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Best Dead As A Doornail Poems | Poetry

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Details | Dead As A Doornail Poem | Create an image from this poem.

Oh, Christmas Tree

An unusual thing occurred at our house Christmas Eve.
It caused us anger, it was enough to make us grieve.

We waited to the last minute for a live Christmas tree:
A brimful tree of precise size, with perfect symmetry.

On Christmas Eve, we pulled it inside the house to trim.
As we tugged it through, we discovered something grim.

Although the tree was green, it was dead as a doornail.
As we carried it in, pine needles rained down like hail.

It was too late to find another tree, the problem to rectify.
“We can’t have Christmas without a tree,” I wanted to cry.

Long gone the days to trek into woods & chop one down.
I wanted to stomp my foot, I wanted someone to crown.

Not only was there no tree, we vacuumed piles of needles.
“Honey, we need an artificial Christmas tree,” I wheedled.

 ‘After Christmas sales,’ afforded us a great opportunity.
  Now, I can decorate the tree each year, with impunity.

  No worry about limbs drooping, no watering to do. I
   like the convenience. I like the look of it too. After 

                               the tree 
                            that counts, 
                       it’s what’s under it. 
                        Don’t you agree? 

Copyright © Cona Adams | Year Posted 2014

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Going to get a “haircut” today Actually getting all of them cut Cutting just one would hardly be noticed Now I'm being a silly nut There's many other sayings similar to this English is overloaded I find Wanna hear some others I've discovered Well stay tuned it'll blow your mind “Keep your nose to the grindstone” Now THAT'S gotta smart I'd say See what I mean, don't follow this advice You'll feel pain from here to Sunday How about this one, “eye candy” It certainly has me bamboozled “Less is more” is another that's confusing Looking for others for your perusal Here's another, “left in the lurch” Pretty sure they meant left in the “church” “Dead as a doornail” as dead as you can be Gonna do a little more research To “peter out” means to dwindle away Has a certain sexual connotation Put it back in, it's a public place You'll be arrested for excessive potation “I rest my case”, now here's another one Wasn't even carrying a case Okay gonna “put this thing to bed” Yikes! Can't wipe this grin from my face! © Jack Ellison 2013
POTATION • the action of drinking something, esp. Alcohol: I intend to abstain from potation. • (often potations) a drinking bout: the dreadful potations of his youth.

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Cable Crisis

I'm feeling mentally unstable
Apparently I just lost my cable
Television done gone on the fritz
Gonna' miss my Monday Night blitz
Telephone dead as a doornail
Can't check my freekin' email!
This service ain't nothin' but trash!
Guess I'll go to the bar and get smashed
What's this? It's back on? How 'bout that?
Guess I won't need this baseball bat...

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2012

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Eulogies for the Recently Revived

Certain it is to be at steady aim
at any time
at any place
the dead mans eternal race

Shock the barstool
take the shots
given by the winged sculptures who gawk from the pughes
A pecking order in the house of flocks

Not important enough for dirt
decomposition of the minds eye comes last
Anatomy has no hidden agenda
just a set of character traits it’s amassed 

Forced entry
Chalk it up to bad luck
dead as a doornail
stiff as a board
the cliches have run amuck

Just a standard breach of contract
between humanity and oblivion
Don't take offense

Trust there will be no forgiving
So what is said 
at the end of your life
if the question is "how was it truly living?"

Copyright © Martin Graham | Year Posted 2010

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Dead Giveaway

I look through these trinkets
You've collected since birth
I'm left here to wonder
Do they have any worth

People didn't matter
For them you had no use
It was things you cared for
people you gave abuse

Your life partially lived
Didn't end soon enough
You created pain
In the pursuit of stuff

Dead as a doornail
your things left behind
Given away to others
Now in death you are kind

Copyright © Richard Lamoureux | Year Posted 2012

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Why Didn't the Armadillo Cross the Road

Why Didn’t the Armadillo Cross the Road?

By Elton Camp

We see them on the highway dead as a doornail
Despite a suit or armor over all but head & tail
Is it because they’re stupid or are they just slow
That so many deaths by cars armadillos undergo?

It is because they have such a strange survival skill
It works well in the woods, but on roads will kill
When its natural predator happens to come around,
All its legs go down and shoot it high off the ground

So that whatever enemy of the armadillo stands there
Will quickly run away because it got a frightful scare
But in the event a speeding car, the armadillo is atop
It hits the bottom of the car when it tries its usual hop

Take note if you are the operator of a road-kill café
From armadillo and its meat you better stay well away
A small percentage of them, the germ of leprosy carry
So as to carving them up for food, you should be wary

Copyright © Elton Camp | Year Posted 2011

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Ashes to ashes

Never to be hurt, by another so called man.
My heart is now shattered, in pieces like glass.
You drug me thru your hell, now it's my turn.
I'll gladly strike a match, and watch your demons burn.
Ashes to ashes dust to dust.
Will be the words I'll scream, at the top of my lungs.
Forever gone, dead as a doornail.
Whatever you call it
Beware your ex fairytale.

Copyright © Chelci Biggs | Year Posted 2018