected!"
Well thank you Doug-in-a-Dumper
For keeping our alleyways bright
Put on your very best jumper
And we'll take you out tonight.
Categories:
grumps, environment, funny, humor, rude,
Form:
Rhyme
1.
Murders in congress
grimly ponder on parapet walls
on the grim reality of lost homes
and loved ones yet unborn -
their casual caws more muted
than the usual cacophony
of careless camaraderie.
2.
The still dark night
of scintilla-ed canopy
and eerie filigreed fingers
of flora bereft of foliage once lush
limned against the pallor of
moonlight mocking at men
reduced and humbled now
from their hubris then.
3.
Candlelight dinners
bereft of the trappings and finesse,
a gourmet's grumps bring together
rediscovered ties
of familial bonds under the thickened web
of electronic sludge and slime
now briefly removed.
4.
The sweet lullaby of a
distant mercenary generator
puts me to sleep
in the comfort of knowing
that i am not alone.
Troglodytes in surreal settings.
Categories:
grumps, bird, environment, natural disasters,
Form:
Free verse
Some folks complain that rainy days get them down in the dumps,
Causin' depression and a dreadful case of the grumps!
But I relish rainy days, cozily ensconced by the fire,
And rain peltin' my window pane, a sound of which I never tire!
Even though the day is cloudy and somewhat drear,
Absorbed in a good book and listenin' to music brings me cheer.
Why would I want to do anything else, as I stifle a yawn;
Besides, the welcome rain is needed for my thirsty lawn!
I s'pose I could catch up on chores that I've left undone,
But just thinkin' about that doesn't sound like much fun.
I'll just procrastinate, meditate and watch the world pass by.
Should the telephone ring, I don't even think I'll reply!
The storm intensifies, the gale lashes around the house,
As I, contented, have coffee and reminisce with my spouse.
Simba the cat snoozes in his usual place nigh the hearth.
Later, he hops in my lap, purrin' for all he's worth!
I'm gonna relax and listen to the rain's soothin' serenade,
As it continues to pelt my windows in a blindin' cascade,
For I know that tomorrow these simple pleasures I must forego;
Alas, I'll have the garden to weed and that pesky lawn to mow!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Honorable Mention in the "Monsoon Storms" Contest - June 2010
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Honorable Mention in "Monsoon Storm" Contest - June 2010
Categories:
grumps, funnyrain, sound, june, rain,
Form:
Rhyme
The bully of the parrot world, the Rainbow Lorikeet
To find one that was friendly, would be quite a feat
They will fight all other parrots, those larger and the small
They always fight among themselves, 'till no strangers left at all
We have one that we call Grumpy, he shows not the slightest fear
Not even for the human kind, we have invited here
Touch his seed he'll get a finger, or maybe even worse
He strikes so quick and by surprise, would make a Parson curse
At times the ducks from our canal, come up and gather round
Grumps rides them like a jockey, with the wildest screeching sound
Flapping wings and biting neck, no mercy does he show
Until they reach the water, only then does he let go
Red Wattle birds can beat a crow, to Grumps they show defeat
He has the violence of the devil, and a passion can't be beat
One day he went a bit too far, a young Rosella killed
Can't have that going on round here, a trap I had to build
Sunflower seed sat on the plate, a line tied to the trip
When he and his wife had entered, I gave the catch a slip
Took the cage and put it in the boot, he would relocate
Drive an hour down to the river, will release you here old mate
They flew off did a circle, came back perched in a tree
They stopped to say goodbye to us, or so it seemed to me
They took off flew down the river, parting is such pain
We knew now they had left us, never would see them again
The trip home was a quiet one, gave us time to think
How friends can come from anywhere, just have to make the link
Six days later there in bed, a lorikeet heard call
I recognised old Grumpy's sound, nearly made me bawl
When I took him west I felt quite sure, that longitude would win
Before we had a timepiece, it kept humans in a spin
But now he's home and shows he's smart, no more homicidal
He still does stick up for his dig, in charge and never idle
Never held a grudge to us, even after that long trip
Will perch upon my good wife's head, and rarely makes a slip
Comes and sits down on my knee, much as if to say
If we behave ourselves from now, any chance you'll let us stay
True story of a lorikeet pair at sussex inlet nsw Australia
Categories:
grumps, bird,
Form:
Rhyme
Bah! Humbug! 'Tis again that time of the year,
When I must go hither and yon spreading good cheer.
Ho, ho, hoing as wriggling brats sit upon my knees,
Boring me with their interminable pleas!
I try to animate the beast with the shiny red nose.
The other cantankerous brutes won't rally 'til he goes.
This year, please clear the snow off your roofs!
If one breaks a leg I have no spare hoofs!
How about leashing your beloved family mutt!
Frankly, I'm weary of being nipped on the butt!
And I'm getting sick of your crummy cookies and milk.
How about some salami and cheese or something of that ilk!
I've really suffered a most ruinous year.
Mrs. Claus and those pesky elves formed a union up here,
Working less hours and demanding more pay!
I doubt I'll have enough toys to fill the sleigh!
If I sound somewhat like I have the grumps,
I've just been feeling down in the dumps.
Folks, I need your help to make me merry.
This whole Christmas thing I alone cannot carry!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
grumps, funny, holidayme,
Form:
Rhyme
Eternally Lovely now,
The Bride of my Dream of Gold.
And rolling down grassy slopes,
Whose smiling heart ne’er grew old.
Eternally Helpful, too
The Braid in my burgeoned beard
That round my loquacity ropes
And sees that I’m rightly reared.
Eternally wise and kind,
The Bread of His Life and strength
The Child of the King of Hopes
The Lifeline of endless length.
She rides through the ethers now
E’er calling forth clouds of snow
The crying child, helps, as he copes
Wherever his troubles may go.
And so, I have finished my tale,
Except the Divinest part
The poor fool who grumps and mopes,
She JOLTS by her Heavenly Art!
Categories:
grumps, angel, blessing, funny, happy,
Form:
Rhyme
The grump got out of a lumpy bed,
Slipped on his slippers, scratched his head.
Stood on the scales, saw what he weighed,
Then made some toast with marmalade.
The grump then cycled down the lane,
He moaned and moaned as it rained.
He went into a chemist's shop
To buy some aspirin, then he stopped.
He peered at the grubby town outside,
Then popped a pill, before he sighed:
"I never wanted to be a grump,
But daily life gives me the hump.
I've got a headache, and the rain
On crowded streets drives me insane.
I cycle slowly but am disturbed
By cars and buses that splash the curb.
Even when I ring my bell,
And raise my fist, or often yell.
I get no peace, my head still thumps,
No wonder I always get the grumps!"
He cycled to his infant school,
Saw children playing by the hall.
It's not the place that he once knew,
With wicked teacher's like Mr Pugh.
A voice from near the big old gates
Said: "Hello, are you late?"
The headmistress smiled: "Never mind."
The grump walk in: "I'm just behind."
"Well, now your here, let's get you started."
She was smart, and so kind-hearted.
The grump then picked up all his tools
And began work there at the school.
The headmistress and the other staff
Did their best to make him laugh.
Poking fun at his grim manner:
"Cheer up, cherub!" joked teacher, Hannah.
Working at the school was pleasing,
He flourished there, despite the teasing.
The right people make work fun,
Just ask Ollie, the ex-grumpy One!
Categories:
grumps, angst, anxiety, education, good
Form:
Rhyme
Shuffling my life around like a gambling cards
Even when I know I may win or lose
But what do I have to lose?
I bet nothing
I’ve been evolving around my kindred circles where I place my priority into my shield
Hoping not to be Hopeless but I gain more less
For I satisfied their thirst even when they left no grumps for me to smash on
They all pretended I have the best closet to my face and laughed behind me sheepishly cause they garnered my rags for their fashions
For I learnt in a hard way when the humiliation brought upon me didn’t pass through my unlock window but my locked beloved heart
I wept joyfully to lose the key to my Paradise
I burnt the bridges like Jacob and become Jeopardized
I purchased a dream in greaves of Graves
I lost my humility to become horror of my situation
I sacred my ego for my alter
I protagonise my redemption for my Antagonism
Then I named the VILLAIN
Categories:
grumps, body, community, conflict, horror,
Form:
Epic