Best Cripes Poems

Oh cripes I’ve gotta tell yer of a horror ride I had,
	That beat any bronc or bull I’ve rode, and I must say I’m glad,
	I’ll never have to ride like that, again to hold me seat.
	Now rodeo is ‘kiddies’ stuff compared to what I beat....

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Dad had threatened for some time, to reclaim the land behind the shed,
where rubbish over many years, had stockpiled but now instead
of being easy to be shifted, blackberries, docks and thistles grow,
entwining history of ours… and you know we didn’t know.

Mum cracked the whip one...

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I got a phone call from a mate of mine I hadn't seen for years,
and I could tell by his quivered voice that he was close to tears
so I asked Ken what is wrong then heard his voice that shook , 
“Oh cripes! I think...

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I was working up Loch Valley logging for a local mill;
camping in a make-shift hut I built half way up a struggling hill.
I worked till lunchtime every Friday, then came in from the scrub,
spending Friday afternoon drinking in the Noojee pub.

Jake Smith, he'd meet me...

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It's in a turtle soup shop where I'm employed
It's my duty to cook vomit-inducing soup turtle
which no decent human palate could stand;
a horrid job and a salary which is even worse,
an insult to my brilliant overdeveloped mind;
Not to mention the iniquitous schedule,
though there's something much...

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Fair dinkum mate I feel like a Tassie Tiger
And I’m not bullin’ you, and a real galah as well
How come this bloody sheila to such charms succumbs
I’m telling you me heart is racing and I feels like bloody hell
Might as well get stuck on the...

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We were making a tour across Europe
Stopped late down in Chalon-sur-Saône
Checked into the youth hostel after lights out
So I walked up the halls on my own.
My father spoke with the attendant
He was the one who spoke French,
I opened each door down the long corridor,
And closed...

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The Mozzies are biting, we forgot the Aeroguard
The ants, all the bickies are about to bombard
The twins are fightin’ and actin’ real mean
This family picnic, it’s a real bloody scene
The baby’s cryin’ ‘cause he bashed both ‘is knees
The flies in the marg, and the dogs...

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Samantha gave her Daddy a disdainful look
He’s been out again with that ripper old chook
He’s been acting all gaga, the silly old fool
Isn’t it disgusting the way that men drool
Well maybe the oldies, ain’t’ got that long
So he’s having a naughty and singing his song
Dating...

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I’m mourning over my old mate Bill; the old codger’s no longer alive.
Yes, the old ‘bugger’s given up smoking and stumps are at eighty-five.
No more gambling and joking or swearing; he finished his long drinking spree.
But he’s left us a little concerned; out here death...

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all the stuff going on that motel was heating up but the locksmith didn't speak
Irish too well & besides he got drunk & robbed the wrong merry-go-round anyway...
Sigh
Banal as it might seem, it's not how you think
but I bet my client would like
a virgin monkey's...

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Dad had threatened for some time to reclaim the land behind the shed,
where rubbish over many years, had stockpiled but now instead
of being easy to be shifted; blackberries, docks and thistles grow,
entwining history of ours - and you know we didn't know.

Mum cracked the whip...

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GOIN’ NOWHERE FAST

At any rate
the traffic…
…”God, get that finger out of there”
….”cripes, she wiped it on the seat”
stalled….
…..”She’s puttin’ on eye make-up”
…”she could put her eye out”
stopped…
…..”He’s watchin’ a freakin’ movie”
idled….
…..”The dog’s on his lap”
What!!...
…..”some woman’s drying her nail polish”
…………..”One finger at a time’
Yeah….
…………”Same to...

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Shiela ran off an im busted

Been there hard to bear, 
colour gone, now black n white, 
catch another horse ole mate, 
saddle up an treat her right :{

gotta get me money back,
prezzie-shiela up an gone,
nah not me wife
sodgy sorry and forlorn,
saddle up an treat her...

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Midst of night

Sorrows cripes
Sober shouts are unheard and loud
Coldness surrounding me
From all sides oh my loud why
In the midst of night I am all alone

Even the lonely night cries with me
Telling so much lies
Even moon is sad
Sad and sorrowfully
Cries all in the night
My dolls dull...

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