Best Flatulent Poems

POINTING TO THE PROBLEMS 
  {Bivouacs}

Beat down with legal fees
Tied up with taxes;
Tripped up with mortgages;
Ripped off with student loans
Insulted with insurance
Telephone updates.

Out of...

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Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her...

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Bittersweet 
	
Jose cuts the canes one at a time cursed by poverty's grind

What else does he want since he works on sweetness all
  ...

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An old gal applied to join Mensa
Gee she couldn’t be any denser
She went in the wrong door
On the thirty third floor
And there she enrolled as...

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Rancid lemon rope squeeze
around a rotten tomato neck tie,
crooked odor bow hanging out of place 
Acid reflux raisin tax bleed;
dripping spoiled, milquetoast lies
out a sour-twisted,...

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In the beginning there was a lonely word but soon after
            there was no...

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"Paper Tigers"



eyes mark slow time
spotting leopard rhyme
never changing its spots
black balled
white pops
the want-to-be bees
sting the dripping honey spot

slapping cards down
kitty pots are shuffled
bluffing intelligentsia
between the...

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Sniper hid vapors
tend to always bullet strike
with stealth air carrier accuracy

Silent noxious assault
pierced the nostrils
with oxy painful inhalation,
of the non-ventilated third degree 

Deadly gaseous arrows
hit...

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the dogs were happy
did not have to dig deep
in bomb craters and
makeshift graves 
they licked at pulverized bones
and liquefied brains
slurped up the proceeds of war
and...

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As the Dime Store sirens flared
bolts of irradiated invite,
my query was denied.
     Their pimp-striped pilots only moaned, 
   ...

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Compelled to tell her story
On her throne with pen in hand
A narrative of such glory
Revered through out the land

A story of a gentle breeze
Paired with...

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It began as an idea.
Hopped up on my dendrite highway.
Zoomed through my wide-open interstate and took me on a ride.
I was holding on as hard...

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Beautiful is your foot with the stabbing nails.
The yellow and green ones that have never been cut.
Gorgeous is your gaping mouth with the missing teeth.
And...

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If you hear the sound of rat-tat-a-tat
It's not a woodpecker or a chattering cat
Tis George F. Latulence an aristocrat
Playing ping pong with his gold crested...

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(Created using the bAbBlE sentence generator, various text excerpts, and a minuscule bit of human editing.) 

And she smells good without keeping all ...

Beef, sitting...

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