Best Breeches Poems

I’ve always been restless since I was a kid,
to settle near drives me insane.
I’ll just throw together the best that I can
what I own and...

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An old gal applied to join Mensa
Gee she couldn’t be any denser
She went in the wrong door
On the thirty third floor
And there she enrolled as...

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BLUEBERRY BOAT

I’m going to sea in a blueberry boat
With cellophane sails on cinnamon mast
It could be cold so I’ll take a coat
And In case of...

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After all is said and done, cliché style
(Forgive me if this does not rhyme, I'm moving
Past rhyme for the sake of rhyme)
You will have gone...

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A dance competition went horribly wrong.
During an Irish gig and a Highland fling song.

The gigger flung his foot out in front.
The flinger went flying, taking...

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This man was a laborer, and in vacuum cleaner sales.
He came a long way from Pontypridd in South Wales.
From humble beginnings as Thomas Jones Woodward,
Tom...

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I heard the dreadful Dryad's scream
As axe bit into woody flesh
The sap oozed out as scented cream
My veins stood out in rictal mesh

My wits all...

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The blacksmith a gunsmith he says he is, therewith aligned with Lilith 
Giving birth to death and pestilence, his allegiance is to his conscience, which...

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A pant-less lady
liked to go places
she was rather bawdy
and liked to loosen her laces

she was spied by a grandee
he pulled up his braces
then gave her...

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A spider drank cider and was legless at breakfast 
Now this placid arachnid with a shoddy wee body
Asked weevils so evil if they each had...

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The gooseberry bush, a thing of beauty,
bow to my lady, bow to my lord

The homely hearth and sty for stock,
Bread for my bairns, fat for...

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Over the horizon is heard the sputtering engine of an unusual bird.
Trailing a billowing plume of smoke, it looked so pathetically absurd!
Coming into view was...

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In the garden populated with flowers, red and budded,
Resort robins birds, with inflated fluffy feathers. 
They fall in waves between the grass gushing in green...

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Influenced by "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight" and "The Rape of the Lock," my goal is to write this completely in iambic meter with...

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Sonnet 19

        Have you ever noticed
           the gentle...

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