Shell Shocked and Choked

‘Turn swords into ploughshares and nightmares to dreams’
		
                I have not one plough and no shares in the market

		Insomnia has taken over my nights the rest is illusion

		Ambitions are exhausted and hope has no yearning

		Freedom dangles on the rope of puppet-less strings

		Vacuum reflects an echo of silent ear bursting rasping

                Dissonance oozes from cacophony’s apathetic rattle

The heavy clanger of other’s fraudulent forge melts disowned blood

Into ice in my veins as a purulent mind oozes vile battles' cries

Muted by trench feet scraping bottomless mind-fields and apathy

			‘Pull yourself out of catatonia’s core-less pits’

	But there is no kernel of truth and fruits of desire have rotted

	To the acrid stench of a Self carefully lost on broken branches

	Snapped composure looms over a well-trodden treacherous path

	Carved into an involuntary hermit’s cave by a cliff edged road side 

	It is grave in the cavern in which vacant vagrants jumble their bones

	Disconnect their last possession and wilfully trade skulls and bones

‘This too shall pass and so many others have been stuck in the rot’

		And yet suffocation in some muddy sludge is sinking

		Slowly and excruciatingly tempting to join forces of evil

		A dark rusty anchor floats high on the unreachable ceiling

		Time I have endless measures of but the world is upside down

		I am out of the picture that has faded memories for the future

		Dislodged and dismembered I am a powerful union of nothing

‘Change your perspective and find solace where it is hidden’

	So he who is I from the distance finally lets go of unwarranted grip

	Descends as far from the surface as possible beyond expectations

	And finds footing of the shackles where the ploughshare should be

	The spikes pierce my soles and my soul ostensibly drowned in sorrow

	At least there is pain and some place in between scars to feel emotions

	That tentatively nurture rescue apparently beyond impossible salvation

‘Your advice seemed hollow but there is some loving space left inside my shell’


29th November 2019
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Theraven Avatar
December 7, 2019 at 10:56 PM
Kai, No 'pep me up messages',,,,check. How about a wish for all dreams to come true? My dog made me ask. -Richard
Neumann Avatar
November 29, 2019 at 3:30 AM
This is written from memory and so there is no need to send 'pep me up' messages. Thank you kindly for reading. Kai
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