Best Consulted Poems
Sam Ebenezer
a sad ol' geezer
was lamenting his shrinkage of late:
my worthless ding-a-ling
is a bell without ring
my manhood in diminishing state
From whence I salute
is thin as a flute
and soft to the touch as cashmere
I search with persistence
it offers resistance
on nature's call to appear
On heeding that call
no waterfall
a few errant droplets at best
where once from the middle
I gushed, now I piddle
and half of my load veers west
Both feet on the urn
pushing forth from astern
I chant 'emerge hocus-pocus'
with my punctured esteem
watch the pitiful stream
dwindle to drops as Limp loses focus
Our wee-membered friend
wished his size to amend
the stiffness rerouted from his joints
have it rise to occasion
and stand to attention
consulted ol' Doc for his viewpoint:
My snake is dead
no flesh; just head
lies comatose and useless
my garden hose
once warmed my toes
now wrinkled, dry and juiceless
The senile old doctor
by name Alfred Proctor
had most of his wit in absentia
his breath smelt cheesy
Ebenezer felt queasy
Doc clearly suffered from senile dementia
Doc's hand took a dip
to just 'neath his ribs
as Ebenezer voiced his concern
Doc smiled all the while
said: your hopes are futile
there's no cure for your vanishing organ
I lost my virility
before my senility
long mourned my lost pride-and-joy
put my plight to rest
on realizing I'm blessed
to have in hand my own built-in toy
**************************************
Categories:
consulted, funny, lost, lost,
Form:
Rhyme
“I never travel without my diary,
One should have something sensational to read”
5-4-11: I never knew about the above quote of Wilde
But an event in life taught me to keep one.
4-23-94: Let me start with the initial jotting
A local doctor said it’s just cough, a thing seasonal
5-5-94: No cure, consulted again after two weeks
Advised to consult an ENT specialist attached to
A Medical College Hospital.
5-8-94: Diagnosed cancer of the vocal chords
5-10-94: But preferred to have a second opinion
Confirmed the first opinion and advised radiation.
The word spread in the University Campus town
In the Bohemians circle that a Wicket (Cricket) down
Heard from many mouths the fate of the tobacco chewer.
5-15-94: A friend of my son came to see me on hearing the news
He had the disease of the same type and category 10 years back
He took the radiation and there he was a positive case.
7-4-94: Started the radiation therapy of six weeks
Resigning 4 months earlier than the regular retirement.
Along with the radiation started the nature cure therapy
And the greatest of all therapies, the rosary with HIS name.
8-12-94 the radiation machine, only one in my State went off
Consulted the Cancer Hospital at Mumbai
Got the reply appointment after six months.
8-22-94: Luckily the treatment restarted after 10 days
9-2-94: And completed the radiation course.
12-5-94: Retested and was declared cancer free.
Thus the history of trials, tribulations, tests and tobacco taste.
5-4-11: The habit is still with me even to-day.
Oh, the digit 5 could be a lucky number for me.
******************
*The dates and events taken from my diary are real*. I have written
two poems on the event
1. What Gods there were
2. Butterfly Counts not months but moments.
Thanks, Constance, for sensational refreshing of my memories.
Dr. Ram Mehta
==============================================
Second place win in :
Contest: The Diary sponsored by Constance La France-A Rambling poet
Categories:
consulted, cancer, me,
Form:
Free verse
"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone", said The Master. Her accusers walked away, leaving the offender alone with The Master. Like our own, the sins of David are more than meets the eye, and I suspect if walls could talk, all the universe would cry. But God has been known to highlight certain sins for the record of man. We are then left without excuse, and all the world can clearly understand. David's sin of adultery with Bathsheba reveals the problem of LUST, and adultery follows lust like hunger pains before a forbidden meal. David's sin of murder against Uriah reveals the problem of FEAR, and fear is often the antecedent and driving force of murder.
David's sin of numbering his people reveals the problem of PRIDE. The sin was not about the census, but the 'Big I' and the 'Big Me' inside. And pride is one of the seven deadly sins and most destructible. Attitudes of 'Look at me and my accomplishments' are never acceptable. Such pride is one sin inherited by Adam's seed which includes all of us. Moreover, a humility that says, "Look at what the Lord is doing", is a must. David's sin of moving the Ark of the Covenant reveals the problem IGNORANCE. In all endeavors of life, without regards to motive, God is to be consulted before acting.
030520PoSp Inspired by James 1:14
030520PoSp Inspired by James 1:14
Categories:
consulted, sin,
Form:
Verse
I consulted a tyromancer
To see if I could find an answer
She consulted some cheese
And told me so much sleaze
I’m convinced she’s just a fat chancer!
Written after I read an article in the dentist’s waiting room today and I discovered that Tyromancy is form of divination involving observation of cheese, especially as it coagulates
09-19-17
Categories:
consulted, crazy, food, humorous, words,
Form:
Limerick
SPRING GARDEN PREPARATION (20150213)
After the winter season
But before the rains begin
Catalogues of heirloom seeds
Delivered just in time
Earmarked and prioritized
Farmer’s Almanac consulted
Given planting periods
Horoscopes included (but useless!)
Individual seed varieties ordered
Junk mail shredded and added to compost
K (potassium) added as potash
Lumber purchased for trellises
Mulching around transplanted seedlings
Non-Genetically Modified Organisms only
Organic fertilizers only, too
Planting by phases of the moon
Quick-fix pesticides are anathema
(Round-Up kills everything--US, not just weeds)
Seed boxes keeping seedlings warm
Testing the soil for minerals and organics
Unleashing ladybugs and pollinators
Vertical gardening to conserve space
Watering just enough, but not too much
Xenocide, killing unwanted weed species
Youngsters helping (or hindering)
Zoning plants to vary root depths
Categories:
consulted, food, garden, home, life,
Form:
Abecedarian
An elderly man I knew ,
( who had no issue)
about fifty years ago
was well known among the local
and neighbouring residents
for his knowledge of the native pantheon,
evil spirits, and ghosts .
Often he conducted rituals
to ward off the ghosts and evil spirits
from the homes and
individuals possessed by them
and to cure people of the illnesses
primarily attributed to sacrilege.
One day, his wife fell ill;
yet, he did not call doctors,
but performed traditional rituals,,
sought guidance from the deities
in his somber dreams.
Of no avail ,
she died after prolonged illness.
But he did not grieve for long.
"What can we the humans do
if God already destined her fate ? “
he asked.
The old man lived a long life,
cared for by a close relative.
He never consulted a doctor
nor took pharmaceutical drugs,
as he did not have faith
in their medical efficacy or sanctity.
(The poem dramatised under the title FAITH, PAIN( Latter rechristened as Thajabagi Cheina) by People's Arts and Dramatic Association ,and directed by Laishram Randhoni Devi was the Second Best play in the Creative Directors' Short Play Competition 2022 organised by THEATER CENTER under the aegis of SANGEET NATAK ACADEMY,NEW DELHI.In all the play won seven different awards.Among the notable awards are Best,Director,Best Actor,Best Actress and Best Script etc.)
Categories:
consulted, extended metaphor, father daughter,
Form:
Free verse
There was a Red Indian Chief
his name was Raging Waters
he lived a pleasant life
surrounded by his four wives
They took care of all his needs
gave him strong sons and daughters
he ruled mainly in peace not war
apart from raids on the Black Hawks
It was one of his joys to sneak up
and steal their very fine horses
and to capture some of their squaws
these he could trade for guns and whiskey
As time went on he grew very troubled
he consulted with the medicine man
who sent him to the hot bath teepee
there smoking his pipe he relaxed
Soon the visions started to appear
war was on the horizon he could see
also a squaw so comely he lost his heart
he left the teepee and sent out scouts
They scoured the lands searching for her
at last one came back with the news
she belonged to the Crows and was promised
gathering up a raiding party, he set off
At dead of night they sneaked into position
then rushed the camp catching the Crows off guard
they killed the warriors and took the squaws,
children and horses too and well tanned hides
Now there had to be a comeback from this deed
Mighty Hawk gathered his tribes of Crows
and set off for Raging Waters camp for revenge
barely escaping he fled for the mountains
There with just a handful of warriors and squaws
he set out to build up the tribe once more
when at last they had enough warriors
he set out to recapture that beautiful squaw
Never had he forgotten her soft lips on his
driven wild by his desire, he lost all caution
warned by his medicine man it would end badly
he paid no heed and set out to make war
The Crows soon heard he was on his way
and set a terrible trap in between the hills
Raging Waters and his warriors were cut down
the unlucky ones were scalped then given to the squaws
Who beat them and treated them harshly as slaves
thus a lesson was learned do not take promised squaws
Raging Waters name was in time lost in the annuals
his tribe no more, just forgotten ghosts in time
inspired by soup mail chat with Sandra
Categories:
consulted, native american,
Form:
Epic
She was Joan of Arc, the very essence of bravery
who, from humble beginnings. made a place in history.
And, inspired by God, with strong and grand visions
was convinced of her calling, and went on her mission.
Joan left her small village, and went to assist
Charles VII, to help save France from England's grip.
So captivating was her zeal and charisma
that Joan soon was consulted for military wisdom.
She was sought to help lead the armies of France
with the battle of Orleans, there would be a chance
of success, thus achieved, in as little as nine days
which brought new hope, they gave Joan great praise.
Brave young Joan did not mind to travel to war
carrying banner, sword, and wore clothes that men wore.
The strength Joan displayed during battle and after
increased French morale, until she was captured.
The year, 1430, was spent in prison to await
a trial of heresy, where Joan attempted to escape.
But, alas, unsuccessful, to trial she did go
and was falsely accused, France did suffer a blow.
When, in 1431, like a martyr, Joan was burned at the stake
She did it for God and for country, her spirit did not break.
As the years passed, Joan of Arc was well honored
as the patron of France, and for sainthood, rewarded.
Joan of Arc's virtues, her honesty and simplicity
were remembered and revered throughout history.
From humble beginnings, and with God by her side
Joan of Arc left a legacy that can never be denied.
Written on 8/27/2015
Categories:
consulted, hero, history, war,
Form:
Rhyme
With two months left to go, in the year of 2012, I must not be too complacent.
However the first ten months have brought much joy and few sorrows.
The most exciting events have been the four weddings of young relatives.
My youngest grandson's wedding came first and I was not invited.
He and his intended flew off to Hawaii for the wedding, with their attendants.
The rest of us had to be satisfied with an invitation to their reception after they returned home. My wedding gift to my grandson and his bride was a professionally framed and sealed and museum glassed copy of my double poem, "The Bride's Prayer and The Bridegroom's Prayer". in hopes that it would last as long as I deeply wanted their marriage to last.
The other three weddings were the results of many months of planning and I received a formal invitation to each one. In late August my great-grandniece married her fiance in a military wedding. The reception was held in the Officers Club and was planned to the last detail. In September my own great-granddaughter held her wedding in my
yard and the weather cooperated beautifully. It was small, around fifty guests. Rented decorated tables held a feast worthy of a more opulent wedding. The groom was as handsome and the bride as beautiful as those in the wedding magazines they had consulted in order to avoid the high expense of a wedding planner.
The last wedding was held the last Saturday in October and the bridegroom was my favorite great-grandnephew. His beautiful bride was dressed in a lovely formal gown, under which she wore...cowgirl boots. Her eight attendants wore flirty. short, black dresses and...cowgirl boots. Western music was played and a catered meal of Western food was served to the two hundred guests. No expense was spared for this wedding. It was held at a remodeled cattle barn which has been turned into a beautiful social hall and rented out for just such occasions. The minister said it was the twenty-fifth wedding ceremony held in that building at which he had officiated.
These were all joyous affairs and my prayer is that all parties will all be able to observe their 75th anniversaries and are still as happy as on these, their wedding days.
Categories:
consulted, wedding, wedding, beautiful, prayer,
Form:
Free verse
Our awards night, my corporate boss thought this up
with fine dining, much cash and chairman's gilded cup;
as awardee, they shacked me up in a five-star
in Hongkong where I felt I was some superstar.
After a warm bath, I consulted the mirror,
checked my body for any overlooked error;
inhaled, puffed my chest up, flattened that beer belly,
flexed my biceps, almost convinced I was Bruce Lee.
I even thought it should not have been Pitt but me
as the champion Achilles in Troy, the movie;
for there stood I, a demigod of mythology,
proudly prancing, preening in self-love's apogee.
A thump on the massive door smashed my reverie;
with a towel round my waist, I peeped out to see;
finding no one, I stepped out to catch the prankster;
must be the aircon wind for not a soul was there.
But then, the door slammed deafeningly behind me,
locking me out in the bright hallway with no cardkey;
from nowhere, young lady guests elegantly dressed
with smooth tuxedoed escorts, strolled straight towards me.
I panicked and froze in indescribable shame
though they didn't and wouldn't even know my name;
so there stood I, a semi-nude dude from the sauna
nervously blinking like a startled iguana!
Categories:
consulted, funnyme,
Form:
Rhyme
I look you up and look you over,
better days have left you far behind,
you're older, but to me you're still appealing,
yet you draw comments that are less than kind.
You're neglected, not consulted,
when an answer is required,
hidden now behind the others,
avoided, disregarded, mired.
I massage your spine with oil and friction,
restoring your luster to cherish and keep,
remembering when you were readily handled,
sought after, popular, top of the heap.
I'm so busy these days with my key restorations,
I scarcely have time, and I don't have a say,
so you'll have to hold on for my deft ministrations,
a labor of love, postponed for a better day.
Categories:
consulted, write,
Form:
Verse
There they rested on rusting rails so regal yet so stark.
An old steam engine and its caboose now sit silent in the park.
Since I was on a casual stroll and had some time to squander,
I sat upon a beckoning bench, its yesteryears to ponder.
In my mind's eye I saw this Goliath racing down the rails,
Spewing billowing smoke and hearing its melancholy wails.
The engineer consulted his watch, anxious to meet his goals.
With elbows and cinders flying, the fireman stoked the coals!
I reckoned it towed freight cars as part of its ponderous load,
And of course free-spirited hoboes, those vagabonds of the road.
I'm sure its odyssey crossed desert sands and verdant prairies,
And coursed thro' mountain cols as high as eagles' aeries.
I envisioned sleek Pullman cars it pulled with happy folk aboard,
Enjoying the grandeur of this nation as down the track it roared!
Did it witness sad goodbyes as it carried soldiers off to strife?
Alas, did it carry a hero's coffin who had sacrificed his life?
What a thrill watching a steam engine thundering down the line.
I'll return again to reminisce before this venerable shrine.
Startled by a diesel train and its raucous klaxon across the way,
I wakened from my reverie and slowly walked away.
Categories:
consulted, nostalgia,
Form:
Rhyme
Tortoise husband of salamander,
Childless couple for sorrowful years,
Their quest for child was beyond placation;
What is matrimony without fertility?
Child is gold,child is the crown on our heads,
Child is the retain wall that holds us to life.
So tortoise consulted goddess of fertility
Her divinity prescribed goddess soup for her:
Fresh tomato,fresh paprika,olive oil,curry ;
Chicken,cow liver ,young lamb flesh ,
Tomorrow tortoise must collect the soup.
The tortoise,the soup and the priest:
Take the soup to salamander for fruition,
Behold thou must not taste of it;
He collected the soup and headed home,
On his way home the soup was scenting,
His gluttony at last consumed his will.
In a blink of eye,his stomach swelled up,
The pain of edema hit him everywhere,
His eyes became red like cherry fruit;
What could I do? Regret took its place,
Restlessly tortoise returned to shrine.
At shrine he pleaded with goddess:
Ho priest I have come to beg,selah;
The soup you cooked for her,selah ;
You said I should not eat from it,selah;
The thicket on my path fell me down,selah;
My hand touched the ground and touched my mouth;
I looked at my stomach,it had become balloo;
Oh priest I have come to beg,selah.
Like thunder a voice spoke to him:
Words of goddess like arrow had left the bow,
Remember the pillar of salt in the days of Lot,
The wage of disobedience forever stands.
Categories:
consulted, children,
Form:
Verse
Once,
About ten minutes ago in the year
2006 or
2549, depending upon which avatar or
Messiah is consulted, I
Tumbled out of my bed to the
Untranslatable
Predawn
Cackle of
Frantic voices
Descending.
So, with urgency
Rarely experienced since the
Evacuation of my spirit
From the Land of
Possession Addiction, I was called to summon previously
Unknown prowess
Chancing traffic choked streets
Of Nakhorn (used to mean “New City” 700 years ago but not sure now)
Chiang Mai.
So there I was
Aboard my mostly pint-sized for a European descendent Kawasaki 112,
Red-blooded American head
Protruding
turret-like out of an
Undersized helmet that,
If nothing else,
Officially pronounced me foreign
Blazing a jutted path around
Decrepit trishaws,
Ubiquitously red baht busses and,
Not the least, a motorcycle with a sidecar bandaged to its
Aching side just in time to witness a
Spit-shined just out of the wrapper BMW
Brusque aside a
Sardine packed dump truck
Loaded,
Not with dirt, but five dollar a day
Laborers.
All this and more
Just moments before
Mounting the silted Ping and
Stampeding city gates, I glimpsed
Censored Snippets of TV reports blurting something unintelligible like
“Bangkok coup”,
“Corruption”,
“A King”
And
Somewhere,
Quite uncensored, of a not so pleased
Laozi,
Lotus splayed in
Meditation
Kneading the Eastern soil one
Daoist grain at a time,
Before ancient city walls
Rose up,
Monolithic in my path.
And then the recall that
Centuries before,
Burmese raiders
Resplendent in warrior garb
Plundered the palace and soul
Of the kingdom Thai before stealthily
Creeping back to their lairs,
Buddha-fat with riches.
That leaves the Siamese of 1935
And me, to wonder
Where is freedom
When we travel so far
Pell mell and
Peril, only to discover
In a fleeting brief moment the road to
Iniquity marked, rather
Erroneously, with the signpost to
Promises?
Categories:
consulted, political,
Form:
Free verse
Apple Tree
I do not know why, but for the longest time, it has been assumed that I was in the Garden of Eden. I’ve been seen in gardens, orchards, and the yards of many people, but there is no proof that I was ever in Eden. But let’s just assume that I was indeed the tree realistically known as the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
For heaven’s sake, let’s just assume that I was an innocent bystander, absorbing nutrients from the garden and producing juicy apples. Yes, I was climbed upon by the devil, picked from by the woman, and eaten from by both Adam and Eve. And can anyone imagine how disrespected I felt and taken for granted? Remember, neither the devil nor Eve consulted me about apples from me.
I grew and produced the apple that caused God to be displeased, and forced him to drive them from the garden. Moreover, at least two bites of an apple from my limbs changed the course of history for both nature and all of mankind. I must say that I am not proud of any of this. But you must remember, there was plenty of blame to go around, but when the punishment was handed down, I was not included.
And remember, I have the knowledge and remember very well, because I was there and witnessed literally everything. I even heard the devil lying to Eve, and if I could talk, I would have rebuked the devil, and advised Eve to slowly walk away. I didn’t know where Adam was, but the least I could have done was to call out to him saying, “Beware the devil on my limb!”.
I tell you, I was so sad when I heard God’s voice telling Adam and Eve about their future lives, their limitations and restrictions. Adam was to work hard enough to sweat; and Eve would always have pain when she would give birth to their children.
It was painful for me to listen to, and enough to make even a tough apple tree like myself break down and weep. But the best part was when I heard God tell the devil about his punishment. That’s when I began to rejoice. Wow! I could not shake a leg, but I shook every limb and all the bark on my body.
08262015 Curtis Johnson; Contest, Trashed #4, Sponsor, Broken Wings
Categories:
consulted, christian, creation, desire, faith,
Form:
Personification