Best Corned Poems
Dripping doorsteps or bubble and squeak
I ate so much I couldn't speak
Apple pie and clotted cream
Used to make my taste buds scream.
Home made parkin or treacle toffee
Steaming mugs of dads camp coffee
Corned beef hash or dumplings and stew
Onion gravy with a Yorkshire pudding or two.
Roast beef sarnies covered with mustard
Sherry trifle with banana custard
Hot steak pie and mushy peas
Cauliflower and melted cheese .
Lemon curd tart or angel cake
The sausage rolls my mum would make
The massive helpings on my plate
Turned me into a heavy weight.
My mother thought it a wonderful sight
To see a child with a healthy appetite
After years of dieting I'm now much thinner
Though I must admit I want my dinner.
Categories:
corned, memory, mum,
Form:
Verse
Well bless me soul 'tis that time o' the year
To partake of corned beef, cabbage and beer
To meet at Flanagan's Pub
For socializin' and grub
Again to toast the Old Sod we hold dear!
Entry for Andrea Dietrich's "The Perfect Limerick" Contest
Categories:
corned, celebration,
Form:
Limerick
Don’t Get Me Irish Up
Me glasses were sitting a-top-a me head
the jam I was spreading was next to the bread
my knees were together but me spindly legs spread
I’m either half way in ---or out of the bed
I have to look down when brushing me teeth
and glue them in tight before chewing me meat
and as for the callous that grows wild on my feet
I find sanding them a sensual treat
Me fingers resemble cold, wintering trees
aging icicles hang from my elbows and knees
the slightest of movements puts a scent on the breeze
and to make matters worse I pee when I sneeze
Me back’s slightly bent, me forehead is wrinkled
when reading a menu, me eyes, yes – they’re crinkled
when I fall asleep they say “ the old boy’s Van Winkled”
and me stories they say are all “Blarney sprinkled”
Me slippers are worn, me legs freshly shorn
the skin of me cheeks soft as the day I was born
but when they break out the corned beef and stout
all of me parts start to dancing about
John G. Lawless
© 3/6/2017
Categories:
corned, humor, ireland, music,
Form:
Rhyme
Of january starting a new year
Of heart messages written on colored paper in february
and my birthday in april
of green cabbage and corned beef in march
Of hot dogs and hamburgers in may for memorial day
the beginning of summer in june
And fireworks in july
The summer coming to an end in august
Labor day gatherings before the kids start back to school in september
Spooks and goblins prancing through the street in october
A turkey feast in november
And everyone opening gifts in december.
July 27,2013. Humorous
Categories:
corned, holiday, labor day, ,
Form:
Free verse
Bumped into a friend
just yesterday
I was driving my car
and she got in the way
She said nothing was broken
the impact was minor
Mostly bruises and cuts
and a pretty good shiner
I took her to breakfast
and told her a joke
She was laughing so hard
she started to choke
I gave her the Heimlich
and then she was fine
While everyone cheered
we continued to dine
I finished my eggs
plus her corned beef hash
She picked up the check
since I don't carry cash
Then we took a ride
when I got a flat
She changed the tire
while watching, I sat
We went to the park
to her favorite thing
where she asked me to push
while she rode on the swing
But careless was she
as she went too high
and flew off the seat
up into the sky
And then she came down
right onto a bush
full of prickly thorns
straight into her tush
To the hospital entrance
I gave her a lift
and away from my car
she limped fairly swift
But before that she said
(if you'll pardon these rhymes)
"Whenever we meet
it's just like old times"
Mike Wise
10-21-19
Categories:
corned, funny, humorous, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
A dad he was to my man,
lost in a world of abuse.
Selling all he had in life,
to fund his addictions.
Digging flesh from bone,
stabbing bugs crawling wild.
Demons appear in torment,
beaconing him deeper.
A knife into the thigh,
sent him sickly out.
Hospital tests for all,
not knowing the truth.
Infections settle silently,
staff reared its ugly head.
Confined in solitary moments,
being alone and scared.
Stitches close the injury,
sickness embeds his soul.
Taunting images haunt him,
through every corned space.
Eyes cloud with blurred vision,
surgery required suddenly quick.
Sight saved from blindness,
doctors breathe with a sigh.
Something else has happened,
immune system has shut down.
Disease rested in his marrow,
the fight fire life has begun.
Myloid Dysplastics Disease,
fogs his body hard and cold.
Respirators knocking loudly,
asleep he has no choice.
A gasp of air was his final,
machines took over from there.
The last time we would see him,
full of any kind of life of his own.
Two weeks has gone by,
no change for the better.
Septic shock attacks kidneys,
we all seen him enter heaven.
It was a total all together,
from the time he stabbed his leg.
Four months from that day,
his end would be forever...
Categories:
corned, death, life, loss, life,
Form:
Free verse
Corned bread stuffed turkey
Party need to go home stuffed
Oh..., tummy’s to full
Eve Roper 11/27/2014
May you and yours have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving :) eve
Categories:
corned, family, friend, holiday,
Form:
Haiku
BALIKBAYAN
Six months away to travel
Home to a nostalgic place
Where, once more, I'd be able to capture
The free things:
Mountains, pristine rivers, rice fields, fresh air, etc
My relatives packing all sorts
Used clothing, spam, corned beef, Vienna sausage
Coffee, coffee mates, chocolates, candies
As if those items were not availabe
In any stores except United States.
My childhood I mirror
Daydreaming in the middle of the ricefield
Pulling strings of scarecrows
Washing clothes in the running river
Drying them under the sun.
My childhood brings me back
Climbing guava tree in the backyard
Riding a carabao was a delight
Watching a river gorge
Was a wonder and awe!
I have gone too far.
Now, I am a Balikbayan!
With big boxes in a row
Fascinating pasalubong to everyone
In return
Happy smiles I've got!
Meanings:
Balikbayan -----Overseas Filipino Workers
Pasalubong----a present or a gift
Carabao--------water buffalo
Categories:
corned, lifechildhood, childhood,
Form:
Narrative
This man in Brooklyn named Isadore,
some big sandwiches he would adore.
Corned beef and pastrami,
and kosher salami.
He can’t fit in his clothes anymore.
Who says a limerick has to be Irish?
Categories:
corned, funny
Form:
Limerick
Corned beef and cabbage is a favorite of mine.
This is a humble meal that tastes great.
To have it, I will gladly wait in line.
Boiled potatoes and carrots added are fine.
As I see it cooking, I can hardly wait.
Corned beef and cabbage is a favorite of mine.
Beer goes well with it, or possible light red wine.
I am too hungry to have dinner at eight.
To have it, I will gladly wait in line.
Most Irish people consider this dish divine.
Serve it right up to me on a plate.
Corned beef and cabbage is a favorite of mine.
Wherever it is served, please hold up a sign.
Dish it out and please don’t hesitate.
To have it, I will gladly wait in line.
While barley grows in the field, and grapes on the vine,
Irish people serve it in every county and state.
Corned beef and cabbage is a favorite of mine.
To have it, I will gladly wait in line.
For Julie-Michelle's Enter the Rhyme Battle Part 4 contest
Categories:
corned, food, ireland,
Form:
Villanelle
The Saints be preserved! Begorra! Today Saint Patrick reigns!
An excuse to get the Irish blood a-coursin' through yer veins!
A time for clans with even a tad of Irish in their genes,
To celebrate the holiday with the Wearin' O' The Greens!
O'Sullivans, O'Shaughnessys, O'Reillys and O'Neils,
Will be cavortin' and dancin' to snappy jigs and reels!
Anon, they'll savor corned beef, cabbage and Irish stew,
Toastin' the Auld Sod with hilarious hubbub and ado!
Happy harmonizers will sing "When Irish Eyes Are Smilin'",
Gazin' into the limpid eyes of Irish colleens so beguilin'!
Revelers will belt out "Biddy McGraw" and "McNamara's Band".
Goodwill and fellowship will prevail throughout the land!
Jaunty old-timers sport their shillelaghs in small-town parades.
Sprightly leprechauns and fairies leap about in masquerades.
Saint Patrick must look down upon his flock with some dismay.
What he hoped would be a holy day is now a rowdy holiday!
Hibernia, Eire, The Emerald Isle, Erin - call it what you may,
But ain't we thrilled that the Irish set aside this day?
At least once a year we can shed our usual dour mein,
And joyfully participate in the Wearin' O' The Green!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Categories:
corned, funny, holiday,
Form:
Rhyme
Behind the tinseled shamrocks you will see
There hides a profound history.
An island tale from the land so fair
So much deeper than a mug of green beer
Lilting words are charming, but burden is high,
And here’s a part of the why:
While sampling corned beef and cabbage
P’raps learn about the land Cromwell ravaged
Mighty Cu Chulainn, alas, an aeon late,
To spare fair Eireann this fate.
From waves of invaders the Celts did slay
Come the Red and Black Irish you see today
Through the religious apartheid,
Internecine hatred a mile wide.
And those who flew the great potato famine is why—
Got to read the signs: “Irish need not apply.”
So visit the Moors and castles, should you get a chance
Lift a glass, if you do, and learn the dance.
For despite the travails of this fair nation,
Some think we Irish saved civilization!
3/17/16
Categories:
corned, history, ireland, remember,
Form:
Couplet
Who’s been wearing my house slippers,
I wanna know
Somebody’s been steaming up
my bathroom shower window
I wanna know
who’s been sleeping in my bed
Leaving on my pillow,
golden strands of their nappy head
Who done ate the rest of
my leftover roast
Who done scarfed down the last of
the garlic buttered toast
Somebody been creeping
in and out my door
Somebody been spitting
cherry pits all over my floor
The only clue I got
is those curly, golden hair threads
They better hope
I don’t get a hold of them nappy dreads
Who’s been wearing my favorite robe,
left it in the shed out back
Somebody’s been sending out calls,
ordering movies I don’t like
I wanna know
who’s been laying down in my bed
Leaving on my pillow,
golden follicles of their nappy head
Somebody done ate the other half
of my corned beef sandwich
Somebody done gobbled up all my
homemade turkey casserole dish
Somebody been sneaking,
coming through my backdoor
Somebody been rummaging,
throwing my things all over the floor
I know you been
lurking around here like a fox
I know you been
inside my house, Goldie dreadlocks
And one day soon,
your luck is bound to run out
When them goldie locks get snagged
and cuffed, you’re surely gonna shout:
I had a bad hair day!
Words said with a petulant, fairy tale pout
Categories:
corned, fantasy, hair, humorous, satire,
Form:
Light Verse
Section Ocho
Sylvia loved her 2 bedroom apartment.
She finally found a decent place
Well besides the rodents
And the 4 flights she treks
That dim hallway
Smelling of mold
And tattered souls
Knock, Knock, Knock
She opens the steel door
Resembling a solitary prison cell entryway
INSPECTION TIME
4 men dressed in the finest business attire from kmart
They look at her like a charity case
Exchanging smirks and snarky comments
She is beneath them
Like the soles on their $40 faux leather shoes
She worked in sewing factories her whole life
Until her hands were no longer functional
She worked hard for her $700 ssd check
The men smirk again when they see her ebt card on the kitchen table
Their tax dollars pay for her extravagent lyfestyle
That 2 bedroom apartment on the 4th floor
Collecting bottles to feed herself at the end of the month
She hasnt had a decent cut of meat in years
Chicken legs and corned beef
White rice and spam
But those are their tax dollars being wasted
One man utters:
"We know hes been staying here"
"Que" she replies
"Your thug grandson with the felonies"
Shouts another
"Hes only been here for a week"
He was sleeping at the city mission
She was fullfilling her grandma duties
Family is everything to her
"But rules are rules Ms. Vasquez"
If hes not gone in 2 days she has to move
But move where?
She waited 37 months to get this apartment
Confused she begs the men to let him stay
"48 hours Ms Vasquez" The portly inspector yells as the steel door slams behind the men
Sylvia has a decision to make
How she longs for paradise and gets hell in return
A single tear rolls down her sharp cheeks
"Juan stop hiding they left already"
He can see the pain in her eyes
" Dont cry Abuela, ill be just fine,
Ill pack my stuff and be out in time"
Categories:
corned, age, city, dream, environment,
Form:
Free verse
His Fridge
Sometimes I’m afraid to open the door!
.
Half a lemon..dried up and sad.
A carton of noodles that smell pretty bad.
Some sour cream gone shockingly green.
A tomato with quite an unhealthy sheen.
Some carrots that seem to be growing hair.
Last year’s fruitcake a friend brought to share.
Two slices of pizza from last weeks big bash.
I think that plate must be Gram’s corned beef hash.
Way in the back theres a jar with one pickle.
I’d think about eating it if I wasn’t so fickle.
Six bottles of soy sauce and one salad dressing.
If he doesn’t get sick its one of God’s blessings.
Go get your coat, we’re eating out.
Categories:
corned, funny
Form:
List