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The Perils of Getting Old

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Having elderly parents I have lots of stories I could tell, but the perils of getting older hit me more and more as I see them deteriorate.

I’m getting older - this fact I cannot deny Not quite ready for the scrap heap or to give up life and die My body isn’t quite the same; my boobies have gone south But I keep on smiling with gleaming dentures in my mouth Got a spare tyre round my middle now, I really need berating Get a bit more exercise - soon the tyre will be deflating My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday I rely on Tena ladies now in case I dribble pee Sneezing, coughing and laughing can cause a little wee My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday I have three pairs of glasses now as my eyesight is getting poor I forget where I have put them – then I find them on the floor My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday My hearing is it is going too, I don’t hear what you say I need to buy a hearing aid but I’m putting off that day My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday My once brown hair is going grey and now I’ve hit the dye I colour it quite regularly you can guess the reason why My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday My joints creak and ache and they really need a rub I must buy some more Radox and put it in my bath tub My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday 21st March 2014 Submitted to 101 in a row contest #5 sponsored by PD Linda:-) Written from observation and experience … but I’m not admitting to anything!!! NB: UK Spelling of TYRE has been used

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Seosamh De Burca

Date: 7/19/2016 6:23:00 PM

Thank you for your clever and very funny poem I enjoyed reading it today. Congrats on your win also

Jan Allison
Date: 7/20/2016 5:56:00 PM

Thanks Seosamh:-) hugs Jan xx

Carol Eastman

Date: 7/18/2016 10:29:00 AM

This is definitely soooo me... LOL... and soooo true... Loved it! Congratulations on the win!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/20/2016 5:56:00 PM

I'm not admitting which bits refer to me Carol lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Merryman

Date: 7/17/2016 8:35:00 PM

Jan, this is so funny, but I know eventually it may be true. I hope it's a lot further down the road. Congrats on your win! Blessings!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/18/2016 3:40:00 AM

Thanks Kim:-):-) It was written only about 6 weeks after I joined the site - am so pleased its got greater exposure through the contest. I've read it a couple of times at open mike sessions and people have loved the humour:-) hugs jan xx

Bl Devnath

Date: 7/16/2016 11:52:00 AM

Whatever you do there's no problem in your old age but don't forget to take care of your hubby. Lol, it's an excellent poem my lovely smiling friend drawn with your fantastic pen mixing colors of fun and reality both. A great congrats to you. A great 7. Loved always, bl

Jan Allison
Date: 7/18/2016 3:37:00 AM

Thanks so much BL:-) hugs jan xx

Carrie Richards

Date: 7/16/2016 9:43:00 AM

If we cannot laugh about it, we may as well cry !! What a cute poem this is Jan! Congrats to you !!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/16/2016 10:55:00 AM

Thanks Carrie I was delighted to place so well I'd forgotten all about this poem she says firmly tongue in cheek:-):-) hugs Jan xx

Janice Canerdy

Date: 7/16/2016 7:49:00 AM

A 7 for this GREAT winning poem, Jan! Janice

Jan Allison
Date: 7/16/2016 10:54:00 AM

Thanks so much Janice:-) hugs Jan xx

S.Jagathsimhan Nair

Date: 7/16/2016 2:17:00 AM

Hello, Jan, Big congrats! But some take comfort from the saying 'you are only as old as the woman you feel'.lol.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/16/2016 10:55:00 AM

LOL thanks :-):-):-) hugs Jan xx

Skat A

Date: 7/16/2016 1:25:00 AM

Hey Jane, I see this was a past winning poem. Nice entry/awesome win. WUV **SKAT**

Jan Allison
Date: 7/16/2016 10:54:00 AM

Thanks so much Skat I am still smiling at the win in your contest:-):-) :-) hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/16/2016 1:03:00 AM

Jan, you put so much into this write, nice to see it again, Congratulations on your win. Stop by and enjoy my blog "The Perils of Getting Old" if you'd like. Always & Forever ~LINDA~

Jan Allison
Date: 7/16/2016 10:53:00 AM

I did a couple of tweaks to the original poem - great to be able to showcase this one again (I'd forgotten all about it she says tongue firmly in cheek lol) hugs jan xx

James Horn

Date: 8/8/2015 6:27:00 AM

Oh horrors I thought that peril was penis. Of course you understand that I am a 74 year old man almost married for 50 years who just completed his 1401st poem. Comparing first and last poems is very interesting. Don't you think. Anddd. I sent Kerry pictures of her uncle's name that was at Normandy. Jim Horn

Jan Allison
Date: 7/16/2016 10:52:00 AM

Thanks Jim:-) hugs Jan xx

Thomas Martin

Date: 5/20/2015 11:32:00 AM

Quite an accurate and humorous picture of growing old! Unfortunately I am in the same boat with you!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/20/2015 11:52:00 AM

Thanks for dropping by one of my older writes Thomas - i do appreciate your support:-) Hugs Jan xx

Cynthia Jones

Date: 4/18/2015 6:04:00 PM

Jan, getting old is great. Isn't it? Excellent write you have here my friend. Well done. :O) Keep up with the great work. Keep on penning. Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful and creative talents with us. We all truly appreciate it. *S* Cynthia

Jan Allison
Date: 4/18/2015 6:07:00 PM

Not so sure getting old is so good lol but if I live to a ripe old age like my mum and my health is ok then i won't complain - well I many but probably will have forgotten what I was complaining about lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 8/28/2014 4:26:00 PM

this is excellent and very funny. i just don't see how it applies to me though.

Maurice Yvonne
Date: 8/28/2014 5:15:00 PM

hahahaha!!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/28/2014 4:30:00 PM

Maurice I've got a feeling I have read this comment before - I am not sure where or when:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 8/28/2014 4:26:00 PM

this is excellent and very funny. i just don't see how it applies to me though.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/18/2015 6:06:00 PM

I have a feeling I have read this comment before... but i forgot to comment on it lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 5/31/2014 8:05:00 AM

Thank you for the comment on my comment, glad you had fun writing this poem.. Linda

Jan Allison
Date: 5/31/2014 8:12:00 AM

Darren will be in touch!!!!!!!!

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 5/29/2014 6:16:00 PM

Hello Jan AGAIN, for this contest... heheh,, congrats,, on the win. XOX~ Linda

Jan Allison
Date: 5/30/2014 1:51:00 AM

Thanks Linda. I had fun writing this LOL. Have made it a favourite in case I forgot i wrote it! Hugs Jan xxxx

Audrey Haick

Date: 5/29/2014 4:34:00 PM

Hilarious! Thoroughly enjoyed, Jan! Congratulations on a fine win! Thanks for reading mine! Love, Annalise

Jan Allison
Date: 5/29/2014 4:38:00 PM

was a really fun contest with lots of fantastic entries. Hugs Jan xxx

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 5/27/2014 1:47:00 PM

Cant remember if I congratulated you or not.. Cant remember if I congratulated you or not.. HAHA. I think this is one of the best. BG

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2014 1:53:00 PM

LOL Thanks Barbara - I'll make it a favourite in case I forget I wrote it ! Hugs and thanks for the lovely comments. Jan xxx I collaborated with Darren Watson on another poem for the contest - we write as 'jadazzle united' you may enjoy that too. hugs Jan xxx

Paul Callus

Date: 5/27/2014 11:38:00 AM

This, and your other humorous writes are a bonus for my day! Much enjoyed:) Congrats on your fine win. // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2014 12:11:00 PM

I do try to inject humour in to as many writes as possible Paul but the past few days have been so so tough for me but I'm through the worse and happy today. Hugs as ever Jan xxx

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 5/27/2014 5:57:00 AM

Congratulations on your fine win, Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2014 12:09:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment Dr Mehta, Hugs jan xx

Skat A

Date: 5/26/2014 8:46:00 PM

Jan, Congratulations, in Carolyn's "Birthday and Aging Humor" contest. Love ~SKAT~

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2014 1:34:00 AM

Thanks for dropping by Skat hugs Jan xx

Robert Lindley

Date: 5/26/2014 7:16:00 PM

Congrats on this fine write and great win!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2014 1:34:00 AM

Thanks Robert its made me smile which is what I need hugs Jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 5/26/2014 5:03:00 PM

Dear Jan, Enjoyed your poem. Portions of this poem are featured in the birthday booklet. Congratulations on your win and thanks for participating in a contest to wish some special ladies happy birthday. Love, Carolyn

Jan Allison
Date: 5/26/2014 5:24:00 PM

Thanks Carolyn I entered it never expecting to win as it was a long poem. I hope your lovely friends enjoy their birthday books it will be such fun reading it. Hugs as ever Jan xxx

Robin Davis

Date: 4/27/2014 12:23:00 PM

Jan HEY!!! Have you been stalking me and writing about it. Cause I have a LOT of the things on this list. LOL thank you for the great comment on my No Exit poem.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/27/2014 2:02:00 PM

I can't remember who it was written about Robin lol Hugs Jan x

Skat A

Date: 4/16/2014 5:57:00 PM

HI JAN, Congratulations, enjoyed stopping by. Luv ~SKAT~

Jan Allison
Date: 4/21/2014 12:04:00 PM

Thanks for dropping by Skat. Hugs Jan x