Best Getting Old Poems
I've grown a bit slower, I've grown a bit fatter,
my mission each hour: relieving my bladder.
When I was a youngster, I had no idea
old coots who eat fruits will just get diarrhea.
My eyesight is going - my glasses need glasses,
and don't get me started on myriad gases:
that flatus I thought should have stayed deep inside
escaped from its chamber, despite how I tried.
My hearing was great once, now I spend big money
on aids, just to know why those jokes are so funny.
I never had allergies back in the day -
I sneeze now from looking at pictures of hay.
My barber once covered his floor with brown hair -
that floor now looks gray (and there's not a lot there).
I thought in retirement I'd be a blob -
I'm busier now than when I had a job:
My schedule with doctor's appointments I fill,
the outcome of each is, "here, take this new pill".
Perhaps I once asked what that pain in my joint meant,
so now my skin's greasy from medical ointment.
Once, fully formed sentences from me were heard,
I pause quite a bit now to find the right........ word.
Back then, my vocab was a source of great pride,
now new words or phrases I just cast aside.
I need a warm blanket, my toes all feel frosted,
but walking to get one just leaves me exhausted.
Some good comes from fires becoming an ember -
I'd say it here (if I could only remember…)
My beautiful hair is now turning grey -
a sign of age that I cannot deny.
But I’ll fight it until my dying day …
I have huge stocks of my titian hair dye!
My waterworks don’t behave as they should,
I laugh or sneeze and I dribble some wee.
Pelvic exercises don’t do much good -
I wear ‘Depends’ pads that no one can see!
My memory is now getting quite bad
I repeat words, I repeat words I say.
As long as I live I’ll be very glad …
until they carry my coffin away!
Failing health and faculties, are my fears
I may live to regret my twilight years!
A fictional write – I am admitting to nothing apart from dyeing my hair !!!
Which of the four would you choose Contest
Sponsored by Sara Kendrick
08~21~16
Age rushed in like the waves of an unrelenting sea…
knowing she could not hold back the tide
she welcomed in the ocean
and did her best to enjoy the ride.
Getting Old
I used to look so young and slim
I could wear anything I chose
now I buy from tent shops
it's the only way to get clothes
I can't rise without a noise
the ground feels so far away
my bones creak and groan
as upwards I sway
These days I like to sit and read
before I could run and play
I would dance all night given half a chance
now I just sit and decay
My hair turned grey long ago
I nap now maybe twice a day
many things are different now
as I reach another birthday
But in my mind nothings changed
I'm still that young girl inside
a little wiser hopefully
just with a bigger backside
I see her in the mirror still
as I stand there and apprise
she's a little hidden now
but just gaze into my eyes
That's where the girl is still
who loved to party night and day
you only see my age now
but the girl is here to stay
Ok, maybe I'm slower now
but I can still party with the best
just have me home by tea time
so I can have a rest.
My ass used to wiggle but now it just jiggles.
My breasts look down at the floor.
Gravity and old age have taken over.
I'm not a "pretty young thing" anymore.
When I look in the mirror I wonder
Who in the hell is that person I see.
With grey hair and wrinkles and hair on my chin,
That person just couldn't be me.
I used to shave my lovely, long legs
Before I headed to bed.
That really is no longer a concern,
I shave my mustache instead.
My legs now resemble a road map
With lines running here and there.
If I could go back in time to my teens
I'd join a gym.... I swear.
Where on earth did my youth go?
I turned around and lost it somehow.
It's like aliens took away my body
And look what they left for me now.
I really don't mean to grumble,
I really don't mean to moan.
I just want to buy a new body
Like the one that I used to own.
I guess I will have to just jiggle.
It's what my ass will now do.
But I'd love to be able to turn back the clock
To when my figure was perfect... wouldn't you?
I’m getting older - this fact I cannot deny
Not quite ready for the scrap heap or to give up life and die
My body isn’t quite the same; my boobies have gone south
But I keep on smiling with gleaming dentures in my mouth
Got a spare tyre round my middle now, I really need berating
Get a bit more exercise - soon the tyre will be deflating
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday
I rely on Tena ladies now in case I dribble pee
Sneezing, coughing and laughing can cause a little wee
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday
I have three pairs of glasses now as my eyesight is getting poor
I forget where I have put them – then I find them on the floor
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday
My hearing is it is going too, I don’t hear what you say
I need to buy a hearing aid but I’m putting off that day
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday
My once brown hair is going grey and now I’ve hit the dye
I colour it quite regularly you can guess the reason why
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday
My joints creak and ache and they really need a rub
I must buy some more Radox and put it in my bath tub
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday
21st March 2014
Submitted to 101 in a row contest #5 sponsored by PD Linda:-)
Written from observation and experience … but I’m not admitting to anything!!!
NB: UK Spelling of TYRE has been used
Have you had your colonoscopy?
Your mammogram? Or hey –
Your stress test? Blood work? Body scan?
Get on it right away!
If you cannot relate to this,
Just wait a few quick years
For as you age, that youthful health
Dries up and disappears.
And then the testing days begin
So when you’re with your friends,
You’ll find your conversations
Follow healthcare’s latest trends.
When you are young, you think your youth
Will always be on hold.
It’s really quite surprising
How things change as you grow old.
When I was a young man my imagination soared, my vision sharp , and my hearing acute my mind was quick ; without inhibition and at a moments notice my ***** could stand at attention.
But now I am older my thinking slower , my vision require spectacles, have shrinking of my testicules and although I hear it requires these electronic devices in my ears.
And last but not least my my little friend to assume any dimension requires chemical intervention.
Aging ain't it great
I'm getting old,
I have a suspicion.
How do I know?
Corrugated skin
and sunspots
of road map
composition.
If multi colored
would paint
a rainbow.
I sneezed
And wet my pants
I am old!
(4/2/13)
The sun is out and the wind is blowing my way
I’m here in the park with my grandson today
There are some kids with which he found to play
But it was for a short time, for their mothers took them away.
So with him I played a game or two of tag, football and
“Steal the old man’s bacon” – he would run and I would just fake it.
We walked over to the exercise course, but those were built
For a strong young horse.
Not even one push up or pull up could I do, I felt so ashamed
And didn’t know what to do.
I thought I was one active young 69 – “man oh man”
I sure am blind! ( ha- ha)
I do look young for my age and I feel like a very young man!
But who am I fooling? It’s just my scam.
I can still walk o.k. and jog a little
If you give me some of your cats “tender vittles” (ha-ha)
All of us will look back at our younger years and try to hide our inner fears
Of when you can no longer do it like you did before
Because time has closed that door.
Now the clouds are starting to roll in, and I’ll leave this park with a grin.
And think of how a grandfather played with his grandson
And I wasn’t the only one.
There are others sitting on the benches watching their
Grandchildren play.
When you get old! This becomes the way!
© L . RAMS
Getting old
When I was young I never thought about getting old
The years have past and I still hate the cold
When I was young I didn’t ever think
My life could pass by in just a blink
Now I’m one of the old men
It’s a big change from way back when
Some days it can be hard to get dressed
It’s a little easier to get undressed
It can be hard to put on shoes
I also need to turn up the sound to hear the news
Driving can be hard for some of us
We give up the car and take the bus
What may be hardest is to go to bed with a friend
Hoping to make it to the end
Getting Old
They say I'm getting old, or so it seems.
They tell me I'm retired, but I keep getting
ready to go to work.
I keep losing my glasses, I leave them
everywhere. Sometimes when I go to the
pantry - I can't remember, if I have to put
something in, or if I come take something out.
Sometimes when I come in the house - I can't
remember - if I have to close the door, or if I'm
just going out.
I have lost a lot of things, that I can not seem to
find, but the thing I miss the most - Oh my God -
it's my mind.
This old age business don't sit well with me. Don't
you think, I'm that old - I still know how to play
the game. I'm just old enough to know better...
03/17/2013
Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo
In reality i should be fat
With the amount of Birthday Cake
In ever increasing cricles i now consume
And i should keep fire extinguisher by my bedside
Because of the amount of lit candles my age doth now denominate
For i now celebrate a birthday what seems like every other morning
I could not wait to turn 16
Then waited an age to turn 18
And eternity to turn 21
But now that i am in my late 40's
Revising age has thus taught me
Time is burning up exponentially
And more and more i now miss
the simple things
Like having the lung capacity
to blow out more than 30 Candles
in 1 single blow
My once upon a time
To do List
Has now become a
Bucket List
And No 1
At the Top of my List
Is no more Birthdays
No more getting older
Stop all the Clocks
I am as old as i ever wished to get
Live fast die young
Leave a respectable corpse
Unless by some Miracle
By my next Birthday i am a Millionaire
Then I'll do a few more Year's
Champagne for Everyone
My hair has turned white
My get up and go has gone
But I still love life