Best Clanger Poems
The DJ shuts the fader by mistake,
yet speaks his words in slick and practised tones,
but doesn’t hear them coming through his ’phones,
berates himself: That’s quite a gaffe to make.
That’s five whole seconds, nothing but dead air.
I’ve dropped a clanger. This is just not done!
The programme’s live, it’s not a trial run.
The punters might retune and go elsewhere.
But more important is that what we give
distracts, amuses, offers light, bright, trite.
Dead air is not an option. Get it right!
They need our pap: it tells them how to live.
Although this little lapse is but a blink,
it might just give the punters time to think.
Categories:
clanger, satire,
Form:
Sonnet
‘Turn swords into ploughshares and nightmares to dreams’
I have not one plough and no shares in the market
Insomnia has taken over my nights the rest is illusion
Ambitions are exhausted and hope has no yearning
Freedom dangles on the rope of puppet-less strings
Vacuum reflects an echo of silent ear bursting rasping
Dissonance oozes from cacophony’s apathetic rattle
The heavy clanger of other’s fraudulent forge melts disowned blood
Into ice in my veins as a purulent mind oozes vile battles' cries
Muted by trench feet scraping bottomless mind-fields and apathy
‘Pull yourself out of catatonia’s core-less pits’
But there is no kernel of truth and fruits of desire have rotted
To the acrid stench of a Self carefully lost on broken branches
Snapped composure looms over a well-trodden treacherous path
Carved into an involuntary hermit’s cave by a cliff edged road side
It is grave in the cavern in which vacant vagrants jumble their bones
Disconnect their last possession and wilfully trade skulls and bones
‘This too shall pass and so many others have been stuck in the rot’
And yet suffocation in some muddy sludge is sinking
Slowly and excruciatingly tempting to join forces of evil
A dark rusty anchor floats high on the unreachable ceiling
Time I have endless measures of but the world is upside down
I am out of the picture that has faded memories for the future
Dislodged and dismembered I am a powerful union of nothing
‘Change your perspective and find solace where it is hidden’
So he who is I from the distance finally lets go of unwarranted grip
Descends as far from the surface as possible beyond expectations
And finds footing of the shackles where the ploughshare should be
The spikes pierce my soles and my soul ostensibly drowned in sorrow
At least there is pain and some place in between scars to feel emotions
That tentatively nurture rescue apparently beyond impossible salvation
‘Your advice seemed hollow but there is some loving space left inside my shell’
29th November 2019
Categories:
clanger, courage, depression, hope,
Form:
Free verse
BELLS
I.
Bells has a tingling ring to it,
a jingledy-jangle silver tone.
The tympanic waltz, close knit —
angelic chorus of Christ’s throne.
And Winter parades its magic —
the pure white snow purling gold.
Morgans’ shiver and shake chromatic.
Enchantment’s carol — behold!
O Christmas day — the pearly gates
stretched wide open in senssuround,
handbells harmonious, worldwide translate
singing, sweeping, melody crowned.
~
II.
*Poesome bells! They’re morose.
Tentacles dingle-dangle forth.
Curious onlooker of its strokes,
midnight binds its ears, looks North.
The lonesome brass calls for lad
and lass with clean cuts and braids.
The aww-no sound is clad
in a nonsenseless grade.
*Edgar Allen dawdles with death clang,
its clanger brain, hellish.
The beauty, from tower hangs —
the dauber of knells doth relish.
12/20/2020
*Some thoughts from Poe’s poem “The Bells”
Categories:
clanger, beautiful, christmas, dark, sound,
Form:
Rhyme
There are many names for the common ‘Fart’
To name them all is quite an art
Let’s start off with good old ‘Smell’
Who it’s from we cannot tell
From the mouths of babes a ‘Pop Off’ comes
Always a giggle to all their chums
A ‘Blast Off’ is popular with the wee ones too
Often accompanied with “who’s done a poo”?
The ‘Clanger’ is popular with many a folk
Teenage boys and your average bloke
Grandma says can you please refrain
From letting ‘Fluffy off the Chain’
Here are some more just to name a few
There’s ‘Flatulence’, ‘Wind’ and ‘Air-Poo’
Honourable mentions go to these below
‘Gas’, ‘Toot’ and ‘Fluff’
Other names for ‘letting go’
Although impressive these names above
The trophy goes
To ‘Puff of Love’
Categories:
clanger, fun, humorous, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
Bolehland recorded one of the greatest mystery in modern air travel....
A full passenger jet plane that mysteriously went missing into thin air...
Despite spending millions in a long and exhaustive search...
Nothing of definitive interest came up all through the very costly search...
Spearheaded by experts from Australia, the search scoured the murky depths of the Indian Ocean...
The search extended into months but there was nought to show in the seabed of the mighty ocean...
Now a couple of years later, debris are supposedly being washed up...
It has appeared over there on the sands of distant Madagascar...
With the world moving on, the interest has waned given the numerous false alarms...
Of debris being found occassionaly from that ill fated jet liner...
Now, here it comes, the latest clanger in this saga of MH370.......
The Malaysian consul to handle the return of MH370 debris..
Was found assassinated before the debris were handed over...
What devilry is this, or was there something more sinister...
Could it be mere coincidence or could it be something bigger...
Death stalks mysteriously, or is it cloak and dagger duggery in high circles.....
That masks the mysterious disappearance of passenger jetliner MH370...
Will future illuminative events unfurl or will truth will never be known...
For the 238 death toll on that ill fated jetliner residing in a watery grave in parts unknown......
Categories:
clanger, anxiety, community, confusion, funeral,
Form:
Free verse
Forgive when it’s a mistake.
It’s just an error, oversight or omission!
Or may be a fallacy, a gaffe, a faux pas or simple solecism.
Or even a howler or a clanger.
Ultimately it's just a miscalculation, misunderstanding,
Misinterpretation, misapprehension or just a misconception!
Realisation is the only cure!
And remember, it’s not your chore!
Play the blame game only if you want to distort your scores!
For, only those who analyse can actually realise!
And, then it becomes lesson of one’s life.
Understand, a mistake is a mistake, it’s not a crime!
Yes, you have a duty to understand, stay clam and to be wise.
Effortless beautiful camaraderie will surely rise.
Just forgive when it’s a mistake.
Life is so beautiful, why unnecessarily complicate?
Categories:
clanger, conflict,
Form:
I wonder why bereaved people even bother with mourning clothes when the grief itself provides such an unmistakable wardrobe. Jandy Nelson
What I scribe assists and soothes the pain.
Conceal my thoughts and jam in my silence.
A sense of agony overwhelms you to complain.
Hardships from upshots or few guidance.
And the sorrow of collapse wager plain.
I cannot let wend my frozen dreams.
It filled my ego with scars from the past.
steadily nagging me, or so it seems.
It filled the vacuum with a mournful cast.
Delight fades away as smoke streams.
Spirits forth from might speak as a rancor.
Yet, nothing helped ease my sadness.
I suck in poison and crush out the clanger.
sick with grief, bearing with his madness.
Allow for the capture of whacks in anger.
The pause is broken, and the repeat is endless.
bleeding wounds, bringing eternal death.
Leave juicy tears of joy alone and friendless.
If you breathe in thickly, gasp your last breath.
My glimpse, soiled by each blink, was restless.
I retain moving forward and looking back.
Smile and laugh through the loneliness.
Lay my spirit on the soil, on a one-way track.
Write the facts again, hope for the wilderness.
Colors explode in a somber, limitless crack.
Return me to the realm betwixt eternal life.
Deny the facts that bind me afar of sight.
At this point, my lifeless face is blind to strife.
Thumps cry; all is gone; admit it; adopt flight.
Life's seed was lost at sea as a clasping knife.
Written: January 28, 2023
Writing Challenge - B Word Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Constance La France
Categories:
clanger, angst, bereavement, confusion, fate,
Form:
Quintain (Sicilian)
Bolehland has the dubious honor of losing a full bodied jet liner...
Undoubtedly touted as one of the greatest mystery in modern air travel....
A full passenger jet plane that went missing into thin air...
A disappearance thatust surpasses those in the dreaded Bermuda Triangle...
Despite spending millions in a long and exhaustive search...
Nothing of interest came up after such a lengthy search...
Now a couple of years later, debris are being washed up...
Supposedly over there on the sands of distant Madagascar...
With ever waning interest and after numerous false alarms...
Could these debris being genuine materials from that ill fated jet liner...
Could they help pinpoint the exact location of the watery grave of MH370....
But here it comes, the latest clanger...
The Malaysian consul to handle the return of MH370 debris...
Found assassinated before the debris were handed over...
Could it be mere coincidence or could it be something bigger...
Unexplained deaths stalks the mystery of the missing Msian jetliner...
What devilry or mischief lies behind the mysterious disappearance of MH370....
Hohoho...
Categories:
clanger, angst, anxiety, community, confusion,
Form:
Free verse
WTFWT
A CLATTER, A BANG
A SLAP-A-CLANGER
A BAM OR SLAM
A FIREWORK BANGER
A ZOOM, A BOOM
A CLAP OF THUNDER
A DROPPED CHAMBER POT
A GAZUNDER
A SCREECH OF FRIGHT
A SOUND OF CRYING
A LIGHTNING STRIKE
A MOAN OF DYING
A RUMBLING OF SOMEONE'S TUMMY.
A BABIES YELL
WHEN IT CAN'T FIND IT'S DUMMY
A SCRAPING NOISE
A GRATING SOUND
A SHOUT OF JOY
A TREASURE FOUND
A TRILL OF A BIRD
A FALLING TREE
I GIVE UP,
IT'S PROVING TOO MUCH FOR ME
I WILL STOP AND HAVE SOME TEA
WTFWT CAME FROM MY MOUTH TOO EASILY
I AM NOT THE GIRL I USED TO BE!
Categories:
clanger, 10th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
It isn't that often as time marches on
that my glad rags come out for a 'do',
more funerals now, each year more friends have gone,
and no births to welcome someone new.
But a forthcoming bash meant I should cut a dash
with some formal wear brought from retirement,
a jacket, single breasted , years past I invested,
it seemed to match my dress requirement.
With a shirt crisp and white, shoes, trousers black as night
and a tie, subtle shades of pale blue,
and the time came to leave, pushed my arms in my sleeves
but something was amiss, I just knew.
This didn't feel right, shoulders felt that bit tight
cuffs were far from my wrists as I looked,
and a mirror can't lie I could now see that I
looked quite like a baloney, half cooked.
I bent forwards and shrugged, both my shoulders I hugged
stomach in, and breathed out, shrank my chest,
the lapels wouldn't meet, I admitted defeat
it's a fact- my East wouldn't meet West.
Passing years and good living had not been forgiving
and although I picked clothes with good taste
maybe had been too proud, but my clothes weren't allowed
to keep up with the change round my waist.
No cursing and no shouts, so I still sauntered out
it annoyed me that I'd dropped a clanger,
ensemble concluded, it visually alluded
to an airship just leaving it's hangar.
Categories:
clanger, age, clothes,
Form:
Rhyme
Flatulence has many endearing names
Most commonly known as a fart
A blow off, fluff, clanger, puff of love
Just a few from a long list and chart
Its an explosive common bodily function
Erupting, blowing ,wafting throughout the world
Yet no matter how many times we hear one
We laugh like its the first one we have ever heard!!!
Categories:
clanger, fun, humor, nonsense, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
They sent me on a spaceship to walk on this dusty moon
I looked back upon planet Earth which almost made me swoon
I came to meet a Clanger and I hoped I’d meet one soon
But I can’t even find a dragon with a serving spoon
I headed for a mound that looked a little like a dune
To hear their classic whistle would be something of a boon
There and then I’d settle for a smuggled in baboon
Or to find an area where Clanger hair was strewn
But then a flick of dust kicked up but with no whistled tune
I tracked it to a critter that looked like a green raccoon
I asked the creature where the Clangers spend their afternoon
The creature said, “The Clangers live on planet ‘Blue’ you goon.”
I leapt back in my spaceship which was called The Macaroon
A strange name for a spaceship but my monorhyme is oon
I jetted off to ‘Blue’ and I arrived half way through June
And then I met the Clangers and they sold me a balloon
Categories:
clanger, planet, space,
Form:
Monorhyme
The cymbals clanged
The drum boom boomed.
The pickle lowed
While the violin tuned
The trumpets drowned
The sound of the drum.
The conductor frowned
And cried for Mum
The fiddler fiddled
With his bow
The flautist giggled
Until she could not blow
The pianist played
Melodious and sweet
The conductor prayed
As the musicians took their seat
As the conductor raised his baton with flare
Wondrous music filled the air
It was marvellous to see
The orchestra playing in harmony
Categories:
clanger, 10th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Billy boy Morris was known for dropping a clanger
He bought a new car that was a complete banger
Prone to making at least a mistake once a day
Is it best to ignore him and keep out of his way ?
Billy boy Morris had a good steady job in a bank
If an extra fiver received to Billy you should thank
Catching the bus home was a catastrophe too
For he caught the wrong one that's certainly true
The meal he prepared was in the oven too long
Poor Billy boy Morris always got things wrong
One thing however he always got right
He slept like a baby each and every night
Categories:
clanger, boy, confusion, life,
Form:
Rhyme
Word is
You have to write bad poetry to learn from your mistakes.
If you cannot think of anything to write right now…
Then wait.
Inspiration will find you and take over your spirit.
Just give it a second. Try and you will feel it.
The immense wave of goodness, filling your soul with joy or anger.
Hold it in or let it go, but do not just let it pass you on by;
That would be called dropping a clanger.
You may never think of a better line,
So write like it’s the only poem you have ever written;
The best thing from your time.
This is no time for nonchalance.
Dive on in;
See what you can find beneath the surface.
Write it now or never word it.
The choice is yours.
I chose how to word this.
(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Categories:
clanger, deep, emotions, inspiration, poetry,
Form:
Bio