Best Gat Poems
The picnic was set for today:
A cause for two hips and hooray.
With Split and Blueberry,
Their time would be merry
That’s if nothing got in their way…
The deviled eggs had to come first,
‘Cause a picnic without them’s the worst.
They proceeded to beg
The hens for some eggs,
And boiled them when they were submersed.
But when Bat and Gat started to pack,
Their picnic plans went off the tracks.
It was almost Bat’s fault,
Since the pepper and salt
Hadn’t made it yet into the sack.
The only thing they had to do
Was to pick up their friends Split and Blue.
With a rabbit and goat,
And their deviled egg tote,
They could hike to the overlook view.
Well, the eggs made a pretty nice spread
When added to Split’s honey bread.
But, sitting down eating,
An unwelcome greeting
Then filled them with terror and dread.
’Twas the sound of a huge rattlesnake;
What a racket that rattle did make!
Though none could find him
Out front or behind them,
Poor Blue and Split started to shake.
Then Gat sprung away like the breeze,
And spied him from up in the trees.
She pointed to Bat
Where the rattler was at,
And told everyone else to freeze.
Yikes, the snake tried to strike at his knees;
Bat evaded his strike with great ease.
Quick did a side-stepper,
And doused him with pepper,
And the rattlesnake started to sneeze!
Well, that was the end of the battle;
They all could now safely skedaddle.
The pepper, in fact
Brought such an attack
That his sneezes set off his rattle!
They all walked home in the sun,
And all had turned out to be fun.
An eggcellent day!
Yes, hip, hip hooray!
Bat and Gat, hero cats, number one!
What a sad day out on the farm;
A raccoon got a chicken, did harm.
At the edge of the heather,
The large pile of feathers
Was enough to raise the alarm.
Bat and Gat knew they’d need an assist,
So they asked Juno dog to enlist.
They watched at all hours,
Did all in their powers,
But still one more chicken was missed.
They defended another attack,
But the raccoon would keep coming back.
So they thought, and they planned;
This was going to be grand.
They were taking a different tack.
Juno thought it a brilliant idea,
So they ordered some parts from IKEA,
With molasses and more,
That they got from the store
And the rest sent by boat from Korea.
Then they waited for all to arrive.
Their assembly could now be revived.
They put all together,
Then added the feathers,
And their Tar Chick looked very alive!
Just as soon as they put Tar Chick out,
Here comes that raccoon with a shout,
“Hey chickie babe, dear,
Please come over here!”
He said, “That’s what I’m talking about!”
Well the Tar Chick, see, she never spoke.
He said, “Ma’am, are your kin stuck up folk?
And he laughed and romanced,
Then he grabbed her to dance,
And that’s when the molasses jar broke.
You see, both of his hands were now caught,
And the more that he thrashed, worse it got.
With his head and feet stuck,
He has run out of luck;
It all stemmed from the trouble he sought.
Then Bat, Gat, and Juno reappeared.
From his head to his toes, he was smeared.
Of the Chick, there was nothing;
She’d lost all her stuffing,
But no longer was he to be feared.
He was quiet; he’d quit talking smack.
He was so scared they thought he would crack.
Once he understood,
He got hauled to the woods,
And that old coon, he never came back!
With the raccoon threat now gone away,
The chicks could come back out to play.
Hero cats for the win
With their big Juno friend,
Bat and Gat once again saved the day!
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With an obvious nod to Tales of Uncle Remus, by Julius Lester,
one my mother read to me, and I to my children, growing up.
Time to get with the grands and outline some more stories!
I got a gat
that's badder than yours
My rat-a-tat-tat
makes a whole lot of noise
My metal numbers,
whether big or small,
can outperform yours
in the streets or at the mall
I can go big
like a 357 Mag cannon
I can go small
like a 9 mil 'Retta soul getta
I got a gat,
my gat's badder than yours
It makes a mean rat-a-tat-tat
that stops all of the noise
If you wanna meet my gat,
and my gat wanna meet yours
It's okay,
just set the time
Corral your crew,
and I'll get mine
Then start the party blast,
and see who will win
Lets whittle down the cast
to the last man standing
I got a gat
that badder than yours
My rat-a-tat-tat
makes a whole lot of noise
I got a gat
that leaves a silent smoke trail
My rat-a-tat-tat
sends 'em all blazing straight to hell
A rather long tale, it is written:
The story of heroic kittens
The boy was called 'Bat'
The girl’s name was 'Gat'
By the end, you’re going to be smitten
In a medical flight to Ukraine
A supply box fell out of a plane
They were vaccines on ice
With some scary advice:
Keep this cold or you might go insane!
Well, on impact, it split open wide
And it spilled all the vaccines inside
They lay on the ground
No longer ice-bound
Till by rodents the contents were spied
Soon, the rats, in large numbers, had tried
The vaccines and a couple then died
But with toxic venom
That glowed deep within ‘em
The remainder were now zombified!
The kids were all outside to play
For it was a beautiful day.
But when they saw the prize
(All those rescue supplies),
Then suddenly, things turned to gray
The zombie rats started to swarm
They certainly looked to do harm
The kids were all trapped
No time to adapt
The forming of a perfect storm
And that’s when our heros stepped in
The odds were exceedingly thin
They clawed and they bit
With real gusto and grit
It was Bat and Gat for the win!
Now our kittens have grown rather fat
And they much prefer mouse over rat
The zombies are goners
The cats earned high honors
Hip-hooray, Bat and Gat, hero cats!
The cats had a rather slow day
So they went to the yard to play
All over the ground
Were nuts to be found
Before long, they had too much to weigh!
The porch, not the best place to keep
A large store of nuts in a heap
The local tree rats
Said, “what’s up with that?”
Swooped in to see what they could reap.
The squirrels saw the pile as a boon
Like a cache of Spanish doubloons.
To get such a stash,
Without using cash,
They’d be ready for winter real soon!
In the morning, the cats were in shock
At the sizable dent in their stock.
It was their belief
That they’d found their thief
When they dusted for prints with some chalk.
Well, they soon confirmed their suspicion;
Their sleuthing had come to fruition.
They watch the thief flee
To a giant oak tree
While committing walnut sedition.
At the oak tree, the rat turned and sneared.
Then his tree mates all joined and they jeered.
The gauntlet was thrown.
For honor! For home!
That’s when things took a turn for the weird.
So they fashioned a ready-made sling
From some swimsuits and elastic string.
With walnuts for bullets,
Gat loaded, Bat pulled it,
And launched at those squirrels with some zing!
The cats really pressed the attack;
It was non-stop noise: rat-a-tat-tat!
They were popping those squirrels
When our hero cat girl
Said, “I think we just gave our nuts back!”
Bat and Gat then felt a bit silly
Didn’t noodle this out, not really.
When you fend for yourself,
And store up your wealth,
Your brain’s a bit more like fusilli.
Bat and Gat learned a lesson on greed;
The experience planted a seed.
A hero first grade
Is quite often made
By sharing with others in need.
Bat and Gat were reading one day:
just too rainy outside to play.
They had opened a book;
pretty soon they were hooked,
and they both got carried away.
Curiosity sang a sweet tune
‘bout a cat and a cow and a spoon.
The pump got its prime
from a Mother Goose rhyme;
Bat decided he’d jump o’er the moon.
Cautious, Gat was pretty uncertain
when Bat slowly drew back the curtain.
When he told her his plan,
she knew in a brief span
that he and disaster were flirtin’.
So perhaps you recall the nut sling?
How they shot with an elastic string?
He just planned to build bigger,
With more stretch and vigor,
And launch himself out of that thing.
So he built him a giant slingshot
And with Juno, he pulled it back taut.
Gat said, “You’re going to die!”
as he aimed for the sky;
he said, “1, 2, 3 - ready or not!”
Bat got lofted at forty degrees
and he’d nearly cleared all the trees.
But it wasn’t quite autumn;
a leafy branch caught him.
Missed the moon; got a hive full of bees!
Well, that hive is what probably saved him.
For it softened the blow impact gave him.
But it sure rang his bell;
He got stung, and he fell,
and he barely hung onto a tree limb.
Well, Bat missed the moon: Holy cow,
Gat gave him the what for, and how!
Number nine took a dive;
we’re just glad he’s alive.
He's certainly one life down now.
Bat’s sure singing a different tune;
He no longer laments his lost moon.
Although he’s got eight,
and that’s pretty great,
there won’t be a repeat real soon.
Today was a good day to take
A swim with their friends at the lake.
It was sunny outside,
Not a cloud could be spied,
And morning was starting to break.
They packed up a thing or two
Before they met Split and Blue.
For Blue, some sun glasses;
For Split, some nice grasses.
‘Cuz that’s just what friends like to do.
Then they all headed up the hill
To splash, to float, and to chill.
But out in the lake,
They saw a dark shape,
The swim lost a bit of its thrill.
There it was! A leg? Or a fin?
Broke the surface, went under again.
Now what is that cretin?
We’d surely be eaten.
We’re certainly not going in!
So they launched the float in the creek.
With Bat’s claws, it soon sprung a leak!
To add to the scare,
The sound of the air
Made a terrible snake-hissing shriek.
Pretty soon, they were all in the drink.
“And what could be worse?” you might think.
A cat in the water
Is not like an otter;
Bat thrashed, and he started to sink!
Poor Gat was nowhere to be found;
She hung on a branch, upside-down.
Don’t laugh, to be fair,
Even heros get scared.
They cried, “Help! Stop clowning around!”
From her upside-down perch in the tree,
Gat was in a position to see
The strange water beast,
Getting ready to feast,
Was coming right towards all three!
Well, to all of their great surprise,
A turtle appeared, of great size.
“I’ve no plans to attack,
Quick, get on my back,
And I’ll get you to land; Hang on, guys!”
So they rode on the turtle to shore,
And they all thanked him down to their core.
A lesson learned well:
Some heros have shells.
But they don’t go for swims anymore!
Bat and Gat, on the porch, in the rain,
Lay in rest and surveyed their domain.
With it coming down hard,
Not much up in the yard
To keep hero cats entertained.
Then back at the edge of the woods,
Near the place where the old maple stood,
A mean-looking dog
Emerged from the fog
With his sidekick and up to no good.
Bat and Gat didn’t take it in stride;
Double-checking, kept eyes open wide.
The chickens were couped;
The goats were all grouped
With their guard dog right there by their side.
The two dogs were sniffing around,
But so far, no mischief was found.
Their sniffs were half-hearted
No real trouble started:
The rabbit fence there to confound.
All at once, it wasn’t so great
For the kids had forgotten the gate!
The dogs were right there;
They gave Blue a scare.
As they tried to tear open her crate.
Guard dog Juno’s as big as a horse.
They’re cats; they avoid her, of course.
But with trouble begun,
They needed big guns
And she was a true fighting force!
A rescue plan was quickly hatched;
Gat slid open the goat pen gate latch.
Then, bounding, comes (you know!)
The giant dog Juno,
And now we had a fair match.
Guard dog Juno then did what she should:
She scared those mutts off pretty good.
With no help to avail,
Let out yelps and tucked tail,
And they bolted it back to woods.
Poor Blueberry was a bit shaken,
But Bat and Gat had not forsaken
Their hero cat roles.
Now Bat, watchfully strolls
While Gat's rainy day nap is taken!
A Nubian goat they called Split
Was rehabbing her front leg a bit.
She was having a blast,
And the time flew by fast,
But she wasn’t quite ready to quit.
She suddenly realized she’d dozed;
It was later than she had supposed.
She was out in the gloam
And a far piece from home;
Her position was fairly exposed.
A coyote was out on the prowl.
Bat and Gat heard its far-away howl.
They hopped on the double;
Their friend was in trouble
Because things could quickly go foul.
So they headed down to the gate
It looked like they might be too late.
That evil wolf-dog
Had moved to a jog;
Now Split had an uncertain fate.
Well, they knew they were doomed in a fight,
For fearful and big was his bite!
So they devised a plan;
To the culvert, they ran.
There's a coyote to scare off tonight!
With Split, they all hid in the ditch;
Hoped they’d pull off their plan sans a hitch.
Stuck their heads in the pipe
When the timing was ripe.
(This next part is rather a stitch!)
Well, they howled, and they screamed, and they spat!
You’d have thought it was a mountain cat.
With the amplified sound
Like a lion surround;
The coyote would have none of that!
Then he turned tail and soon disappeared.
They could finally signal All Clear.
With Split in between
They soon split the scene
And let out a Hero Cat cheer!
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For those who have been breathlessly awaiting the second installment of Bat and Gat: Hero Cats!