Best Employee Poems
You've been invited to a hot debate:
A dangerous war between two fighters.
Those who are fighting with extreme hate.
An inspiring topic for sci-fic writers!
One side is the boss, the king of the earth,
Who's glory of his Territory.
The Lord gave his fade at the time of birth.
Should everybody reads the story!
On the other side: a real underdog!
Someone who has been neglected for years!
Poor employee, like a tiny bug,
Should be killed and then, hanged from his ears
[Employee:]
I always do more than what they expect,
Hoping to be seen, willing to get "Thanks!".
But they don't give me, award or respect.
They just put money in their goddamn banks!
[Boss:]
They always discus about football games,
or about movies, when they are working.
They stand against the company's aims.
I should catch their faults, while keeping lurking!
[Employee:]
I'm real pro, hard-worker and keen,
In my job field I'm a unique expert.
famous companies (Top-Levels I mean)
are seeking me in jungle and desert!
[Boss:]
They are useless guys who waste resources
Why don't we fire them?! How soulful we are!
I like to march on their heads with horses!
and tie their bodies to tail of my car!
new employee
flings red socks in a white load
pink slip
1-25-2012
Sponsor John lawless
Contest Name SIMPLY SENRYU
Sexual Employee
It clocked in at 7:02 am
No orifice in sight
Placed the time card in a slot
Made its way to a metallic table
Blank white paper on the top
#2 lead pencil, covered yellow, appeared
One hour later the employee began to draw
At the center of the paper starting at point “A”
A thin line was drawn from there to point “B’ on the page
Horizontal, naturally
Below that, one hour later, another line was formed
Starting at point “C”
It too was a thin line drawn and continued on to point “D”
Horizontally, of course (the two lines never intersected)
Vertical lines could only be drawn on Fridays
Diagonals were not permitted
They were perverse and went against the laws of nature
The employee had no discernible features worth mentioning
But, it does come to work each day though
With two buttons built or installed into its side
It rolled over to the clock at 4:02 pm and punched out
Placed the time card in a designated slot and left
Went home with the push buttons still installed
One red. One green. Always the same
We never questioned
It is not our job
Working for years, in TIME FACTORY ,
I follow every order of my boss THE CLOCK,
I wander in space from dark to shine,
Knocking every door, every district and every block.
Many people just avoid the knock,
Some who open the door, shut it back for once and for all,
I think I m not scary enough to make them so shock,
But that’s cruel truth, most of them are so scared afterall.
Only few open their doors to welcome me,
They respectfully greet me,
Courageous are they, not scared of me,
They take the risk and call me in.
I believe even with odd looks, I deserve some respect,
I introduce myself to them as OPPORTUNITY,
Though they are shocked by my identity fact,
I gift their life with sense of success and security.
I’m OPPORTUNITY disguised as weird soul,
much like angel but not so pleasing for all,
My wings ascends from my feet,
I do not wait long, for anyone,
Wings give me the power of speed,
Once ignored I will come back for none.
I hide my identity,
With scanty hairs falling across my face,
I decide your destiny,
Once u reveal true colours of your face.
What is weirdest about me?
It is bald backhalf of my head,
But its god’s great dynamics,
Once I fly off, you cant hold my hairs and grab me back.
My name is opportunity,
I knock at every door,
Without any discrimination and partiality,
I give you the choice to open the door or to ignore.
THE COMMON COLD
Have you ever felt like you were going to die?
And you knew good and well the reason why;
and as you got sicker and sicker;
and the heavy gloom grew thicker and thicker,
it began to seem like the very end,
so I decided to call my very best friend.
And when I called him I told him
"I think that I will never see
anything again as lovely as a tree;"
and he sighed because
he himself was feeling a little sad;
and he said "Cheer up, friend,
it can't be that bad!"
And I told him for sure, for sure it was.
But I got no sympathy
as an injured person does;
and I started to feel bent out of shape
and even mad. E-gad!
And I began to think that that friend of mine
was a bit of a cad.
And then suddenly my temperature broke;
and I cracked another one
of my world famous jokes;
and my friend laughed and snickered and told me
he thought it was one of my finest;
and I said no it wasn't
and thanked him for his kindness;
and then when I hung up my phone,
I smiled, sat down and knew that I would live forever,
because a dying person never has enough energy
to be that clever.
Janet Marie Bingham
I missed the meeting, again.
‘It was important’ -
My manager rebukes me often;
But if I knew it was
I would promulgate to my whole family
In its entirety: Attend!
No questions asked!
The new employee calls in sick weekly.
On Monday this week.
On Tuesday last week.
On Wednesday the week before.
We wonder why he does not get into trouble.
Until we hear him call the boss
“Uncle Bradley”
Steve Job’s took away Job’s
His mischief and mishaps
all becoming a frequent accident,
only the quest for a selfish satisfaction
makes him prudent.
Research on loopholes and hidden corners
he stays ardent
busier than all others
but a broad day light rodent.
For almost every fulfilled task,
there is a dent
no matter his might,
the general takes his orders from the president.
The day power is restored
to reveal an incident
he’ll be expelled without a second thought
like a notorious student.
Sound the sirens, tell them to bring oxygen in their company
I'm overdosing on apathy, forcefully devouring justified anger
Sound the alarm, I'm just a volcano waiting to blow
I can't bury my head in sleep
the world has ordered all beds made of steel
my head full of lead
a magnet to the floor but a consistent bell nailed to the door
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
In the monologue I've written for myself
the phrase that protrudes the most
yet the ears it needs to pierce
go on about their day while I bear the brunt of my words
in my blistered littered feet
shackles on my ankles
if they didn't want me to walk, they've been better off
taking a butcher knife to the shins
so I'd never talk again
but leave it to me to call it all my fault
embrace the flaws, force a smile
say I understand when I may
still not excusing the fact
that it's been my face on target they've been shooting darts at
numbering the days 'till I leave
If I go down, I'm going down in handcuffs
It's been four months shy of a year
sound the sirens cause I'm throwing merchandise
sound the sirens cause I'm knocking over shelves
sound the sirens cause I'm shouting 'till my lungs collapse from aggravation
call the ambulance, call the ambulance, CALL THE AMBULANCE!
I've caught the case of American Blues
I've caught the case of Ambulance Anxiety
because I can't excuse how this corporate society plan
has me by the throat, a death grip
I could transform into a masked vigilante
in full bat-like attire, fight my way out but beneath the mask
I'd be the same villain I'm fighting against
so who am I really fighting
Corporations or poverty?
Don't listen to me, don't take this to heart
who am I kidding
just raise your fist in agreement
if you're suffering from the Ambulance Anxiety of American Blues
an employee who's just had enough of their job too
TIRED WALMART EMPLOYEE
harried
married
tarried
carried
she was harried, married to a jerk
never tarried, carried on with work
20 January 2018
For contest sponsored by Kim Rodrigues
In my little corner of earth
I shall work and toil
But at the bell, my day is done
I am no longer loyal.
Trade in my chains for currency
For as long as I can fend
But Again, I will be in bondage
When the next work week begins
And so it goes
On and on
And on and on
Until I am old and frail
And no one will ever know
What stories I had to tell
The world will keep going
As will I, but with regret
That I didn't choose my own path
And instead followed the rest
keep your tags, your plans, your work, your rules,
I need them not.
Cause when I leave,
I will be free,
This slave will not be caught
If you’re looking for a guy approachably honest,
A man who will stand by his word,
If you want a guy who prefers to be happy,
And won’t brag about how much he’s earned,
Treats colleagues at work with respect and regard,
Isn’t selfish or arrogant or mean,
Who lives for the good things enjoyed in our life,
Is proud to be healthy and clean,
Then I know a guy who fits in this mould,
He’s confident and clever and fun,
He can think of a solution for every small issue,
He’ll finish what he has begun,
He’s a man I know well, dependable and driven,
He’d be a valued and true employee,
He’d work with the team achieving the goals,
And his name, well hello, he is me.
Quick to forget the Off-Duty Grant
That makes bosses not rant
Easily treating An Observer,
To a levity of A Grieving Server
All stops are boldly pulled out
Like irritable errors struck out,
All restrictions kicked aside
Or left to their time bide!
It’s a being who has glimpsed obligations
Vain Boss would never understand,
Their delayed handling with implications
He might at last not withstand.
One doesn’t tears check for a Great Symbol
While on Earth virtuous and humble;
He who had to part with a noble life,
Forthwith ending a worthy strife …
Liable to be admonished
And sometimes stiffly punished
For a daring of The Bottlenecks
That a good file wrecks
Is the Employee in bereaved time
Not bothered that office clocks also chime.
company memos are flowing out
escaping like fireflies in July
overly communicative
no confidences now
leaking information
losing credibility and integrity
hoping for likeability
worlds worst employee
no confidentiality
lack of professionalism
she has put our company at risk
jeopardizes our future and her own