Best Conning Poems
Nette’s mask
This fellow wore the mask of Zorro,
Like his hero this swords man, he creeps,
The women fancied our Zorro,
new masked one, conning ladies, heaps.
Zorro , he stole of their kisses,
When he passed through their darkened rooms,
His double masked one, got some kisses,
By following the flash Z man soon.
Senorita said, "Zorro be gentle,”
“Like you did in the heat of the night”
Zorro he thought “is she distraught!”
“I have not had this sweetest delight”
14-july-11
Don Johnson
IT'S MASK TIME! Enter Contest
Sponsored by: nette onclaud
Categories:
conning, adventure
Form:
Rhyme
Feeling blue, caught the flu, head like glue, what to do.
Feel the chill, feel quite ill, take a pill
Bed is best, have a rest, what a pest
Miss the game, what a shame.
Can’t watch telly, aching belly, feet are smelly, ate some jelly
Made me worse, what a curse, throat like furze.
Drank some coke, what a joke, made me choke
Feel so weak, can hardly speak.
Think I’m dying, feel like crying, friends are sighing. WIFE”S not buying
“Stop the moaning, give up groaning, no more conning,
Just be glad, you’re not as bad, as poor old Brad,
He’s got piles." Hides her smiles
Counted sheep, fell asleep, in a heap, nice and deep.
Woke up fine, after nine, drank some wine,
What a day, I have to say, come what may,
I’m still alive, I’ll survive.
Tracie's Contest : Make me laugh- make me giggle Sept 2011
this is an old one but rules say that's okay
Furze- Gorse -a thorny plant
Categories:
conning, funnyme, old, me, old,
Form:
Rhyme
Don't you worry bout my soul
Til you've been down all my lonely roads
And gauged the weight of my full load
Don't you worry bout my soul
.
I see you on the tv conning, talking squawking walking like you really care about me and my kind
You cry your tears like a crocodile empty eyes phony smile,
To me I plainly see you're clearly blind
So don't you worry bout my kind . . .
I see everything just fine
You're busy yelling and a tellin me all the things you think you can see, going on in this ol world you think ain't right
Get the beam on out of your own eye, til you've listened to the children cry, hungry and tormented in the night
Don't you worry bout my eyes . . .
I'm seeing everything just fine
.
Don't you worry bout my ears
Cause you've been deaf for many years
I don't need some deaf man tellin me what I should hear or how to be, when he is only playing on my fears
So don't you worry bout my ears . . .
I hear your deafness loud and clear
.
Don't you worry bout my mind
Though it gets misplaced from time to time
But I think I know what courage means, how heartache feels, when freedom rings
And I know that I am running out of time
So don't you worry bout my mind . . .
I think I'll get along just fine
.
Don't you worry bout my soul
Cause I met the Master long ago
And the one you portray Him to be
Is not the same One known to me
The One Who made me free so long ago
So don't you worry bout my soul.
.
Mathew 15:14
Categories:
conning, anger, bible, christian, conflict,
Form:
Lyric
I forgive you my dear country
And her ignoramuses
To my televangelists who prophesy
earthquakes
And hellfire
Instead of love and forgiveness
So they steal from the poor
To buy miracles from God;
To my shopkeeper who doubles the
price
Of flour at will
Even before Kidero completes his
speech
On taxes
I forgive you all.
I forgive you, brother
For refusing my handshake
Because I'm well-off than you
As if being rich is a crime.
I forgive you Mr Bossman
For turning down my job application
Though my only un-qualification
Was I failed to belong to your clan.
I forgive you my uncle back home
For perpetually grabbing my farm
Because I'm always in town
Getting a life for myself
When your sons are the chief's
drones
Who grab chickens from helpless
widows
And lynch witches in the village.
I forgive you too my ambitious
cousins
For conning me when you promised
To get me a job in your company
Immediately I'm through with
college.
I forgive you Mr. Policeman
For innocent incarceration
Torture
And hefty fines
Though you know I was innocent.
I forgive you Wamboi
For eating my money
Then running away with my children
And half of my wealth.
To my White brothers who think we
still live in the bush with antelopes
And harass us at their embassies
And airports
I forgive you too.
Before you clone another virus to
kill my people
I forgive you.
To all vagrants who rape our women
And slash the throats of fellow
Kenyans for money
I forgive you all.
To my bright law-makers in
parliament
I forgive you for your lies
I know I will see you again in 2017
In brand new bank notes
And brand new promises
And I will still forgive you.
To my colleagues fighting for
recognition
And job promotions
And wishing me jobless
I forgive you too
Your're just victims of greed
And selfishness.
To my heads of state
Sparking wars at will
Puppets of neo-colonialism
I forgive you too.
It's not in my position to judge
Or condemn you
History will do that.
Lastly
I forgive myself
For being too human
And trusting too much.
Categories:
conning, forgiveness
Form:
Blank verse
Many years ago I read a book entitled “Accidental Empires"
Of how a few men, from garden sheds, became multi billionaires
How could this be, what did they do, did they invent something new
Not really but if I say Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Apple Mac or Microsoft to you
Microsoft is a huge corporation but Bill Gates openly admitted he was a fraudster and a thief
Because the underhand, double dealing, industrial espionage etc went beyond belief
Microsoft invented the computer or so lots, if not millions of people believe
Making Bill Gates just like the US government and its UFO are real promotion, another trick up the sleeve
As long as you think Microsoft is the god, its Bill Gates win and your loss, on reflection
UFO attention takes peoples minds away from secret weapon, Black Projection
Dirty double dealings from both corporate and state but hang fire, hold on, wait
You have a choice that costs nothing, downloadable, its called Linux, mate
Operating systems built by the people for the people, especially those oppressed
Third world countries, low budgeteers, the Microsoftic angry crowd and the rest
I spent good money on Windows XP, now the support updates have gone
Just another buy some more another Microsoft-con
Well thats no good to me, now I have to spend fortunes on Windows 8 or 7
Thank god for Linux, Debian, GNU, hundreds of free operating systems, heaven
Bit like Henry Ford saying he invented the autocar, piss in the wind, far fetched, another steal
It was bits and bobs,trial and error the stoneage had the wheel
Can’t ride to work on a wheel, need an engine, tyres my mates a chassis and components, maybe out of state plates
How many new operating systems will it take to make a man mega rich beyond your dreams
As many as Microsoft knock out by conning the public, or so to me it seems
Bob Dylan once says, you can fool some of the people most of the time, you can fool most of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time
So get yourself some free software mine is Linux Lime
Categories:
conning, business,
Form:
Rhyme
Repent, repent the clock has struck one
The Lord will return you haven't got long.
Repent, repent the clock has struck two
We all have sinned that includes me and you.
Repent, repent the clock has struck three
Return back to God and be set free.
Repent, repent the clock has struck four
The world keeps on sinning more and more.
Repent, repent the clock has struck five
Why die in your sin when God offers life.
Repent, repent the clock has struck six
The devil still conning the world with his tricks.
Repent, repent the clock has struck seven
There's only one way to get into Heaven.
Repent, repent the clock has struck eight
Turn back to God before its too late.
Repent, repent the clock has struck nine
The Lord will return you haven't much time.
Repent, repent the clock has struck ten
Take note of this warning I write with my pen.
Repent, repent the clock has struck eleven
Remember there's only one way into Heaven.
Repent, repent God's judgement will come
When the clock strikes twelve there will be no place to run.
Quote from NIV Bible
2 Peter ch 3 v 8-10
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends with the Lord a day is like a thousand
years, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise,
as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish,
but everyone to come to repentence. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The
heavens will disappear with a roar, the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth
and everything in it will be laid bare.
Categories:
conning, day, faith, forgiveness, god,
Form:
Rhyme
Everyone talks about money laundering.
I often wondered what that meant.
So I found out from a good source, the internet.
There's alot of information on the subject, if you just search.
An example goes something like this..,
What if an elderly man had thousands in his bank account and some of those thousands disappeared during his relationship with a woman, who had a past for greediness and conning.
The old man's family then tried to find his missing money, they even went to the authorities for help, but to no avail.
The old man died and the greedy woman moved on. Time passed and soon a very suspicious transaction occured.
The greedy woman and her new husband purchases a piece of real estate, using all cash as a large down payment, for grins and giggles let's say around fifty thousand dollars.
The other suspicious part would be that the man and his wife created an LLC in one state and then made a purchase of the new real estate in a different state, using the LLC that they had created, for the use of said purchase of real estate.
The new real estate was soon sold after the purchase and the LLC was closed.
My question would then be-who in the world uses all cash, for a down payment? And then uses two different states to purchase and then resell the real estate, after just purchasing it. Seems like alot of trouble to go through to purchase a piece of real estate, if you ask me, but no ones asking me so I would have to think this is suspicious.
This could be one example to explain a way that a person would hide stolen money and attempt to wash it clean, I guess that's why it's called money laundering, and now we both know.
Categories:
conning, evil, irony, wisdom,
Form:
Free verse
The mild soothing voice
Of the bald Financial Guru
Is spreading the needs of others
While the lovely bouncing
Voice of Mel, charms an interview
With gentle kindness she will
Invite you to reveal your soul
And commanding vocal manner if needed
Will highlight the error of your ways
With a dry sense of humour
Kochie introduces a controversial topic
Bringing in his lovely guests he introduces to us
The 3 Wise and Wonderful Angels
A panel of Beautiful, Intellectual, Fiery girls
Voices rise
Chatter increases
Left, right and centre
The topic is being
Clawed apart
From the dark deep depths
Rises Kochie with
A soothing voice that
Calms the devilish conversation
Soothing any ruffled feathers
And a joke that needs a
Coffee to wash it down
With the confidence and appeal
That can only be provided
By a professional sportsman
Beretts takes us into and behind
The Wide Wonderful World of sport
Bringing us back to reality
A beautiful smile on a serious face
Natalie inform us of day to day
Events that occur around and beside
The life we call ours
A personality jumping out of his skin
Through the radio waves and into your face
Conning a life style of luxury
While telling us we will be
Freezing by midday and melting by midnight
With a short mans stature
Grant can laugh at himself
Mark, Melissa, Kochie, Natalie and Grant
Kicking back in a leather lounge
Bantering between themselves
Drawing our interest
And sharing their happiness
Introducing light entertainment
Easy on the ears, soft on the eyes
Together from when the sun rises
To the lowering of the curtain
With a smile
And a laugh
Through
Rain, Hail and Snow
On with the show we must go
Every morning
To say thank you
We invite the team to
Join us for breakfast
(c)2013 Gordon Andrews
Categories:
conning, people,
Form:
Prose
Life Of A Canine Named "Pooch”...
Equally Worthy As Mine
No explanation why,
the following unpleasant memory
shocked this systemofadown human vie
bur rent lee, suddenly, and oppressively
as if...a heavy object
fell from the sky
knocking render yours truly
into a crash test dummy
tail spinning vertigo,
where the soul of this guy
at this moment, when
the following misdeed
occurred well nigh
many werewolf full
moons ago, hence a sigh
leant echo with matthew scott
till he doth die!
Nonetheless, to my
dying day I cannot
forget, nor allow
un paw din nub bull sub woofing,
recollection, yet try as I might ow
(the psychological pain
still rubbed red
dully bone raw),
where ring around
the collar of
this paw - pow
whir fully, doggedly,
grudgingly, now
fines me to em bark
with a shrill bow wow
impossibly (even
incrementally) forgive
thy then girlfriend, now
spouse of approximately
deux dozen plus
years Oh my
DOG - "holy cow"
forsaking the beautiful
faithful, and loyal "purportedly
man's beast friend,"
and ideal chow
mate, upon venting still
smoldering grief
when said wife
egregiously, heartlessly, and
indiscriminately, (though not
deliberately) evoked strife
(cross) be still finds me gnashing,
where emotional grief rife
this closing November 19th, 2018
analogous to a serrated knife
tearing, stabbing, ripping,
and gnaw zee ate
ting lee wreck conning
this melon collie life
of mine, no more valuable,
than a unconditionally loving
creature "put down"
at the Chester County S.P.C.A.
leaving this aging puppy
with an indelible frown,
which sad recollection
unleashes sorrow every noun
and again, which
unrelenting hounding
agony, asper an non
healing wound tantamount
to unsolved killings
haunting ghost town.
Categories:
conning, absence, anger, best friend,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
A
man who
wanted to
invent things, he
claimed he had made a
car that ran on water!
Said to be bribed and threatened
by Big Oil, he was deemed a fraud
when he refused to let the court test
his creation. Did no one see it work?
This is but one of the mysteries that
surrounds Stanley, who died after he
sipped some juice at a restaurant.
He gripped his throat and said that
he’d been poisoned, but this
was not proved. Why? Was
he gas-lighted?
Or was he
conning
US??
June 8, 2022
for Joe Maverick's Life Death And Aims Of Stanley Meyer Poetry Contest
Categories:
conning, work,
Form:
Etheree
Copyright 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS L.H. ANDRESS
Dedicated to EVERY AND ALL MELISSAS, ELIAS' & MATILDA'S!
(BANGING IT TO THE MAX!)
(HILLARY AND BARRY...2016...PEANUTS & BRITTLE!)
NIGHTS...OUT...My-Time-is-OUT!
My-Light...is-OUT...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
In-my-lousy-NIGHT-OUT...My-Poster's-STROBING!
LIGHTS-OUT...AND-STROBING!
FLASHING-AND-DASHING...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
If-crystal-smiles...CRACK...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
If-teeth-don't-SQUEEZE-RIGHT...HE-WAS-A-CROOK
AND-CROOKED!
If-crystal-smiles...CRACK...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
You-wonder-AND-DOUBT...Are-you-SMART-or-DUMB
AND-A-LOUT?
I'M-SMART...AND-YET-YOU-DOUBT!
He-said-WONG-ing-And-WRONGING-BRING-DOUBT
SO-PEN-RIGHT...AND-DON'T-DOUBT!
He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
A-CROOK-TO-THE-MAX...AND-A-LOUT!
CONNING...to-the-MAX!
LIKE...A-MAD-MAX...SO-DON'T-DOUBT!
If-TOOTHY-GRINS...SPIN-YOU-RIGHT-TO-WRONG!
DON'T-DOUBT...He-was-only-a-lousy-LOUT!
In-the-howling-BLUE-STARLIT-CRACK-OF-LIGHT!
BURSTING-and-SPINNING-TO-THE-RIGHT-TO-LEFT!
BLUE-LIGHT!
And-when-I-awoke...toothy-grins...and-smily-faces
MY-SISTERS...TOOTHY-GRINS!
MY-SISTERS...IN-TOOTHY-GRINS...AND-PINKY-TOES!
Dancing-in-the-BLUE-LIGHT!
POSTERS-BLAZING...AND-DAZING!
SMILING-FACES...AND-TOOTHY-GRINS...ALL!
OUR-WALLS!
AND-BLUE-LIGHTS...AND-STROBES!
ORBS-OF-OUR-HOPES-AND-DREAMS!
If-you-wonder-and-DOUBT...Our-Boxes...OF-TOYS-BRING...GRINS!
TOOTHY-and-TOOTHLESS!
THE-BEASTS-IN-THE-HOWLING-AND-WINDLESS...SWIRLING
'NADOES...IN-THE-PUREST...HOPES-AND-DREAMS!
OUR-BOXES...OF-OUR-HEARTS...DREAMING-AND-SCHEMING!
HOPES-AND-DREAMS...STORED-RIGHT!
RIGHT-TO-LEFT...AND...LEFT-TO-RIGHT...SPUN-RIGHT!
SWIRLING-AND-TWIRLING...BURSTING-AND-BIRTHING!
When...MOM-AND-DAD...POPS!
It-was...CRYSTAL...and-POP!
'NANAS...AND-CRUMBLY...CAKE...AGAIN?!?!
SCHOOL'S...OUT!
LIGHTS-OUT!
YAY!
YAY!
NO-WAY! NO-WAY!
AND-WITH-OUT-PINKY-TOES-AND-PINKY...JUMPS-TA-START!
CRYSTAL-BLUE...STARLIGHT!
CRYSTAL-BLUE...STARLIGHT!
LIGHTS-ARE-OUT!
LIGHTS-ARE-OUT!
STROBING...AND-STROBING! CRYSTAL-BLUE-STARNIGHTS!
STROBING...AND-STROBING! CRYSTAL-BLUE-STARNIGHTS!
FINI--------------------------------------------------------FINI!!!
Categories:
conning, age, beautiful, beauty,
Form:
Ballad
Here it is, that glimmer of hope, a poem I will now be proud to write. I am switching sides from darkness to light on this star filled full moon night.Tom foolery and pride, manipulation and intelligence, with it multiple tables I turned. Gasoline and matches, my tools of trade, oh the massive bridges I burned. Addictions, temptations and pleasure, that was simply the life I would live. Carefully conning my way into the pros, ad lib, like a play with no script. When given no direction to follow, eventually left me with no direction to go. And with no direction to go, left me lost, lonely, with a trail of ashes and alone. An ocean of ashes surrounding me, I laugh nervously...I burned it all. Laughter turns to tears, under a star filled full moon night.... tears fall. Life from me dissipates slowly, I lay decaying becoming too....ashes. Yet my soul held such a hidden will to live, soar, and succeed....it was miraculous. From those ashes my soul became like a phoniex, erupting from the nothing, a force of will. A new sense of direction in life, and with nothing in life left to destroy, I started to build.
Categories:
conning, depression, growth, hope, inspiration,
Form:
Rhyme
Yesterday as I was going to my chair
I saw a cat not sleeping there!
He was’t asleep there, again today
Oh how I wish he’d not be away.
At home at last after beers - three (or four or five)
Certain, I can’t be
The cat was’t waiting there you see,
When I looked both in and out
The cat wasn’t there about.
Come back, come back my pet
The door I’ve left open yet
But when I looked again he wasn’t there
No ball of fur on my chair.
With no light a shining in the room
I thought I saw the cat a welcoming
But when the switch, I pressed – on
It was as if I’d said begone
For the cat on my chair
Wasn’t there.
Early morning came at last
And I looked to see what fate had cast
For when at the table sat
There was awaiting my cat.
**
"As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there!
He wasn't there again today,
Oh how I wish he'd go away!" [5][6][7]
When I came home last night at three,
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall,
I couldn't see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door...
Last night I saw upon the stair,
A little man who wasn't there,
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away...
"Antigonish" is an 1899 poem by American educator and poet William Hughes Mearns. It is also known as "The Little Man Who Wasn't There" and was adapted as a hit song under the latter title.
Inspired by reports of a ghost of a man roaming the stairs of a haunted house, in Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada,[1] the poem was originally part of a play called The Psyco-ed, which Mearns had written for an English class at Harvard University, circa 1899.[2] In 1910, Mearns staged the play with the Plays and Players, an amateur theatrical group, and on 27 March 1922, newspaper columnist FPA printed the poem in "The Conning Tower", his column in the New York World.[2][3] Mearns subsequently wrote many parodies of this poem, giving them the general title of, Later Antigonishes.[4]
Categories:
conning, animal, cat, pets,
Form:
Rhyme
she pips in fear for lateness like her peers,
hauteur cloaked with reticence,
her-boo-boo-vague, though walled around and palpable
official Narcissist disguised in rude affronts
Bravado of naughtiness in candor yet tacit
“Free me free me”, rants in melancholy
as ignorance upsets sorts of sort
Insensibility of differentiate as angels often tastes the gall
By routines of cataract long glare
Sends nostalgia down their spines
Though forgetting the milk and candies of supposed rivals
Doubling as friends in conning angst beggarly in their nature
Nagging and ganging a gang of gossipers
Finding Mutual grounds for their victims
Causing higgledy where there exist no war
For a suspected compromise of morals
Or a hunting taint of a past paints on Z walls
Where decorum is not a schoolmaster
As official time wastes in visits to motels at un-break break time
With holy bible at desk view to mask hypocrisy
First venerable “Etis” Migrants tasted buds of vinegary as noised by witnessing chauffeur
And guilt cautioned not her thigh with avalanche of showy attire of a seductress
advertorials of “buried innocence”jagged in curved carbuncle front and back
Banging shoes in unending visits secreted in kitchen
double faced, loud calls to clients for managerial gratitude
as empty office fill vacuums of fast quickie (sharp-shap) appointments arranged or rearranged
Ill mannered, bad tempered not marriageable, never listen, never patient making enemies
Commandeering, verbose, self-conceited, presumptuous, stout and arrogant
Categories:
conning, beauty, betrayal, character, crazy,
Form:
IF EVER I HAD A COUNTRY: LXXXIII
IF ever I had a country, a country where I were, by virtue of the highly
meritorious and exceptional services rendered to the State in conning and
duping the People, persuaded to assume the role
of Ministre d’Etat without Portfolio or duty
I would – I solemnly assure you, the Common Folk –first and foremost focus my very close attention on the questions of feminist practices discriminatory
And having noticed aghast with utter shame, disgust and fury that in some
countries women (sadly excluding trans-gender athletes) are treated with
utmost disregard, enmity and indignity
As for example, they being downgraded to the abysmal level of having to play
Soft-Ball (what’s that? “Round-us”?) while men knock-about with hard
base-minded balls of virility
I’ll invite the Minister of Sports to my official well-leathered and cushy
chambers to see how I esteem my Personal Secretary by letting her turn up for work in her swim-suit with her pet monkey on her knee
And I’ll warn him, nay, threaten him with my wagging fore-finger, on how I’ll
under-cut his Olympic Budget in half if he didn’t thenceforth authorize
soft-ball gals to cavort on the pitch with just the women’s Beach Volley Ball suit – with no “strings” attached – for all, including frustrated
cameramen looking vainly for the “opening” shot…. for all to see
And this, even if I were doomed to be strung up on the White House Christmas Tree
So be it, even if I never ever had no country nor squash racquet to bash balls soft or hard care-free
(c) T. Wignesan, Paris, August 12, 2021
Categories:
conning, abuse, humor, women,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue