Best Gag Poems

       ~ the sad sea greets me, ebb and flow ~

why do I fancy heartache so?
   ...

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But they already had a cat
ME
Meow
How could they
Making me share my chow
My bed
My toy rat with the ripped head
My nip, my nap, my blue blanket...

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Turmoil
God awful gut wrenching 
nightmare riding
turmoil.

Throat clenching
acid rising murder of crows,
False importance on the trivial grows.

A gag reflex of learned fear
turmoil roils hurricane high
calms counterweight...

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Why Oh Why Oh Me.

Oh why oh why do have so much bad luck
 My hands are tied
My feet are stuck
I’d be much better off...

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I penned a couplet for you today.
Rather, a quill manipulated
my hand and scrawled mendacity.
The misanthrope's who read the ode
applauded with flippers on.

Such insight. Such depth.

Mussolini...

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Oh - Emm - Geeeee !!!

Who me??

OMG!...I'm gonna wig out, doing this poem!!
A ditz like me writing for a freakin’ contest, no less!!!??
You gotta be...

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Blowing through a vast crevasse –
from whirling tempest; 
to calming balm on wounded skin;
to constant howl;
to sunlit kiss, onto warm lips –

I am a promise,...

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[Advance Apologies: Sat on this for a few months
Concerned that it may be a little OTT for Soup. If
Your gag reflex is sensitive... best skip...

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With cavemen like grunts they extract themselves from their pit
Unable to communicate on a level you can understand …
spouting three letter syllables such as ...

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“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn...

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There once was a crusty old hag
whose poetry made people gag.
She once wrote a sonnet,
the folks threw up on it
and tossed it away in a...

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Casarah wants us to write happy
That’s not an easy job
My fickle muse has left me
She’s turned into quite a snob

She won’t let me write a...

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Carrots for breakfast, carrots for lunch, Carrots for dinner, crunch, baby, crunch.
What are your immediate feelings about soup on a plate?
Vegetable and broccoli potato are...

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Poor old Mr. Perry,
Became a lowly pawn;
His ugly neighbor's dog,
Kept poopin' on his lawn

Big ol' piles of logs,
Standing inches high;
An odor so vile and funky,
You'd...

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I must admit that I ain't very handy with hammer and nails,
And am hopelessly at sea when figurin' technical details.
As to fixin' things with fancy...

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