Santa's Beefs
Bah! Humbug! 'Tis again that time of the year,
When I must go hither and yon spreading good cheer.
Ho, ho, hoing as wriggling brats sit upon my knees,
Boring me with their interminable pleas!
I try to animate the beast with the shiny red nose.
The other cantankerous brutes won't rally 'til he goes.
This year, please clear the snow off your roofs!
If one breaks a leg I have no spare hoofs!
How about leashing your beloved family mutt!
Frankly, I'm weary of being nipped on the butt!
And I'm getting sick of your crummy cookies and milk.
How about some salami and cheese or something of that ilk!
I've really suffered a most ruinous year.
Mrs. Claus and those pesky elves formed a union up here,
Working less hours and demanding more pay!
I doubt I'll have enough toys to fill the sleigh!
If I sound somewhat like I have the grumps,
I've just been feeling down in the dumps.
Folks, I need your help to make me merry.
This whole Christmas thing I alone cannot carry!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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