Best Galah Poems
Once there was dingo, rabidly mad as he could be
who thought he was a Bruce of a man by how he spoke
But no man would call him their 'mate,' for you see...
he was a mongrel dog who pretended to be a bloke
The dingo who called himself 'Keefer,' was all talk-no bite
got caught chasing a galah (chicken) for want of a feast.
But ol' Keef got clawed by the rooster night after night
He was a drongo (fool) who thought he was a beast.
"Crikey!" I heard real men screaming from inside a bar
when they laughed at Keef wearing daks (male trousers)
He tucked his tail and ran from feathering with hot tar
"Get out, ya Hoon (hooligan)! We scorn rabble-rousers!
Keef was a loud mouth when he was blotto (inebriated)
Downing snag (sausages) and guzzling frothy (beer).
Tried to mate with a sheila (girl) but he'd been castrated.
Fair dinkum (that's true). He was neutered last year.
Some say he likes wearing female clothes, they swear.
He's such a hostile dingo, telling them to 'Rack OFF!'
But there's pictures of him in knickers (ladie's underwear).
and some of him before his little stub was sawed off.
I guess sometimes he gets to feeling clucky (maternal)
cuz he uses phrases like 'mother this and mother that.'
Looks like he'll end up some place heated and infernal
Dingo Keef's punishment for hurling all those brickbats.
A rabid dingo, that fool proved to be a fizzer (fizzled out)
His rants and threats to beat guys up were just a joke,
who was well-known as a bogan (hick) and a social lout
who accepted the truth. Ol' Keefer is now socially 'woke.'
Last I heard of him, he'd taken up with a mate called, Roo.
Another misfit creature roaming around in the outback
He played for hours each night, blowing into his digeridoo
because he couldn't stand Keef's braggin' and talkin' smack.
Roo felt relieved when the dingo, kinky Keefer disappeared
The one who'd been called 'the blunder from down under.
He'd mumbled for days about Milton Creek and Roo feared
that dingbat dingo would try to tear that town asunder.
Just like football I am waiting ,
on the side line,
To go up on the field,
Yes we are playing Goodooga,
Aboriginal big guys, tough as steel.
Here comes Albert racing faster,
Trotting down the bloody wing,
Gotta stop him, take him head on,
Hit his ankles, the hurting thing .
Fell him like a big old tree,
Pot belly lands on me ,
I’m a still a seeing stars,
Shadow sparring,
all round me ,
Get up you silly Galah.
So there I was out on the wing ,
Waiting for a pass to me.
Intercept, Albert's a coming ,
he passes ball, dodges see .
Just a few of broken arms,
Black eyes worn with pride.
Rugby Leage what a battle ,
Carry the ball through the other side.
Running for the other goal,
Sidestepped Albert, got there see.
Not a bloody forward pass, (illegal)
Planted it between the trees.
At 17 I was in an interstate game,
between Dirranbandi n Goodooga, we lost. (shame)
Robert Hinshaw, what you do is great,
i say because, its comedy in poetry,
we could use a few more like you,
to tickle us until we spew,
keep em coming on true blue,
till you sidestep out the gate.
THE POETS BLOODY FATE, MATE.
Yes Bob it's enjoyable,
tossing lines back n forth,
stirrin the possum one more time,
till he don't know south from north,
words do flow tween toe n toe,
never to be rich, but mates abound,
all around, jabbering onward forth!
good on ya Bob
ya aint no snob,
to know a Galah like me,
great words you talk,
I'll squeak n squalk,
till this bird is flappin free:)
Don
to bring a smile to a few dials, in the nasty world we have,
do whatever you do with style, if not call 4 a cab hehehe,
great hobby mate ...no debate ...but feedback brings it on ..
the words do flow ...sandgoanna goes ....but Johnson lingers on
on ya Bob
Don
After an hour I gave up in disgrace,
fumbling, embarrassed and too a red face,
with my girlfriends bra,
and feeling like a galah -
wish I hadn’t put it on in the first place.
there once was a man from afar
who stood and held forth at the bar
but the tort he invoked was no more than a joke
in defence of the hot pink galah
now the judge who was wearing a wig
when he heard this did dance him a jig
for a poor constitution conveyed no solution
in the case of the flight of the pig
so the case was referred to the crown
who replied with a quizzical frown
how dare this galah make a pig fly so far
i refer to the case of the clown
but the clown at the back of the court
said surely there's more of import
than pigs and galahs who can fly through the bars
when the judge is so easily bought
galah: 1-gregarious australian pink and grey parrot notable for its often comical behaviour
Fair dinkum mate I feel like a Tassie Tiger
And I’m not bullin’ you, and a real galah as well
How come this bloody sheila to such charms succumbs
I’m telling you me heart is racing and I feels like bloody hell
Might as well get stuck on the plonk and not sweat on it
Me life’s not worth a quid, cripes I’m really in a jam
I’m writing nothing but gobbledygook, I’m really up ****creek
Maybe I should kybosh this and shoot through like a Bondi tram
Don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha and me pins feel bloody weak
She’ll me right mate, me mates all say, he’s got buckley’s chance
So don’t just sit there like a stunned mullet, gal give it a go
Cripes love is in the air, and there are sure no flies on you
So put in the boot, and all bloody caution to the wind blow!
Tassie Tiger – extinct species
Bullin’ – kidding
Galah – an idiot
Sheila – woman
Plonk - cheap wine
Not Sweat on- not wait apprehensively
Quid – 2 dollars
Gobbledygook – nonsense
Up *****creek – in trouble
Kybosh – put a stop
Shoot through like a Bondi tram - make a speedy departure
Arthur or Martha - state of confusion
She’ll be right mate - giving reassurance
Buckley’s chance - no chance at al
Give it a go - tryl
No flies on you – you’re smart
Put in the boot -Drive home the advantage
Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S.
Contest Name FEBRUARY FUNNY BONE
Me Valentine
Me Valentine flashed past, bugger it,
With some Galah, from Garah, a Tom Twit,
Not needed for procreation,
I’ve lost yet another sweet ‘lation,’ (relation)
Sure of it, just having a blue black fit.
Don Johnson
Galactic marvel; Gallant Galahad to swimming gala.
Gallery of sirens lying galore; a sexy display.
On bed of Galax, a living Galatea, he sees Hallah.
A tactical Galago, he jumps wooing the gal to play.
In Galician, her Lactose voice: “Bring me Venus.”
Her wish send him in alacrity to the galaxy.
Over Milky Way and planets, he flies a genius,
Defying Big Bear and the Pleiades in vanity.
His tic, he mocks Galileo he meets high above.
He dances proudly around the galactic plane.
Gall he shows to grab the great Goddess of love,
none but Hallah;“Galah!”from her throne she mocks in disdain!
I have a couple of internet Friends in Australia
We like to joke around some, so I wrote them this,
To the tune of "Talk To The Animals" (Dr. Dolittle)
If I could talk to the Aussies
just imagine it
Babbling to a Bloke, in Blokaneses
Imagine Bantering with Bludgers
Chatting to a Cobber
What a neat achievement that would be
If I could talk to the Aussies
Learn all their dialects
Maybe get an Aussie slang degree
I'd study Cone Toad and Dag
Galah, Dill and Bag
And of course Ab-bor-rid-gin-e
I would parle in Punter and Piker
And would curse in fluent Kangaroo
If i'm asked , "Can you speak 'Banana Bender' "
I'ld say "Both Genders, can't you"
If I could talk to the Aussies, learn their languages
Think of all the things we'd disagree
If I could walk with the Aussies
Talk to an Aussies
Slang and Bang and hang with an Aussies
And they could Slang
and Bang
and Hang
with Me !
Sue Hickey reminising
In the land of the Kiwi where the sun forgets 2 shine,
Sue had been cooking up some ole purple dyed cat mince,
Home staggered a boyfriend and a Drongo glassy eyed,
And hunger called a meeting, I’m convinced,
The cat mince was a cooling on the table,
tasty but unstable, It was a bit manky, im advised,
Not the sweet aroma of jolly aunt Ramona,
with the taste of unwashed toes,
but not 2 rotten I suppose,
the eggs sucker and the Drongo weren’t so wise?
So toast was made and mince got scoffed,
And cats were deprived until,
The Drongo heaved, and brought some back to try,
He was sucking from the bucket, till he got his bloody fill,
Twice eaten cat tucker and the red of purple dye,
But the cats were vengeful still,
When the Drongo finished swill,
They pounced upon him at his open fly,
They were chewing on his stoneys,
As he said softly moany,
Aunt Rita you’re a gift I can’t deny
Don Johnson
Apologys to the Aussie Drongo bird
Bad mouthing you say he is a Drongo or a Galah,
Both birds ….
i just shoulda not jumped in front of dat trukkkk....joke sent to me..
saw it happen going to work one morning,
guy jumped in front of a speeding bus in his little car,
and braked for the amber light,
......kerlunkkkkkkkkkk.....writeorfff
If ya drivin in ya car,
ya dumb dum galah,
and ya thinking of dicing with a truck,
the buggers caint stop,
pull up,
till ya deadly ded-head,
out of luck,
and the bitumen is red from your guitar,
so stay away from truckers bumperbars,
cos funerals always seem 2 bloody suck,
stay in that other lane, ol hound-dog Huck ...
Don Johnson
Been a trucker and seen people cause accidents by jumping in front of speeding Trucks 18 wheelers etc.....they caint stopppppp...if they is carrying several tons, to grind you into jam:(
Once upon a summer’s sandwich, over in Birdgum Hollow, the one from the old kingdom, not new.
There lived two birds, one glam, a falconet, and one an Australian blue-grayish cock-eyed Cockatoo.
Freddy, the falconet was a quirky, slow-witted, conclosed and obstinate bird,
He liked to strut, and preen and crow, without the penalty of learning any new kind of word.
Galah, who was raised an only, with no mind for his own, was completely closed to ideas that fell.
It was his family’s wishes, so his wishes as well, and it worked for him on Earth, extremely well.
They were furious bird-emies from kindergarten on, neither realizing the solution was no Mr. Airy,
It was simple, it was easy, all they needed was reading, and a common old ordinary red dictionary
“I hate him!” Galah would say. To those who listened. “He’s a Francophile!” And Galah would say this to lots of us who heard.
Freddy was equally verbal about Galah being a Gallophile, a word that struck terror in his oatmeal curd.
Neither realized until they got to heaven and saw the fibriform sign “Gallophiile and Francophiles here,”
That they could have been friends for a lifetime, except for their silly, ridiculous, racially motivated fears.
For you see, my reader, and I know this will delight you in advance.
A Gallophile and a Francophile are both people who love France.
So skip through your day, and enjoy this knowledge on me.
If there’s one thing I like, it’s to enlighten at least three.
Last Saturday it’s to the pub,
and walk inside the public bar,
where I met up with Tommy Judd,
who is at time’s a chump galah.
Tom was looking smart and slick,
in a custom tailored outfit.
Too flash to wear in public bars;
more suited as a Toorak kit.
‘Where’d you get that fancy clobber?’
I asked Tom and brought a drink.
Tom proudly smirked and stated,
‘It’s gifted from my wife I think.’
‘Yes my wife always surprises me,
but from work I came home early,
and there they were, my surprise -
she’s such a precious girlie.’
‘I could feel her enduring love,
for there’s this custom coat to wear,
plus these trousers in our bedroom,
and both draped across a chair.
men are referred to as "that Galah over there,"
a grey n pink parrot they aint rare...
or "Drongo Jack" from the city town,
duck the uppercut a coming down.
Greased hair Rockers they were cool,
leather jackets , shielas drooled...
sometimes just a bloke,
sucking on a beer or coke,
altogether cool,
vertical aint no vegativebool....
so there Linda-Marie,
how it was or is,
way south of the border,
Don Johnson
No Ignacious
Have we been tried and yet seen mortal
Have we failed the test once more
Have we passed the birthright portal
Have from baby known the score
Now talking told my mother
How I drowned in the big blue sea
And another time, yet another
When the shark made a meal of me
For we inhabit many spheres
Live and die to get it right
There’s just not only here
come back young errant Knight
But I’m as old as the morning star
was there when Adam met Eve, hurrah
many times and many places
just one planet no Ignacious
I lived out near the morning star
I herded sheep and goats, galah
I died and joined the flow to blend
came back to Earth my deeds to mend
Don Johnson