Get Your Premium Membership

The Vanishing Organ

Sam Ebenezer
a sad ol' geezer
was lamenting his shrinkage of late:
my worthless ding-a-ling
is a bell without ring
my manhood in diminishing state
 
From whence I salute
is thin as a flute
and soft to the touch as cashmere
I search with persistence
it offers resistance
on nature's call to appear
 
On heeding that call
no waterfall
a few errant droplets at best
where once from the middle
I gushed, now I piddle
and half of my load veers west
 
Both feet on the urn
pushing forth from astern
I chant 'emerge hocus-pocus'
with my punctured esteem
watch the pitiful stream
dwindle to drops as Limp loses focus
 
Our wee-membered friend
wished his size to amend
the stiffness rerouted from his joints
have it rise to occasion
and stand to attention
consulted ol' Doc for his viewpoint:

My snake is dead
no flesh;  just head
lies comatose and useless 
my garden hose
once warmed my toes
now wrinkled, dry and juiceless 

The senile old doctor
by name Alfred Proctor
had most of his wit in absentia
his breath smelt cheesy
Ebenezer felt queasy
Doc clearly suffered from senile dementia
 
Doc's hand took a dip
to just 'neath his ribs 
as Ebenezer voiced his concern
Doc smiled all the while
said:  your hopes are futile
there's no cure for your vanishing organ
 
I lost my virility
before my senility
long mourned my lost pride-and-joy
put my plight to rest
on realizing I'm blessed
to have in hand my own built-in toy

**************************************

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 11/20/2013 5:01:00 PM
OH This is an absolute HOOTY ROOT TOOT TOOTY! You're SOOOOOOO bad, you're GOOD! You is my kinda gal Miss Licia! Lots of dirty love, Jackles XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Login to Reply
Date: 9/25/2013 9:19:00 PM
I laughed out loud! It is funny, for this man anyway. Congratulations! Jack
Login to Reply
Date: 9/22/2013 7:37:00 PM
Hello sweet Delysia, :) Congratulations on your fine win in Nancy's contest.. take care *LINDA
Login to Reply
Date: 9/21/2013 3:37:00 PM
Funny if you are not a man. Clever if you are a woman. An ego lost in lack luster mode. All due to a lapse in a penal code. Memories come, memories go. lost to a woman's vanity. Allan
Login to Reply
Date: 9/19/2013 9:37:00 PM
How clever to write from a man's perspective and hilarious to boot. Congratulation you really made me laugh
Login to Reply
Date: 9/19/2013 8:38:00 PM
Congrats on your win. Morgan cool. . . lols
Login to Reply
Date: 9/19/2013 8:17:00 AM
what a witty poem you have crafted, congrats on your win :)
Login to Reply
Date: 9/19/2013 7:38:00 AM
Delysia so funny congrats on place Shadow x smile
Login to Reply
Date: 9/18/2013 10:23:00 PM
wow, you have fantastic humor. this is the funniest one yet. Congrats for your win.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/18/2013 9:52:00 PM
Totally funny and wonderful form! Thanks so much for supporting my contest! Namaste ~ N
Login to Reply
Date: 8/2/2013 3:58:00 PM
I'm going West... no... North... To Alaska Anywhere to escape this...
Login to Reply
Date: 7/23/2013 7:03:00 PM
OH-MY-GOD-GIRL!...I could not get thru this until the third try...The vendor scene from the Marx Brother's 'Duck Soup' has the same effect...I actually have to get up and walk away to catch my breath...My two were 'When a Man Loves a Woman: A Male Black Widow's Perspective' and 'Senior Moments' if you'd like to check them out...
Login to Reply
Ryerson Avatar
Tim Ryerson
Date: 7/23/2013 7:07:00 PM
PS: On rare occasions, my ding-a-ling refuses to ring-a-ding-ding so I am forced to make an appointment with Dr. Viagra...
Date: 5/30/2013 8:41:00 AM
Now this is what I call entertainment. Thanks for making me smile. It appears you did well against some STIFF competition. Congratulations!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/16/2013 11:30:00 PM
I could have sworn I've commented on this one before *shrugs*... as I'm usual I'm quite speechless. You describe it all too perfectly... it makes me wonder what you're thinking about a great deal of the time (looks around suspiciously... lol). Witty to the extreme... but definitely not something for kiddies to read... You're just too much Delysia!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/16/2013 11:30:00 PM
I could have sworn I've commented on this one before *shrugs*... as I'm usual I'm quite speechless. You describe it all too perfectly... it makes me wonder what you're thinking about a great deal of the time (looks around suspiciously... lol). Witty to the extreme... but definitely not something for kiddies to read... You're just too much Delysia!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/10/2013 1:04:00 PM
Congrats on your win.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/10/2013 8:33:00 AM
Congrats on the win with this hilarious and nicely worded write, lol!!
Login to Reply
Date: 5/9/2013 11:03:00 PM
Delysia., thank you for impressing me with your awesome poem. Congrats ~SKAT~
Login to Reply
Date: 3/20/2013 6:32:00 PM
Congrats, Delysia. Well done. Nice going. hugs, Ralph
Login to Reply
Date: 3/18/2013 6:37:00 PM
Delysia, thanks for the chuckle and awesome poem.. always~ LINDA
Login to Reply
Date: 3/18/2013 6:18:00 PM
Delysia, this is my favorite! Pretty sure all the guys will get a kick out of it!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/18/2013 5:54:00 PM
Delysia, this is oh soooo right, as a nurse, I hear the men bemoan this fact. well done....Seren
Login to Reply
Date: 3/10/2013 10:27:00 AM
That's....quite a write! ;) How did you find the words to describe everything so....well? I must say....I'm impressed with your creative ability!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/9/2013 5:14:00 PM
A glimpse of the future for us fellers? How can you possibly find anything funny in this? Women! Okay, I suppose it is quite amusing as long as it'shappening to someone else. Very clever. - Red
Login to Reply
Date: 8/26/2012 11:55:00 PM
My husband just wanted to know what I was laughing about. This is so well written. I really look forward to reading more of your work. Great poem. Lee
Login to Reply
12

Book: Reflection on the Important Things