Best Douchebag Poems

Whinging is contagious around here,
I just never met Mr. Right, my dears,
But I have met some right players,
Like loverat Mr. Liar,
or Mr. *******, too bad,
Then there is Mr. Player,
or Mr. *******, too bad,
Then there is Mr. Douchebag,
Yes, whinging is contagious here,
Too bad I never met...

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Out with his boys drinking, feeling rowdy
Special occasion
Rolling the way they do
His lover is not with them
She stayed in for the night
He misses her company
But enjoys his time with the guys
He'll swing by later

A local city bar
Not anything special
Just talking trash like they talk
Cheap drinks
Fun

The...

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when did the 
douchebag get his own
beard?
when did the pencil-thin
maintenance of the facial
hair of a male
become something 
with which 
we walked with our heads
held high?---
first time i saw this
idiot stripe 
wrapping round the
larded jowls of a man
was when that fat bastard from
smash mouth
came hopping around
“singing”...

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Trumpeting cauliflowers never blow eggs backwards onto a postal stamp. So never kick a cabbage to a kerb. Oh watch now. All drive safely. Harmonics in a queue are indestructible and indescribable too. Oh counting. Fun fun fun but not for an atom. They prefer...

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1.  If she wants you to meet her parents, for God’s sake, RUN!
2.   I said, RUN!
3.   Unless of course she’s pregnant, then you have to marry her.
4.  You may be a douchebag, but you’re a responsible douchebag (and a...

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There was an orange tanned douchebag called Trump

		Playing hero on a bicycle pump

			When inflating his Ego

				Before sorting the Lego

		The great wall crushed with a flatulent thump


	London BoJo called Muslims a post box

		Surely they spread contagion and small pox

			We must rule the waves

				Or else we'll be...

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