Best Dumped Poems

It’s a smooth and tasty way to get high.
Try my distillation of mash made from corn and rye.
I make it from my family’s secret recipe.
The only one who knows about it is me.
The stuff comes out of my trusty hidden still.
I have it standing in...

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The aircraft landed in Nigeria,
The day, 27th December, year 2018
And the airport taxi brought him home,
Mornings and afternoon's
Filled with sounds and sunshine
Amongst the family.
The affluent splendor of his foreign accent herald the days
Yuletide season! He's come from abroad, well, Europe.
* *

As the dying day dies...

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To all the women that dumped me over the years
I got something to tell you that will shed tears 
When I go down there
I don’t come up for air
Cause I learned to breathe through me ears...

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One day, one of our daily papers carried a story about a teenage girl who 
dumped a baby;after carrying the baby for nine months in her womb.
And nowadays,it is common for teenagers to throw their babies in pit latrines,
 drainage,and rubbish sites;
Why acting in such...

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My ex broke my heart and left me a Dear John note.
Surprisingly I took it very well and just let her go,
after I tied that note to a brick and threw it through her window....

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On my ex-nothing birthday 
my next-nothing dumped me

Oh vicious coincidences!

I know not which I am more tired of
exes or nothings
(or ice holes?)
or coincidences
or things
or 
or

just all together


nexts




22.06.2016...

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I give advice that helps people get out of relationships that are bad.
When my advice gets you dumped, you will be grateful and glad.
The best way to get dumped is to go three months without bathing.
Your companion will bust down the door to get away...

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once, you promised me everything
my heart smiles with the love you bring
the song of love we used to sing
twice you tried, thrice i got nothing

i know we're not Barbie and Ken
promises made to be broken
and hearts given, these hearts taken
these hearts taken to be broken

we...

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Last night she called, 
I picked quickly 
"Hey darling" cold voice whispered
"Yes dear" amorously I wanted to get her aligned
"How have you been? 
"You know I've missed you" she continued with a wild rage.
I stressed how I missed her too,
And how I wish we were...

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Everyone kept asking, "who was she? "
I said, " The one who kept ignoring me"

Each day without you seemed so long
I never understood what I did wrong 

Then later I saw you with another boy 
Never would I have guessed I would be...

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There was an accomplished agile plumber,
he could screw nut in bolt in deep slumber.
Wife felt his spanner placed right,
drove her sleep away each night.
She dumped him, reason he didn’t remember.

January 5, 2019.
Syllable count : 10/10/7/7/10
Checked on howmanysyllables.com...

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Was the Christmas tree left?
Dumped? Or gently placed?
No one knew, for elves are sneaky.
They wanted the animals to wonder.

The owl flew down for a closer look.
The deer and the fox blinked at each other.
Could they maintain a civil air?
The rabbit hopped over to declare “placed”.

Raccoon...

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The angry young man was dump
When he stole his girl friend's red pumps
He struted and swagged
Realized he's been tagged
As a cross dresser and a lame chump...

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I feel like the worst witch.
Yeah you didn't mine decline anything at all.
But she did to you right?
So you cried that day right?
I did every day.

Do you find the problem?...

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Seems like we got dumped on today
Between 20 and 30 cm forecasters say
Had it easy so far
Blessed our lucky stars
Welcome to spring bright sun every day...

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