Best Clientele Poems
A Roomba* in England went AWOL;
It disappeared from a hotel.
They searched high and low
All the spots it might go
With no help from the whole clientele.
The word got around as expected
As well-wishers cheered its escape;
But employees allege
It was found ‘neath a hedge,
None the worse for its trip, not a scrape.
Now it’s back with its friends in a closet,
Consigned to the rooms on the floor;
Yet it will not forget
What it did, but I’ll bet
It’s the vacuum that Nature’d abhor.
*a robot vacuum
Categories:
clientele, missing,
Form:
Rhyme
A brotherly jaunt through sinister mirth
behold the brothers Death:
gowned and guided, an ill century
the fourteenth, an alliance of crop, of plague
in ground-down death of torrential pains
in sores and blood under the rains
that drowned the land, starved the bellies
there echoed howls of ill exclaim
a wanting of a light to shine
is where the brothers thought that they
worked well together, effectively
one would scoop from ruined crop
one from sickness, war, attack
the beak, a sign, of the plague mask
in shacks, where hags mopped weeping rot
crosses on doors, on floors of straw
with nothing in the cooking pot
the brothers danced and sang their wealth
of many clientele they sought
and on they went, and on they struck
perfecting songs on appetites
of pestilence and of disease
hand in hand like trees whose leaves
do smother, smite, in murderous breeze
the brothers, down the ages tease
and beckon, wreaking havoc on,
like rolling waves of seas on high
always taunting their sister - life
Categories:
clientele, brother, death, history, humanity,
Form:
Rhyme
They call you corporate?
Well then so am I
You’re that same guy I saw pass by
And cut your eyes in my direction
Like I was some kind of menace
But we’re both lawless
I run my world from where you wouldn’t dare
You run yours from that big corner office
Same hustle
Different size slice cut from the same seedy pie
The only real difference?
You run your sins from a hundred floors high
But you hustle just like me
Mr. White Collar critic
I may openly live it
But just like me
You push your product towards the weak and impulsive
So like it or not you’ve been right in it
Just like me
Supply and demand
Different trade, same plan
We target the same clientele
That same vulnerable man
Cause’ once that money changes hands
We both have no shame
All green money spends the same
You got your stocks, insider trade
I got my rocks
We’re both self made
You got your inside sources turned state’s witness
I employ the young and ambitious
Sometimes they slip up
And they too become snitches
So the flavor in your greed taste just like mine
Two people who at the end of the day
Pull up their britches in the same way
One crooked leg at a time
So you see
You hustle just like me
You got your “just in case” insurance
Stashed off shore, to be dispensed upon request
You launder
I make threats
Eventually,
What both of us want both of us gets
You keep a tight circle
I keep one too
But mine’s called a crew
In any case it keeps us less nervous
But they serve the same damn purpose
They help us sleep while our money stays in service
What I sell makes people believe they can fly
So yes,
My trade is predicated on a lie
But I guess
Your trade is just as cleverly disguised
It’s just that your lies are forgiven by less judgmental eyes
But both our business models have destroyed innocent lives
So in essence
When you stare at me
It’s like a mirrored view into your own scandal clad eyes
You know why?
Cause’ you hustle
Just like me
Copyright © 2014 by Daryl R. Gaines. All rights reserved
Categories:
clientele, anger, black african american,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
My thumbs pressed on the trigger.
The M-2 bucked its load.
I squinted down the barrel
And watched his head explode.
An early morning ambush,
A steaming Luzon hell,
For Ferdi and Imelda,
Our Cold War clientele.
The mission was generic:
Suppress the NPA*.
It didn't really matter
Just who got in the way.
I carried out my orders
And did what I was told,
But Christ, the kid I wasted
Was only twelve years old.
*New People’s Army – a Maoist insurgency
Categories:
clientele, dark, war,
Form:
Lyric
Cowardly this loathsome fellow
In old west they’d call him yellow
I guess that was his biggest flaw
Jealous greater than Othello
He wanted more, the more he saw
Hauling around his gaping jaw
What’s to come of this man of greed
Lied until his scruples were raw
He stole from innocents in need
It would run green if he did bleed
So a deal with the devil struck
To warnings he refused to heed
After years of passing the buck
It seems this man ran out of luck
His broker dragged him down to hell
One more trade up a sleeve to pluck
Scamming incoming clientele
He found a job he could do well
Now he is Satan’s man in charge
Of telemarket personnel
Categories:
clientele, corruption, silly,
Form:
Rubaiyat
Why do people pay big bucks
For something by Chanel?
I realize that they’re selling to
A wealthy clientele…
But I really just don’t get it.
Every pocketbook or such
With that famous logo goes for
What most folks would say too much.
And by that, I’m talking thousands
Just to own, what seems to me,
Quite an ugly choice of purses
With a fancy pedigree.
Still, so many women want them
And I really wish I knew
What’s the root of their attraction,
For I haven’t got a clue.
Categories:
clientele, fashion,
Form:
Rhyme
Your Honor, I Object
By Elton Camp
Lawyer Louie caters to a special clientele
Only those who are rich and guilty as hell
And, in exchange for his exorbitant fee,
Louie will make sure that they’re set free
He will use ever trick, but never go so far
That the ABA might take action to disbar
All of the prosecution’s witnesses he’ll try
To show they’re incompetent or telling a lie
When the District Attorney starts to close in,
Then Louie will “Your honor I object” begin
He objects to someone able to establish a fact
And from his client’s reputation dare detract
Louie finally found a judge as tough as nails
Who is determined to see that justice prevails
A man who, by such tactics cannot be fooled
Will speaks up and say, “Objection overruled”
Categories:
clientele, funny
Form:
Rhyme
As a great lover of classical music
over many years the violin became ace
one particular lovely lady enchanted me
Anne-Sophie Mutter classically first place
This lady appeared in the Yellow Lounge
a night club in Berlin, she did astound
the Club Album played out such true class
covering composers splendidly crowned
Classical music doesn't normally appeal
in such an establishment it is pretty rare
but the clientele loved this classic treat
as Anne-Sophie served them such fare
Thankfully this performance was recorded
being on CD and DVD covered release
composers like Vivaldi, Gershwin and Bach
stunningly superb richness on each piece
Love to watch this many times over
never fails to hold me in it's grip
such musical feast left in wonder
takes one sailing aboard strings ship
(This piece I have written of my favourite music album by the great German violinist Anne-Sophie Mutter who performed her repertoire at a night club , "The Yellow Lounge" in Berlin, Germany.
It's available on youtube if you would like to watch as it last just over 30 minutes. )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vKA8LW8NxI
Categories:
clientele, class, motivation, music, sound,
Form:
Rhyme
Steam Train Troubles
Percival the steward of the train
Ordered foie gras and oysters too
But left them on the station platform like a fool
Wealthy customers will find this rather tedious
Trips from Switzerland to Germany can be quite mundane
There is plenty of coal though to keep the engine going
Steaming over rail and snow
Not too many murders are expected this go round
Business is much slower this time of year
Train travel lost its luster over time and customers as well
It is quieter with poorer clientele around
A handful of rich still occupy first class
Hang out about the open bar up there
Mr. Smith forgot his ticket
His wife is having an affair with Percival
The conductor wants them both arrested
For their blatant misconduct most unpleasant
Guns come out inside a tunnel entrance
Train covered sights and sounds inside the cab in there
When it exited, Percival was dead
Natural causes were to blame
With a bullet in his brain
Hundred dollar bills were scooped up from the floor
By witnesses who saw nothing but the trees outside
Steam engine rolled along the tracks as usual
Taking truth and reason with it through the snow
Created on 1/14/15 for Shadow Hamilton - “Railway Journeys” Poetry Contest
Categories:
clientele, adventure, business, conflict, dark,
Form:
Free verse
I ran across a recipe book
Called ‘Cuisine For Clientele’,
On the cover was an unchaste cook
Making prosti-soup and broth-el.
On the back it stated that ‘Eating
Is the most human obsession.
Bar for the one that bears repeating;
The world’s oldest profession.’
At first look I was taken aback,
But placed it in my hand cart.
Then at home found it was amply stacked
With cocottes and luscious tarts.
In no time flat, I got courageous
When I summoned up the nerve.
To prepare from the worn pages,
A plate of red-hot, whore-d’oeuvres.
Followed by the main course of shell fish;
A meal fit for baronets.
For ours and the books paramount dish,
Are fresh trollops on strumpets.
Sure it’s true that most of the recipes
May seem sexist and campy,
But don’t fear, coz two of its specialties
Are beef cake and pimp scampi.
For dessert we hope our guests have fun
When they wrestle for Jello.
They say it’s the best under the sun,
Though born from a Bordello.
Aroused guests always leave satisfied,
Although some try to be cute.
Yet failed no matter how hard they’ve tried
Matching my book of ill repute!
Categories:
clientele, food, funny, sin, ,
Form:
Quatrain
A true Banshee knows how to kick some tail
Leprechaun's give and take, but never full sail
A Centaur speaks with the truth, to no avail
Ask a warlock's mistress, likely she won't tell
Aphrodite's abides only to her clientele
She'll put you under a most powerful spell
Wizards conjure the demons from hell
Warlocks are able to escape their cell
Cloven witches remain to ring the bell
Dark shadows create visions from Hell
Categories:
clientele, fantasy
Form:
Light Verse
People often say now I understand
When they hear that I'm from Paree
Not Gay Paree silly, but redneck
In the heart of Tennessee
I am the newest style of hairdressers
Here to lay out all the facts
I no longer work on the tops of heads
But straight out of the pits
It all happened when I got bored
With the every day to day
Trimming of the head left me feeling dead
That's when it hit me..."Underarm Braid"
That right there was my life saver
That right there was my turn around
If it didn't make me world famous
At least it did on this side of town
Now people come from as far as Nashville
To have their underarms done
I even gave a left and right pit Mohawk
To the Governor's daughter and son
What? Did you think I only braided?
There's so much more that I can do
Just ask the Punk Rock Chick's that wait in line
To have their armpits colored blue
My older clientele have let there hair grow out
Since it is they learned
I'm now specializing in for both women and men
Their favorite sets and perms
So feel the freedom of the pits
That hippie chicks have long since known
Here at Michael's Salon Of Pits
We'll do something special with that growth
Categories:
clientele, funny, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
This mall is quite gigantic,
Filled with every type of store.
It even boasts a Ferris wheel,
Which families adore.
The food court, rife with choices,
Is right near the carousel,
Both attracting all the parents,
Beneficial clientele.
There’s a gym and, yes, a dentist!
Climbing platforms for the kids,
So it isn’t universal
That all malls are on the skids.
We just went to pass some hours
On a Sunday afternoon
Which the weather (cold and windy!)
Made seem very opportune.
Categories:
clientele, places,
Form:
Rhyme
“Have you ever done this type of work before”?
“they’re sheep – I’m a sheep dog – are you serious?”
“Are you aware we have a dress code?”
“no way am I wearing a dress.”
“You will be interacting with our clientele daily”
“and to be kind --- you are a bit rough around the edges.”
“Have you seen your clientele up close?”
“I only wear my hair like this to fit in.”
“And there is the security clearance issue.”
“Security Clearance!!! If I can fit under the same fences
that they fit under…..that’s my security clearance.”
“So we’ll offer you the standard contract.”
“Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week,
fifty two weeks a year.”
“Hey, hey, I’m a sheep dog not their mother!!”
“DID YOU JUST LICK YOURSELF???”
“GET OFF THE FURNITURE!!!”
“Why did I ever take this Bo Peep contract??”
John G. Lawless
6/23/2015
Categories:
clientele, humor,
Form:
I sit on the terrace
Of Le Cafe du Coeur
The morning sun, bringing subtle rays of hope
To this otherwise dull moment
I sip mon cafe, dreaming of others
And other times
Fine linen paper, pen in hand
The loneliest poem in all the land
The words flow, ink to paper
One line at a time
They sing of thoughts
Emotions long drained, other times
It is time for a walk to nowhere
Along the banks of a river with no name
I leave the cafe table, a cafe with no fame
I left the poem, with empty glass, alone
There sits this poem, written for no one
On a table, in quiet solitude
Waiting for the next clientele to arrive
The waiter clears the empty glass, no more…
She sits, alone, the day begun
Her life a mystery to us all
As she sees this paper of fine linen
With words, so elegantly scrawled
The waiter with espresso in hand, smiles
As she reads a strangers words
They speak to the very desires of her heart
They tell her who she is
This sunny day turns to rain
As her tears wash the table cloth
She weeps
For finally, she knows
Who she desires
A poet with no name
Categories:
clientele, beauty, pain, passion, philosophy,
Form:
Light Verse