Best Frenchmen Poems

“Die Another Day”


“Your mission, should you so deem it,
Is to infiltrate ALL Fluff Clusters in K.A.O.S. Headquarters
And bloody well steam it!”


“The Place is a hazardous mess of a trap
Over run with Double Agents, ulterior motives
Amorous Nuns-on-the-Run drooling ardent dreams 
of swimming naked
in buckets of Blood...

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The leaves were turning red and gold;
And frost was in the air.
When they rounded up the Acadians,
From Miquelon and Saint Pierre.

It was a time for groaning;
A cry from Cajun lips.
When they rounded up those Frenchmen;
And loaded them on ships.

So they came to "Louisiane;"
A strange and...

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I guess I will, have to admit
My english ain't that good
But thought I'd find a contest
To win one if I could

But when I started reading
The words found on 'That List'
I instantly realized
There's schooling that I've missed

Is Alouette's some kind of song
I heard, frenchmen sing before
Is...

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The Student

As I strolled upon the green
and take in the breathtaking view of the front lawn
the onrush of winter geese take on the horizon, 
				waking me to my senses.

The silent roar of two lions guard the entrance
the entrance that now greets me from the summer...

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Limerick : Once a tongue-twisting Pop Man-Eater

Once a tongue-twisting Pop Man-Eater
Went on rampage with just her Strummer
Tunes she hissed were so sweet
Crunched Frenchmen by the fleet
Watch Out ! ‘Merica ! for this Nor’-Easter !

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013...

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Monkey Hangers
(A little historical factoid from your Uncle Mike)

According to local folklore
In England, there at Hartlepool
A monkey was hanged from a yardarm
A monkey that wasn’t a ghoul
It happened way back in a war time
Napoleonic to be exact
A French ship was wrecked of the coast there
That...

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William the First was our last king to come uninvited
though invincible armadas have sometimes been sighted.

Foreign kings were imported in cases of doubt.
Native kings had the habit of getting thrown out.

In the War of the Roses none tipped the scales
till the fray was joined by...

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Resistance On The Iberian Peninsula

“Liberté, égalité, fraternité (Liberty, Equality, Fraternity),”
Scream French revolutionists as they guillotine monarchists heads, 1
Then crown Napoleon Bonaparte Emperor of France, 2
Who commands the French forces in wars raged across Europe.

The Grande Armée has defeated the ‘Fourth Coalition:’ 3, 4
And in 1807,...

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My favorite wild animal is 
as strong as Hulk Hogan
and eats fresh quail.


She is as strong as 
Chuck Norris, and Rocky,
and they fly faster than mail.


My favorite animal makes a 
hungry cheetah look unnaturally slow.


He conforms into a aerodynamic 
teardrop when he hunts below.

My favorite...

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Eighteen hundred and three begins U.S. destinies.
Merriwether Lewis and his comrade, William Clark, agrees –
They will go forth, avoid Frenchmen, fighting growling grizzlies.
To find a water trade route that flows west to the Pacific seas.
Louis and Clark, embarked, sparked, as told in fabled stories.
They recorded...

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'Tis said that the young girls of France
At the age of twelve lose their pants
To an handsome young knight
Well equipped for the fight
With a strong but flexible lance

Les Françaises are known to cavort
For sex is their national sport
That thing between thighs
Is the Font of Sighs
Though...

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Greetings to those who would willingly seek admission to theater of the absurd. Zoltan Goliath and Otis Trench are masters of the avant-garde genre silent musicals for the imaginary stage, an art form sui generis. That they are not well-known beyond the fringe element constituting...

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(Now we hear from the murderess.  She explains 
that she killed Calmette because he published
love letters which she had written to her husband,
a minister in the government.  It is true that she
made her own way to the police station, having
given her word that...

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Immigrants are very useful now
Roast a Turk  to  share with all your street
Eat a Greek and let the people squeak
A Viking flames the pudding with a bow

Try a German sausage  in the Court
Eat him with a knife and fork  and bread
Frenchmen...

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The Other Battle of 1066
                               by Bob Moore © 2019

In 1066 Harald Hardrada, wanted the...

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